Most people DON'T WANT RELATIONSHIPS: understanding the decline in romantic relationships..... thoughts?
- Thread starter angrymime666
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I take fishing seriously so I ban my friends from coming up to my cottage when i have my boat out...so they usually visit late afternoon and leave the next day...LoL...
My one GF screamed bloody murder when she caught her first bass. You would have thought it was a horror movie being filmed. I nearly pissed my pants laughing to hard.
can’t pass up the chance for those types of experiences. LOL
but then I have plenty of time to fish alone too when I want.
Here is my thing -
What is the purpose of a relationship? For companionship???? Does that mean the only type of companionship fulfillment one can have is if they are romantically involved with the person???? That seems somewhat limiting.
To grow old with someone - I ask why? Why does one NEED to grow old with someone? Is it to have someone to care for you when you are old? Well that is not exactly fair. Having cared for people at the end, it is not easy.
To procreate? Ok this one I get. I mean it is not the only way to build and maintain a family but I get this one. My question is - when the procreations is done, if the relationship between the parents doesn’t work out - why do they individually have to go find another one. If they don’t plan of having anymore kids, what do they need the relationship for?
I am not saying I would say no if someone truly came into my life that I naturally develop those feelings for. I mean I say I won’t but I would. However - I’m not actively going out and looking for it. I’m happy being single and it would take a lot for me to change all that and make a life long commitment.
What is the purpose of a relationship? For companionship???? Does that mean the only type of companionship fulfillment one can have is if they are romantically involved with the person???? That seems somewhat limiting.
To grow old with someone - I ask why? Why does one NEED to grow old with someone? Is it to have someone to care for you when you are old? Well that is not exactly fair. Having cared for people at the end, it is not easy.
To procreate? Ok this one I get. I mean it is not the only way to build and maintain a family but I get this one. My question is - when the procreations is done, if the relationship between the parents doesn’t work out - why do they individually have to go find another one. If they don’t plan of having anymore kids, what do they need the relationship for?
I am not saying I would say no if someone truly came into my life that I naturally develop those feelings for. I mean I say I won’t but I would. However - I’m not actively going out and looking for it. I’m happy being single and it would take a lot for me to change all that and make a life long commitment.
I’m a particular type of introvert, on steroids. I typically don’t get overwhelmed when at social functions, amongst crowds as a lot of introverts do ( those with Empathy ).But I absolutely need to distance myself from people periodically. The further the better, the more isolated the better.
Using broad brush strokes men need relationships more than women. A lot of couples get divorced in the 40/50s. Men will seek out another LTR, marriage. A lot of women are quite to content to remain single thereafter.
Using broad brush strokes men need relationships more than women. A lot of couples get divorced in the 40/50s. Men will seek out another LTR, marriage. A lot of women are quite to content to remain single thereafter.
There’s days I want to be on the water with friends. There’s days I need to be on the water, just me and my dog. Thankfully I live on water. I avoid fishing most weekends. Too many stinky, rude, Crotch rockets and others that think they own the lake humans.My one GF screamed bloody murder when she caught her first bass. You would have thought it was a horror movie being filmed. I nearly pissed my pants laughing to hard.
can’t pass up the chance for those types of experiences. LOL
but then I have plenty of time to fish alone too when I want.
Depends Jenesis.
Some people need co-dependent relationships. Others want/need a relationship that has intimacy but is more like two adults. Free to live their own lives, but are not “free”. If that makes sense.
Oh I get that and I should dismiss those who need but those are more for dependency reasons than free choice reasons. Just like some escorts like me choose to do this and others have to in order to survive. Same profession different reasons. So I guess my question was more to those who seem to think that all people need relationships to be fulfilled. That you are somehow lacking if you don’t have one. I see it on SM all the time. Men who choose to be single are either label misogynists or incels. And women are creamy cat ladies with jaded attitudes.
Some people are fulfilled with a relationship . But I just think it is limiting when you think companionship can only come from a romantic partner and that intimacy can only occur in a LTR.
interesting perspective...
I guess it comes down to how invested a person wants to be with another. what value to they bring?
people typically do not like to share when it comes to something they highly value. sexual access to a partner, financial access.
call it the romantic in me but familiarity and someone knowing all your dirt and accepting you with all your dirt/skeletons. I can quite put words to it but its the one thing that keeps me on the fence. someone you can rely on who will have your back.
I would guess its a desire not to be alone or lonely.
I get what your saying. your life is happy and chill with no waves. having a partner means they could make your life more difficult since they will never be exactly on the same page as you. they are an individual and make individual decisions which may effect their life which in turn effects your life in an outcome that would cause instability or unexpected consequences on to you.
its a shame since I always envisions a little house on the prairie life... who am I kidding lol
You said so emotionally and socially dysfunctional ... and not by choice... with a skewed image of themselves. Simply preferring to be by oneself does not mean someone is "emotionally and socially dysfunctional"... some people are just wired differently. We all have our preferences and tolerances for different things - being with someone (whatever it may be, friend or romantic) is part of it too. This is something that cannot be proved in this context of course - you will believe what you believe simply because it's natural to believe all humans require copious amounts of love or attention or whatever it is. Meanwhile I was trying to say that since I'm getting burned out on even simple friendship / family relationships that having to spend a large amount of time with someone else in a romantic context is not something I'm willing to do for my own sanity. Now... I also said I work a job requiring a lot of social finesse.... so it's possible I may be using up all my 'social' energy just by working and when I retire I may feel differently, for now though I'm happy where I am. I know it's against the norm, but I'm just not sure that it's right to claim broadly that people who choose to be by themselves are "dysfunctional".
One can be alone and not be lonely, meanwhile someone can go from romantic relationship to relationship and feel alone and miserable the entire time. As long as you know where you're at and are happy with it, then that's that
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"I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..." - Einstein
