SPs becoming FWB

[sx4play]

For those that have met any SP(s) and the relationship became one of FWB and no longer a transactional exchange, do you prefer it or regret it and wish it could just go back to being transactional?
Personally I love the fact that it cost me practically nothing financially aside from spending on the occasion meal or drinks hanging out, and her letting me do things like film, not requiring protection, and being able to explore all sorts of kinks and having no clock in play. However, I get drawn into unnecessary drama, having a lot of my time wasted, and having disagreements/arguments and a range of emotions in play that is usually reserved for a bf/gf relationship. Every time I see the tears flow from her eyes, im thinking I don’t have the energy to deal with it. As hot as she is and as good as she might be in bed, I would never make her my gf even though she’s poured her heart out to me on many occasions.
Things are no longer simple and efficient. I personally am starting to feel like wanting to go back to how things were during the first transactional exchange. But I don’t think that to be possible now given we’ve been FWB for quite a while now and we share a lot of other history over time.

 

[Whiterhino]

I absolutely regret it and did wish it could go back to being transactional. Literally for all the reasons you've mentioned. I've dealt with 3 and all 3 had similar traits. Why 3? Because I'm a genius. I'm not saying it can't work, this is just my experience. All had unresolved trauma and mental illness. My advice to anyone thinking of doing this: keep it professional and don't kill the fantasy.

 

[bazokajoe]

Cut the cord and move on.

 

[K Douglas]

Been there done that. It was a mistake I intend to never make again.

 

[YoYoHoward]

You pay one way or another. First thing I learned in this hobby.

If you have the money, it’s absolutely liberating to hand it to her and have her leave so you can watch the game in peace.

 

[shack]

For those that have met any SP(s) and the relationship became one of FWB and no longer a transactional exchange, do you prefer it or regret it and wish it could just go back to being transactional?
Personally I love the fact that it cost me practically nothing financially aside from spending on the occasion meal or drinks hanging out, and her letting me do things like film, not requiring protection, and being able to explore all sorts of kinks and having no clock in play. However, I get drawn into unnecessary drama, having a lot of my time wasted, and having disagreements/arguments and a range of emotions in play that is usually reserved for a bf/gf relationship. Every time I see the tears flow from her eyes, im thinking I don’t have the energy to deal with it. As hot as she is and as good as she might be in bed, I would never make her my gf even though she’s poured her heart out to me on many occasions.
Things are no longer simple and efficient. I personally am starting to feel like wanting to go back to how things were during the first transactional exchange. But I don’t think that to be possible now given we’ve been FWB for quite a while now and we share a lot of other history over time.

The classic definition of a double-edged sword.

 

[Callmerey]

I absolutely regret it and did wish it could go back to being transactional. Literally for all the reasons you've mentioned. I've dealt with 3 and all 3 had similar traits. Why 3? Because I'm a genius. I'm not saying it can't work, this is just my experience. All had unresolved trauma and mental illness. My advice to anyone thinking of doing this: keep it professional and don't kill the fantasy.

I never experienced it but from this post and some experiences from my mates, it definitely is better to keep it monetary ONLY. This job isn’t as easy as a lot of gentlemen in other threads crib about- “there’s nothing a girl does but lie there”. Imagine having so many men getting physical with you and with different demands, girls can’t say no even if they don’t like because that’s their earning, therefore alcohol and dr*gs help them to pass through their sessions.
Which further results in total damage of their mental health.
No matter how good she is in bed, her brain wouldn’t work like normal ones and thus causing men a lot of troubles. But again, not all women in business are alike.

 

[jalimon]

What does FWB means?

 

[seanzo]

What does FWB means?

Friend with benefits.

 

[that6969]

Cut the cord and move on as mentioned unless you have a hard time letting go of people. I even remove people from my social and don't care. If you can zone out her venting or something and still enjoy her company and being sexual then you can try continuing it. A friend of mine had a FWB that turned into a relationship and now back to FWB and she does vent to him at times and he was open and honest with her about spending hours listening to her vent about other guys, friends or something else because it was draining him mentally usually hearing the same stuff over and over again. He did give advice and show empathy, but yeah it can get draining for you mentally. If it's becoming too much and you can't go back to it being transactional then try and move on. Don't let anyone hold you back from enjoying life and stuff.

