"my problem to judge someone else self identifying as whatever they want"
Really? Then you MUST be ok with bulimics self identifying as fat and have no issue with cutters self harming? Let them do what they want. You do realize the chop-logic you're using right?
"you view this as a power structure. "
Wow. You don't see it that way? Some - not all of course but some nen would never never EVER pretend to be women in order to gain access to their sex-based spaces? This is your argument? We should pull down all the gates protecting women & children because some men's feelings over-ride that of women? Huh.
Women have been sharing their spaces and accepting transwomen as sisters for decades without a problem. But
with SelfID the trans community have let a wolf into their homes and by extension into their spaces. In order to keep women’s protections you have to gatekeep somewhere. It’s either at every refuge, changing room etc,
or it’s removing SelfID. Trans is not the problem,
it’s removing the gate.
"You need to accept them"
Really? We need to accept all of them? Really? Even the most
obvious trans-tenders? Those in children's change rooms who were men mere months ago? Rapists that want to go to women's prisons? We need to accept the ideology that causes young teen girls to chop off their breasts, take T which sterilizes them? Is this the inclusivity that you're arguing for? Or should we recognize and call out the extremists that are causing problems for the 'real' trans. Oh wait, it's not a power structure so this doesn't exist right?
Of COURSE we can't be critical without being 'phobic'. One can be inclusive and caring without being foolish.