Be diligent

[bruised]

I, like many others, have been keeping my hobbying a secret. Recently, I let my guard down and realized I might not be as careful as I thought.

During a visit with a popular MA at a spa, everything seemed normal. After a great session, she noticed a lipstick mark on my shoulder and collar. Thankfully, she pointed it out, or I could have been in serious trouble. I quickly cleaned up and made sure my shirt went straight into the wash when I got home.

This experience made me realize I need to be more vigilant. What tips do you have to help keep others from getting caught?

 

[asuran]

I keep an extra set of clothing in my car.

 

[TacoDirty2Me]

Shaggy had a few good tips. You always could gas light your significant other into thinking they’re over reacting. Joking of course.

 

[Ganymede]

#1 thing to know is, if this a woman who you love, maybe have a family, etc, she knows brother… she knows.

Allow me to paint in broad strokes here. I’m not saying anything against you or anyone on here just commenting and hoping some guys can relate.

You think you’re doing a good job hiding everything but living in a web of lies does not last forever, you will slip up eventually. If she doesn’t know the full scope of what you’re doing she has a “feeling” something is off and you’re under a full blown investigation buddy. It’s not even physical evidence that can get you caught. It’s a change in pattern and behaviour which causes her to question things and it’s a slippery slope from there.

Anyway, here are some things you can try to not get caught:

1) Run so many errands. Just do the most, oh we need soil? I’ll go run out np. Also say you have a bi weekly boys night or something, you can easily repurpose that. For me the hardest part was to get time by myself outside the house.

2) Try to leave buffer room to shower and brush your teeth/tongue but don’t shower too much or look too scrubbed clean. Change of clothes with emergency toothbrush will work if you’re in a jam. This also depends on the session and what you’re doing with the provider, let’s just say - don’t get too carried away if there’s time constraints.

3) Two phones. Just safer that way. I strongly recommend this if you hobby frequently.

4) Get good at lying to your sweet baby angel. This is the worst but you have to get good at looking her in the face and say “ya baby Darryl says hi”.

5) Don’t catch feelings for these girls and go home to your wife. It’s one thing to dabble but don’t get caught up in the fantasy. it is not real. Your life is at home. This will help you from getting caught because it should be clear eyes full heart when you get home.

I’m now reading MysteryMeet’s post and ya do what he says, that’s way better. Much easier to just not lie and be a good person.

 

[ladyluva]

#1 thing to know is, if this a woman who you love, maybe have a family, etc, she knows brother… she knows.

Allow me to paint in broad strokes here. I’m not saying anything against you or anyone on here just commenting and hoping some guys can relate.

You think you’re doing a good job hiding everything but living in a web of lies does not last forever, you will slip up eventually. If she doesn’t know the full scope of what you’re doing she has a “feeling” something is off and you’re under a full blown investigation buddy. It’s not even physical evidence that can get you caught. It’s a change in pattern and behaviour which causes her to question things and it’s a slippery slope from there.

Anyway, here are some things you can try to not get caught:

1) Run so many errands. Just do the most, oh we need soil? I’ll go run out np. Also say you have a bi weekly boys night or something, you can easily repurpose that. For me the hardest part was to get time by myself outside the house.

2) Try to leave buffer room to shower and brush your teeth/tongue but don’t shower too much or look too scrubbed clean. Change of clothes with emergency toothbrush will work if you’re in a jam. This also depends on the session and what you’re doing with the provider, let’s just say - don’t get too carried away if there’s time constraints.

3) Two phones. Just safer that way. I strongly recommend this if you hobby frequently.

4) Get good at lying to your sweet baby angel. This is the worst but you have to get good at looking her in the face and say “ya baby Darryl says hi”.

5) Don’t catch feelings for these girls and go home to your wife. It’s one thing to dabble but don’t get caught up in the fantasy. it is not real. Your life is at home. This will help you from getting caught because it should be clear eyes full heart when you get home.

I’m now reading MysteryMeet’s post and ya do what he says, that’s way better. Much easier to just not lie and be a good person.

You covered just about all I was going to say lol

 

[ladyluva]

2 phones
Hobby during work hrs
Keep gym bag with Extra shirt and wipes etc
Cash is king
Turn off location on phone
If you have to do any email I don't recommend Gmail. Gmail shows history of where you visited and it's stored for years
Leave your second phone in the office or hidden in the truck
Use text apps on the second phone and uninstall the app when not using phone just incase

 

[Jabba]

Find a wife that doesn't have you running out to see other girls. I've had a few and when it gets stale or mundane and we don't enjoy each others company we part ways amicably. I'm old fashioned in the sense that family is first and foremost but why spend your life with someone who isn't the full package. And I'd rather not live each day knowing I am unfaithful. But that's just me, I have a conscience tbf.

Just curious - why are you on a forum like this one?

 

[marshman]

 

[KittyCaterina]

Find a wife that doesn't have you running out to see other girls. I've had a few and when it gets stale or mundane and we don't enjoy each others company we part ways amicably. I'm old fashioned in the sense that family is first and foremost but why spend your life with someone who isn't the full package. And I'd rather not live each day knowing I am unfaithful. But that's just me, I have a conscience tbf.