 

[Sonic Temple]

 

[dirkd101]

I've been down this road and have no regrets. It was nothing that I sought, but it did get awkward when she wanted more.

 

[Leimonis]

For those that have met any SP(s) and the relationship became one of FWB and no longer a transactional exchange, do you prefer it or regret it and wish it could just go back to being transactional?
Personally I love the fact that it cost me practically nothing financially aside from spending on the occasion meal or drinks hanging out, and her letting me do things like film, not requiring protection, and being able to explore all sorts of kinks and having no clock in play. However, I get drawn into unnecessary drama, having a lot of my time wasted, and having disagreements/arguments and a range of emotions in play that is usually reserved for a bf/gf relationship. Every time I see the tears flow from her eyes, im thinking I don’t have the energy to deal with it. As hot as she is and as good as she might be in bed, I would never make her my gf even though she’s poured her heart out to me on many occasions.
Things are no longer simple and efficient. I personally am starting to feel like wanting to go back to how things were during the first transactional exchange. But I don’t think that to be possible now given we’ve been FWB for quite a while now and we share a lot of other history over time.

another angle is: is she still a SW? if not, it'd be easier to listen to her work related complaints (which seems to be a main feature of modern relationships). Listening to what shape of dick she dealt with during her last shift or reading her reviews is not for the faint of heart.

 

[that6969]

You could do what my buddy did and have an open calm discussion with her letting her know she's not your gf and you don't want to hear about certain things such as other guys. My buddy did that with his FWB because he was the one who wanted a relationship and she eventually stopped it shortly when they were a couple. So he let her know about her venting which he has no issues listening to if she was his gf. Otherwise he's happy as a piggy rocking a bunch of video games without listening to her for hours on end. I'm sure a few work related stuff he doesn't mind, but she wasted his weekend just blabbing on and on and stuff lol. Stuff like that for men get annoying where people of whatever gender make a mountain out of a mudhole. I generally lean towards shrugging stuff off especially with current event issues unless they start to affect me directly otherwise why dwell on what you can not change that's happening around the world.

 

[sx4play]

We both no doubt enjoy the sex, and I’ve always thought the expectations and boundaries of each other had been established, but then every so often out of nowhere there is the outpouring of feelings and then I’m left feeling bad/guilty for having fucked her. I then always try to deflect and make light of the situation by telling her her deep feelings aren’t real and that I’m nothing special, but then the tears start flowing. Or we’d have conflict and I need remind her I’m not her bf. We’ve both had our own relationships during these times so I’m not sure why it can’t be as simple as hanging out, having sex and that’s it. I’m never ever going to shed tears for her even though I may care about her feelings. I’m actually surprised neither of us have end things yet. Her being an SP or former SP isn’t the issue preventing me of from ever wanting to have a real bf/gf relationship with her. Our lifestyles and social circles are simply too different.

 

[that6969]

" Our lifestyles and social circles are simply too different." This is key. I'm glad you understand this. The girl my buddy still wants they both seem to have differences like that which I explained to him because she's more social and outgoing compared to him more so being an introvert (financially they are similar). The sex and chemistry apparently is great from what he told me, but I told him he should look for someone else. He's going to slowly be doing that perhaps this year because he wants an actual relationship with someone. Social circles matter especially hanging with people who are doing better than others financially because you tend to have similar discussions then.

 

[Ginomore]

We both no doubt enjoy the sex, and I’ve always thought the expectations and boundaries of each other had been established, but then every so often out of nowhere there is the outpouring of feelings and then I’m left feeling bad/guilty for having fucked her. I then always try to deflect and make light of the situation by telling her her deep feelings aren’t real and that I’m nothing special, but then the tears start flowing. Or we’d have conflict and I need remind her I’m not her bf. We’ve both had our own relationships during these times so I’m not sure why it can’t be as simple as hanging out, having sex and that’s it. I’m never ever going to shed tears for her even though I may care about her feelings. I’m actually surprised neither of us have end things yet. Her being an SP or former SP isn’t the issue preventing me of from ever wanting to have a real bf/gf relationship with her. Our lifestyles and social circles are simply too different.

She has turned your FWB situation into a real one without you realizing.
You should be using protection every time or you may be trapped in this relationship for the next 20 years.