I’m late to this thread and, wish I’d seen it sooner. I am physically disabled and despite efforts and hopes to avoid such, I live on Ontario disability. I keep hearing this notion that…it’s always $1,500 a month. I can say…mine is considerably less than that and I’m a full time wheelchair user. Anyway…firstly I think it important to say…not ALL disabled people are on support. There ARE greater opportunities now to gain the kind of employment and income needed to cover all the added costs and concerns that come with and from, life with a disability. This is not to say it’s a straight path. A lot has to go exactly right, and you need to find a willing and open minded employer who sees the potential and not, risk or added costs etc. This is improving too but more could be done. I’m not that old, and things didn’t align as needed when I was in school so, yes I went on support. I always thought it would be temporary. The longer you’re on it though, the more aspects of your life it involves. It’s never been about the cash in hand…that’s shit. It’s much more that while on support, your rent is lower, your chair repairs are covered, and most equipment you need is funded. This can be thousands a year. I’ve always believed there should be levels to it. If you land a great job that will give you a salary that covers everything…you’re on your own. If you find work that you can live on but you need help with disability related costs, that should be funded. However, it’s largely on the system or, off.
As for the topic of sex work and using such services in a fixed income, it’s complex. I have Cerebral Palsy and while I’ve enjoyed a rich social life and a great degree of acceptance and integration, sexual intimacy has been much harder to find. I’m a good looking, intelligent, capable man. Yet I’ve encountered and still encounter fear and misconceptions around my sexual ability. Most often, I am written off intimately. P
when I started using services, I was 26. It wasn’t a hobby nor was a particularly delighted to go that route. I felt, and still feel sometimes, that it’s like saying….this is my only option. I so badly wanted a different reality. I’m 48 now, and if I’m honest….these sessions ARE my only option. I have no non platonic or sexual life beyond them.
I’m not so slowly being priced out of the industry. Even now, it takes saving and planning to even approach being able to book. Now, before anyone says it, I realize I’m not alone in that. We all make choices and sacrifices.
I’m no angel. Sometimes I just want a hot time with a beautiful woman. Most times though, it’s about much more than the obvious. Even just contact and that closeness is nice.
In my time, I’ve met and been with some extraordinary women. People who understand me, my situation, and my motivations beyond simple gratification. Some used a sliding rate scale, others sometimes offered a specific arrangement. That’s become more rare now and even when it did come…it was usually born over a bond built rather than an expectation or request.
I’ve tried simply going without. Sometimes life dictates that regardless. However I know…that even if it’s less often, an hour with the right person not only helps me, but adds to my quality of life. . I say to anyone who NEEDS these services for more complex reasons, know that this is a business first. However I’ve found If you build relationships and never ASK for special consideration, but are open and kind…you never know what can unfold. It’s rare, not impossible.
www.sbs.com.au
