Swallowing

massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
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My two biggest problems w CIM/SW are the seemingly needless extra risk to STIs which TBH benefits you guys a LOT if we don’t take them! And the fact that swallow is post orgasm, I don’t understand how this affects your orgasm/experience outside of psychologically in a way that feels subjugating/dominating when I might not be ok with this level of being your bitch prior to establishing that’s our vibe.

It’s a bit much to ask a lady to swallow TBH. I feel it’s way inappropriate when you don’t know one another and should always come from her deciding. I’m open to hearing other thoughts but this is my take on it. Hugs 🤗
Totally respect your thoughts on this, and never would question or push a woman’s boundaries, but wanted to give a guy’s experience.
As a guy who used to not really care much about bjs, then later didn’t care too much what she did with the results afterward I can offer at least one perspective. I only found CIM, and especially swallowing (and for that matter facials) a turn on when someone did it with me and really enjoyed it. Being with someone who is to turned on by you that she wants you, your cock, and your cum is a huge turn on. It’s not so much about dominance or her being your “bitch”. While it’s not talked about as much in guys as in women, psychological factors are huge in sexual enjoyment for us. You are right, it occurs after orgasm, but I’m sure all of us, men and women can think of things that occur immediately or shortly after we cum that either can make the experience and memory of it great, or alternatively make it worse or spoil it altogether.
Lastly, keep in mind, a lot of guys who participate in this world do so because they don’t get that feeling of being sexually attractive, being wanted etc in other spheres in life, and look for it here.
 
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Theredmilf

Ruby Lust, The Red MILF
Dec 9, 2016
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Ottawa / Gatineau
Totally respect your thoughts on this, and never would question or push a woman’s boundaries, but wanted to give a guy’s experience.
As a guy who used to not really care much about bjs, then later didn’t care too much what she did with the results afterward I can offer at least one perspective. I only found CIM, and especially swallowing (and for that matter facials) a turn on when someone did it with me and really enjoyed it. Being with someone who is to turned on by you that she wants you, your cock, and your cum is a huge turn on. It’s not so much about dominance or her being your “bitch”. While it’s not talked about as much in guys as in women, psychological factors are huge in sexual enjoyment. You are right, it occurs after orgasm, but I’m sure all of us, men and women can think of things that occur immediately or shortly after we cum that either can make the experience and memory of it great, or alternatively make it worse or spoil it altogether.
Lastly, keep in mind, a lot of guys who participate in this world do so because they don’t get that feeling of being sexually attractive, being wanted etc in other spheres in life, and look for it here.
I like your response here, it gives a lot to think about hmmm 🤔💭

I suppose my turnoff is not so much swallowing when it comes to it, I get the feeling you’re describing and sometimes it is nice, but being asked for this. I want to decide in the moment and to behave organically. I can’t promise some things ahead of time and one of them is our mutual chemistry. When a client gets too hung up on controlling my behaviour and small acts, I can’t act naturally and it becomes akward.

I appreciate this thread for opening my mind a little though and giving me another perspective. ❤
 

KittyCaterina

Kingston Gem
May 17, 2019
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You could always text her and politely ask if she'll SW for extra. If not then respect her decision. Years ago I met a SP who allowed CIM, but after would spit it out in the bathroom sink. And I have dated women who would allow CIM or not. They typically would tell me if they were into that or not and either way I'd respect their decision cause it wasn't a deal breaker. If I had to pick and choose CIM w/SW is my preference and there's plenty of other SPs out there that allow that. One of my ex's highly enjoyed CIM w/ SW and she highly advised eating a few fruits before going down on me since it makes the taste better compared to eating meat. And by that I don't mean eat something 5 mins before meeting someone. Eat a fruit like apple, strawberries or pineapple maybe an hour or so and you should be good. As for the comment about the pineapple juice or eating a fruit being wrong I personally have no clue, but an ex I had for years said fruits did make a difference or she could have been incorrect and it was all just a mental thing. Either way she was great at it and kept going even after swallowing. Good times lol.
She already made her decision and it should be respected.

Read his post, it says that she ALREADY told him in the beginning that she doesn't swallow.

TBH, I'm a little shocked at the members who are giving advice to offer extra cash, which is attempting to push a boundary she has already set.

By doing that, you are assuming we are so desperate and money hungry that we will do something we are not comfortable with for a few extra dollars.
And who knows, some sexworkers are in bad situations and will do something they are not comfortable with for extra cash and then you are just taking advantage of them.

This behaviour of offering extra money for an SW to break their set restrictions is not OK.
 

massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
4,642
3,194
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I like your response here, it gives a lot to think about hmmm 🤔💭

I suppose my turnoff is not so much swallowing when it comes to it, I get the feeling you’re describing and sometimes it is nice, but being asked for this. I want to decide in the moment and to behave organically. I can’t promise some things ahead of time and one of them is our mutual chemistry. When a client gets too hung up on controlling my behaviour and small acts, I can’t act naturally and it becomes akward.