Your first sentence makes it sound like a simple task...
Although, apparently finding a wife that doesn't have you running out to see other girls is not an easy task considering you've had "a few" now.

If you were truly old-fashioned, you wouldn't have a few ex-wives.

Divorce for many is much more complicated than just parting ways amicably.

Just my opinion.

 

[Uncletim]

Interesting thread and one that’s been on my mind…I assume a majority of us are married. We have our our reasons for staying or leaving. How do any of you deal with the guilt if any?

 

[Adamfaye]

I mean we are men and never been about having a wife. We are still gonna have outside space for our instinct. Just try to be open and you may find someone open to other people.

 

[NadiaLovechanko]

I always say that this is slightly different than regular “cheating” as there is a set agreement in place and boundaries.

as much as we all don’t want it to be transactional it technically still is, you are paying for discretion and a fun time.

there is no “emotional” connection like if you went on a dating app, talked for a while then go on a couple dates then maybe sleep together

this is a business decision & relationship

yes sometimes lines get a bit blurred but at the end of the day a lot of the time it’s strictly scratching and itch

there will always be any type of guilt when it comes to things, we are all human with feelings. From checking out that girls ass as she runs by, eating that last piece of cake when you are on a diet, swerving into that last close parking spot infront of someone else. The thing is that you are safe, not risking your partners sexual health, get tested regularly and understand that if they ever found out or did the same that’s a risk you are taking.

maybe it’s just my mind set but sometimes seeing providers is what keeps marriages together & couples happy the amount of men who are married and come see and BRAG about how amazing thier wife is makes my heart so happy! Bc I know I am offering something that might be slightly lacking or just something different than what they are having at home, and that doesn’t mean they hate their lives.

Some people are happily married
Some people are unhappily married
Some people are exploring themselves
Some people are single

My advice; use email or Twitter to communicate, spare change of clothes, bring your own bodywash etc, get tested regularly, and know as providers we are never judging you on why you are coming to see us

For those who feel overly guilty and can’t sleep at night bc you do this, maybe take some time off reflect & therapy. We should all be having a fun time & be leaving with a smile on our faces after a good orgasm 🫡

 

[Mr_unknown]

I always say that this is slightly different than regular “cheating” as there is a set agreement in place and boundaries.

as much as we all don’t want it to be transactional it technically still is, you are paying for discretion and a fun time.

there is no “emotional” connection like if you went on a dating app, talked for a while then go on a couple dates then maybe sleep together

this is a business decision & relationship

yes sometimes lines get a bit blurred but at the end of the day a lot of the time it’s strictly scratching and itch

there will always be any type of guilt when it comes to things, we are all human with feelings. From checking out that girls ass as she runs by, eating that last piece of cake when you are on a diet, swerving into that last close parking spot infront of someone else. The thing is that you are safe, not risking your partners sexual health, get tested regularly and understand that if they ever found out or did the same that’s a risk you are taking.

maybe it’s just my mind set but sometimes seeing providers is what keeps marriages together & couples happy the amount of men who are married and come see and BRAG about how amazing thier wife is makes my heart so happy! Bc I know I am offering something that might be slightly lacking or just something different than what they are having at home, and that doesn’t mean they hate their lives.

Some people are happily married
Some people are unhappily married
Some people are exploring themselves
Some people are single

My advice; use email or Twitter to communicate, spare change of clothes, bring your own bodywash etc, get tested regularly, and know as providers we are never judging you on why you are coming to see us

For those who feel overly guilty and can’t sleep at night bc you do this, maybe take some time off reflect & therapy. We should all be having a fun time & be leaving with a smile on our faces after a good orgasm 🫡

Bravo!!! Very well said Nadia!

 

[sx4play]

Interesting thread and one that’s been on my mind…I assume a majority of us are married. We have our our reasons for staying or leaving. How do any of you deal with the guilt if any?

If the “cheating” isn’t a one off and one isn’t in an open relationship, it’s safe to say that one deals with it by feeling no guilt at all, or accepts that they are selfish and don’t truly respect or love the person that they are in a relationship with. The idea of saying one feels guilty is just an excuse to make oneself feel better. The choice to cheat is a conscious one. Nobody forces one to do so. It’s that lack of self control that makes one end up cheating. Understandably, none of us are perfect and we do all make mistakes we regret, but if one is honest with themselves, one doesn’t actually feel guilty when they engage in cheating. Otherwise, you simply wouldn’t act upon it.

 

[bruised]

We all have our reasons.

I'm mostly satisfied with my marriage, and my better half checks off more boxes than anyone I have ever met. A few years ago, her body had made up it's mind, and she and I have openly discussed that it's beyond her control. She has not been able to fulfill all of my needs, so I have decided what's right for me.

I am navigating my own complex and personal situation, trying balance my commitment to my marriage with my needs. Discretely seeing MAs is my way to meet my needs while also honoring my lady. For the time being, it'll be my secret and my way to maintain peace or avoid unnecessary pain. I'm comfortable with my choices. Every situation is different, and mine is my own. Peace.