From a young age;
When you cry you get told to toughen up by adults.
When you cry you get picked on and beaten by bullies.
When you cry you get called weak by girlfriends who expect their man to be manly.
As a man you do not get an emotional support network. You have no one to talk to, to let all that out. So what do you do? You eat it, you burry it, deep inside and never let it see the light of day because you're 95% sure if you show it you will get shit on, as usual.
And it becomes extremely lonely. Even IF you have relationships.
Many of us go for escort services because we are touch starved, some of us don't even realize it and think it's just for the sex, because sex is touch.
Hell I've seen women go online asking for advice thoroughly confused because they touched their guy in a certain way and the guy started bawling uncontrollably. That's how badly we're made to isolate ourselves.
Combine that with growing cases of mental illness mounting societal pressure, indoctrination from violent groups and at some point something has to give.
So what happens? Violence, inflicted on others or inflicted on oneself. The easier the access to tools of violence the more of it there is. But even without that access look at suicide stats, women do it more, but men succeed more, why? because men choose violent means to end things.
I would not put rape into this however, rape as you said is about power and it's calculated, rapists aren't human to begin with.