I appreciate this thread for opening my mind a little though and giving me another perspective. ❤
💯

Can’t argue any of your points, as I suggested in my response to the OP. Better to let the flow of the session lead things. Going in with a shopping list of “menu items” makes it less comfortable/ natural, puts pressure on the provider and increases the chances of disappointment for the guy. But there are a lot of guys that go to to escorts to perform certain acts that are not otherwise available to them.
 

that6969

Member
Nov 18, 2024
42
61
18
In the beginning she said no. As a regular to her now who's to say she might let him if she's comfortable with him. People do change their minds. But if she's just not into swallowing then clearly the answer is no. If I was a reg to someone and they had certain restrictions I'd still politely ask just once. Some will do things for extra and some won't. If she wants to get mad at him or block him then it is what it is. If someone is a regular good client and they ask once more I'd reply back just saying no then blow up on them. There are SPs who have certain restrictions and have changed their minds to some reg clients. He doesn't even have to mention extra $$$ for the SW if he doesn't want to. Personally I see no harm in asking. Nobody is forcing any SP to do something they don't want to even for more $$$ that's their decision if they want to lift the restriction because they are comfortable with more $$$. Just ask and move on.

Edit: He said he seen her a few times; not a reg. My mistake. In this case I'd say don't even ask.
 

Riverrunner28

Well-known member
Apr 27, 2020
457
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Matt is still sitting at 1 Post in his Terb-life. I'm pretty sure he or she was just trolling as I pointed out 3 and a half hours after "their" first Post. It has been educational and extremely interesting however to read the diversity of opinions. I still have to stay with my original comment regarding .... she said she don't do that, so accept it or move on!
 

withpassion

Well-known member
Apr 6, 2012
1,476
212
63
Hmmm...I firmly believe that the need for swallowing is more about continuing the deed moreso the swallow.

For me, swallow is not important in the least, however, continuing throughout my orgasm, and a minute or two beyond is critical. Even if they must spit first and continue after, that works too.

Swallow could be a fetish for some, but not required for most given the provided continuation of the deed.

My 2 cents.
 

maurice93

Well-known member
Mar 29, 2006
5,929
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Nobody would come on here as a new member and suggest this lol. It's a troll thread for sure. If this person really likes her, and she stated in the original meeting that she doesn't do it, it's either a troll, or a bigger problem.

My guess is that its a current member. who doesn't want to out himself to a provider who he has complimented on a few occasions already on terb under his regular handle. Doesn't want to be recognized.

I don't think its a troll. There is lots of varied stuff posted here,- and I don't the question is extraordinarily wild in that realm.. except for the part about "I'll stay a regular if you do x" which is very inappropriate.
 

Peter485

Member
Jul 22, 2024
17
47
13
I don't really want to comment on what the guy should do. But I did want to comment on people minimizing the importance of swallowing. There are so many fetishes here, each one of them is pretty ridiculous to everyone else who isn't into them, and frankly each one has far more to do with intimacy and emotions than friction on the tip of the penis. Men ascribe importance to a huge array of things that have nothing to do with physical sensation.

For me, her swallowing shows an emotional connection between us. In my dating years I had lots of female friends. When we talked about whether they swallowed, nearly all of them said it depended on 'if I really like the guy'. For the girls that didn't normally swallow, they all admitted that there were some guys, or that one guy that really dialed them in, that they swallowed for without hesitation. Even the girls that found swallowing disgusting admitted to that one night, when they were really turned on with that special guy, when they just let it happen. Chat boards are filled with stories from cheating wives that end with 'it was so hot, I even swallowed and I haven't done that for years'. Even the girls who liked to swallow admit that when they stopped liking the guy and they knew the relationship was going to be over soon, they usually stopped swallowing.

For me, and I don't think I'm alone, her swallowing is her telling me that she really likes me, that I am special to her. And to be honest, I think most women are trying to communicate exactly that to the guy in those moments.
 

massman

Well-known member
Sep 8, 2001
4,642
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I don't really want to comment on what the guy should do. But I did want to comment on people minimizing the importance of swallowing. There are so many fetishes here, each one of them is pretty ridiculous to everyone else who isn't into them, and frankly each one has far more to do with intimacy and emotions than friction on the tip of the penis. Men ascribe importance to a huge array of things that have nothing to do with physical sensation.

For me, her swallowing shows an emotional connection between us. In my dating years I had lots of female friends. When we talked about whether they swallowed, nearly all of them said it depended on 'if I really like the guy'. For the girls that didn't normally swallow, they all admitted that there were some guys, or that one guy that really dialed them in, that they swallowed for without hesitation. Even the girls that found swallowing disgusting admitted to that one night, when they were really turned on with that special guy, when they just let it happen. Chat boards are filled with stories from cheating wives that end with 'it was so hot, I even swallowed and I haven't done that for years'. Even the girls who liked to swallow admit that when they stopped liking the guy and they knew the relationship was going to be over soon, they usually stopped swallowing.

For me, and I don't think I'm alone, her swallowing is her telling me that she really likes me, that I am special to her.
Similar to what I was saying (see post 25 above). Having said that, it’s a lot to ask of a stranger / almost stranger to fulfil that role, especially if swallowing a stranger’s cum is not something they are comfortable with.
 

