Reddit thread - I slept with my girlfriends mom 2 years ago.

[Jasmina]

Yes, to be clear, I don't think he did anything wrong in this scenario. But if he proceeds with gf and Mum comes clean one day THAT will come back to bite him on the ass.

If mom wants it secret, it stays secret.

It’s not like the guy cheated, or even knew she was married. So he there is no reason for him to feel bad on his end.

 

[Bagilson]

This is simple. Speak no more of what happened between you and the mom and let the relationship with the daughter take its course.

 

[oil&gas]

The guy can make the relation with the mum more exciting by
marrying his GF. Only in a marriage in heaven can the husband
sleep with both the wife and his mother in law.

 

[JackBurton]

You jokey your cards right you can try a new car out of this with the right leverage.

 

[y2kmark]

So let me first just say, I’m not the one in the wrong for this but I have to say it somewhere. It’s eating me alive

2 years ago when I was 19 I met this woman while I was working as a personal trainer. She was in her 40s and looked like a 25 year old. She took an interest in me and invited me out a number of times and we had sex a few times. After one of our meet ups she said it was wrong for someone of her age to be with me because I was to young and changed gyms.

My girlfriend and I have been together for just under a year. She’s amazing and I love her so much. 2 months ago I met her family for the first time and it was a shock. Like she took me to the house where i had hooked up with a woman and I felt like I was being pranked.

Before I see her mom it hits me. I have a type and they both fit that type so it make sense, I’ve been hooking up with a single mom and I’m now with her daughter. Then her mom and dad pop out and we both almost shit ourselves. i meet her parents, they’ve been married for 20 years, I realize I had been a married woman’s boy toy, I feel incredibly ashamed.

Later that week her mom finds my number and tells me that I can never speak of what happened. She says that my girlfriend will hate me forever because I’ll be the one who broke up her parents. So now I’m stuck keeping this secret.

She invited me to spend thanksgiving and with her family and since my family is 1000 miles away and I already told her I don’t plan on going home I don’t really have an excuse to not go. So now I’m going to have to sit there at a table and enjoy thanksgiving dinner with the woman I had an affair with, her husband, and her daughter whom I am now in love with.

I’m fucked.

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What would you do if this was you?

Personally, I would tell the GF. The whole thing is fucked and probably not going to last now anyway, so I wouldn’t keep it in. I would tell the GF and let her deal with her family.

What would y’all do?

A really full figured boy toy???

 

[rhuarc29]

I don't see the big deal. He wasn't the one who had the affair, nor did he know she was married.
Momma shouldn't be setting conditions for him though. Should be less demanding, and instead more pleading, and not talk about how it affects him, but how it'd affect her.
It's up to him how he wants to handle this. Personally, I'd keep quiet, but that could always backfire if the mom has a break of conscience and admits the whole thing, screwing him over.

 

[Jenesis]

A really full figured boy toy???

Lol. That’s kinda funny.

In all honesty though, I feel bad for the guy. He was used and now he has found someone he really loves and is stuck in this mess he didn’t cause.

The mom is the one who should suffer for this. Not only because of the affair or for using him but for the threats as well. He doesn’t know how his GF would react but to put on him that it would be his fault the family broke up is beyond bullshit.

 

[kherg007]

Tough one. First, he's not the ratbag here. How was he to know?
Second, the daughter is innocent.
Third, mum is the ratbag.
OK, so what to do? I think the commentators covered all the possibilities. Keep quiet. He does not have to disclose all his former partners to the gf, correct?
The big danger that was pointed out and i agree with is MUM confessing. Then he's done through and through. If he confesses, he might be seen as breaking up the family. Let them learn on their own.

Thus...I've talked myself into thinking he should work his way out of the relationship with the daughter. Maybe try the George costanza - ask the daughter if she'd consider a menage a trois w mum. She'd dump him immediately lol.
However, upon further review, that would be a bad idea because mum might think he confessed his dalliance w mum to the daughter. Thus..instead ask daughter to have a menage w some other woman. A win-win. A breakup or a duo. Lol.

 

[Jenesis]

Ya - I’m beginning to think that breaking up for a different reason is the best. Which is sad because he did nothing wrong and loves this girl.

What should happen is mom should be ratted on and left in the cold while he, dad and GF have Thanksgiving without mom.