...I don't even talk to this person, we work in a shared workspace, I have zero interest in her, and she's usually at least 20 to 50 meters away. She started ghosting me a few months ago for some unknown reason, I've tried to show professional courtesy to this person by greeting her but she's always skulking around, sometimes when I run into her it would be 2 in the afternoon. I'm not comfortable standing near her or without witness. Now I got a warning from the department manager for this "staring" bullshit, and apparently if she complains again there will be an HR investigation, and one of her buddies is willing to commit perjury because according to the manager "somebody else also noticed". Now it's 2 vs 1. Any advice what I should do? Thanks!
Falsely accused by ugly female colleague of inappropriate staring
- Thread starter Paprika
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She looking at your job? I would suggest looking for allies, especially female who hate her guts. There are always a few. The big thing is HR is not your friend. But your boss can be. Have a private sut down with them. Explain your side. If they are onboard next step is have them sit with you with HR. Explain calmly but clearly you have no interest. That will not engage in any way. Get documentation if you can.
Similar thing happened to me about 15 years ago. The woman was built like a brick shit house..i.e. definitely not my type..Way bigger than me (I was skinny back then). She was about 5'10 and 180 lbs and about 35 years old. Ok at her job but not great too but limited since she had no technical background and got through the ranks due to quotas etc. I had a head hunter contact me and offered me a consulting/contract role at a decent rate and I declined, I offered it to the colleague (she was a contractor) who inquired into the job and got told they were interested but the wage was about 25% less than what they offered me since she didn't have direct experience in that technology or any technology since she was more 'admin' type. Anyway, she got pissed off at me saying I lied about the salary on offer! She left the company and on her last day she made a complaint that I had been harassing her so my female boss told me. I was so angry that I told her to contact HR to have it investigated since there were cameras everywhere on our floor, parking lot etc. A month or so later my boss told me not to worry, HR investigated (I guess they checked all the footage from the cameras etc.) and said the woman was now banned/black balled from applying for work at the company again. She was not great at her job too - crying at her desk when the stress got to her, relying on female executives to give her favoritism just because she was female, quotas etc.
Just reading this post you are being so defensive and the fact you wrote "ugly colleague" proves your hurt and being revengeful
they can't prove shit, and I would say "funny I was going to come to you because I'm uncomfortable with the fact I noticed she's been staring at me".
She's a chick, youre a dude, she wins, end of story man, sorry
Unfortanately this is what happens these days.
Happens when companies hire for quotas not qualifications. Seen it happen at the company I used to work for.
Ask your company that if they believe her story to move you to another office, if possible.
Throw the complaint back at her. She makes you uncomfortable throwing accusations at you that aren't proven and feels like harassment.
Stop talking to her and just use email to communicate.
A few years ago, a woman accused one of our Jewish colleagues of racism.
Guys, be careful out there.
Guys, be careful out there.
She/they might argue:
"What is unconscious bias? Unconscious (or implicit) bias is a term that describes the associations we hold, outside our conscious awareness and control. Unconscious bias affects everyone. Unconscious bias is triggered by our brain automatically making quick judgments and assessments."
You might think you are not doing it but "unconscious bias".
Hmm my courtesy ends with Morning and Have A Good Night, I don't make comments about her appearance or even mention her name to others, but I did notice many instances of time theft, like going for break early, taking long breaks, or playing with cellphone.
Don't do it. If somebody else accuses you of something, she can be the star witness saying you made a sexually suggestive remark before.
Compliment beautiful women wherever, just not at work. Jerk off to their pictures and videos at home.
Sad thing is I have a female boss too and she's definitely not sympathetic towards any accusations against me, she's holed up in her own office 100 meters away, and rely solely on hearsay, and she's reopening old wounds by bringing up issues that had been resolved several years ago, completely unrelated, and telling me not to "get back at people" while others make up bullshit.
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None of us know what actually happened. The only ones that know the truth are the OP, and the ugly woman.
Best thing you can do is walk away and 0 contact. If contact is required via email, cc a female and male higher up so they are aware of the conversation;
if in public, make sure there is a witness.
This is a toxic workplace. Escape while you are still alive.
BTW: I had a female boss once. She had 4 direct reports. 3 males and 1 female. She was actually very supportive of her male subordinates. I think there is a competition among females for male attention.
BTW: I had a female boss once. She had 4 direct reports. 3 males and 1 female. She was actually very supportive of her male subordinates. I think there is a competition among females for male attention.
I hate the work place these days with quotas for the unqualified, woke policies and nasty people (they've always been there) who will shit on colleagues to get ahead. Am glad I've only got 5 years or so before I retire. Sounds like you should find another job...is that a possibility ?
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