CuddleBuddy2

Sensuality Seeker
May 20, 2018
571
598
93
If a provider offers CIM and not swallow, it likely has nothing to do with taste.
I am a CIM no swallow provider.
For myself, as I already taste the semen when CIM happens, my swallow restriction is for different reasons.

Offering extra cash for a restricted service is not OK and is terrible advice to give.
If it is a restricted service, it means they are not comfortable doing it.
Extra money won't automatically make them comfortable providing the service, they may just need the extra money or feel pressured.
So being pushy and attempting to have a provider cross her boundaries is a red flag.
Thank you for your insight. I agree it was bad advice on my part. I read the OP's post again and he said he had been hinting at it after the provider said no in the beginning. It would be in bad taste (no pun intended) to offer extra cash or to offer becoming a regular in exchange for a restricted service.

My initial bad advice was based on my false assumption that there are plenty of clients for all providers so it wasn't really like pressuring a provider. Your post made me realize that it is not the case for every provider.

Personally CIMSW doesn't turn me on or off. It was on my tdl and when I found a provider who offered it, it wasn't that great for me tbh. If a provider CIMSWed without asking, it would feel great but not something I look for anymore.

For me a provider's comfort takes precedence over my desires. Even when I'm asked if would like a CBJ/BBBJ during a session, I tell providers whatever they're comfortable with. I feel it usually makes for a better experience.

So yeah, OP please don't ask or offer more cash or hint about it anymore. It's not ok once a provider says she's not comfortable with something. Move on and find someone who's comfortable with the service you seek.
 

KittyCaterina

Kingston Gem
May 17, 2019
523
1,386
93
Kingston
www.kittycaterinaxo.com
Thank you for your insight. I agree it was bad advice on my part. I read the OP's post again and he said he had been hinting at it after the provider said no in the beginning. It would be in bad taste (no pun intended) to offer extra cash or to offer becoming a regular in exchange for a restricted service.

My initial bad advice was based on my false assumption that there are plenty of clients for all providers so it wasn't really like pressuring a provider. Your post made me realize that it is not the case for every provider.

Personally CIMSW doesn't turn me on or off. It was on my tdl and when I found a provider who offered it, it wasn't that great for me tbh. If a provider CIMSWed without asking, it would feel great but not something I look for anymore.

For me a provider's comfort takes precedence over my desires. Even when I'm asked if would like a CBJ/BBBJ during a session, I tell providers whatever they're comfortable with. I feel it usually makes for a better experience.

So yeah, OP please don't ask or offer more cash or hint about it anymore. It's not ok once a provider says she's not comfortable with something. Move on and find someone who's comfortable with the service you seek.
Thanks CuddleBuddy!

Many people would let ego interfere and double down on their original perspective so I always appreciate someone who can reread and take another opinion into consideration.

Many XOs to you!
 

Theredmilf

Ruby Lust, The Red MILF
Dec 9, 2016
583
1,079
93
Ottawa / Gatineau
I don't really want to comment on what the guy should do. But I did want to comment on people minimizing the importance of swallowing. There are so many fetishes here, each one of them is pretty ridiculous to everyone else who isn't into them, and frankly each one has far more to do with intimacy and emotions than friction on the tip of the penis. Men ascribe importance to a huge array of things that have nothing to do with physical sensation.

For me, her swallowing shows an emotional connection between us. In my dating years I had lots of female friends. When we talked about whether they swallowed, nearly all of them said it depended on 'if I really like the guy'. For the girls that didn't normally swallow, they all admitted that there were some guys, or that one guy that really dialed them in, that they swallowed for without hesitation. Even the girls that found swallowing disgusting admitted to that one night, when they were really turned on with that special guy, when they just let it happen. Chat boards are filled with stories from cheating wives that end with 'it was so hot, I even swallowed and I haven't done that for years'. Even the girls who liked to swallow admit that when they stopped liking the guy and they knew the relationship was going to be over soon, they usually stopped swallowing.

For me, and I don't think I'm alone, her swallowing is her telling me that she really likes me, that I am special to her. And to be honest, I think most women are trying to communicate exactly that to the guy in those moments.
Wow, I really had no idea swallowing was so emotionally powerful for you guys! This is kind of blowing my mind. I thought you were just wanting us to.be cum dumpsters lol so I guess I had it all wrong! Very interesting thread where I find myself agreeing across the board.

I will probably still not want to advertise or commit to this as a service and do prefer to decide organically if I’m feeling it, but you’ve given a lot of really valid and kinda sweet reasons for loving being swallowed which has moved my thinking!

I also agree that providers who don’t offer shouldn’t be pushed and this probably includes not asking and not trying with extra $$, we are well aware we can offer upgrades. But there remains a grey area of course where you’ve established rapport. A more suave approach would be to talk about things you love and your fantasies when prompted, including being swallowed. She will get the message and decide how to proceed or not.

Guys who love this, can you do a deep dive into researching how to make it yummier? You will catch more love with honey than turpentine as the saying goes. 😉
 
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