many married men here see escorts as sex therapist to maintain their marriage because wife cannot fulfill sexual intimacy need for whatever reasons. But I wonder if any married men here actually pay to see relationship therapist to maintain and improve marriage? Reason I ask is because my wife is seeing a relationship therapist right now but this relationship therapist is giving her ideas to re-evaluate her own core needs in the marriage and now she is questioning whether our marriage will work out for long term. We don't have kids yet but have some financial ties. So I booked an appointment with a relationship therapist to see for myself, dunno what to expect. Just wondering if other married men thoughts about relationship therapist ?
what is your thought about seeing relationship therapist?
- Thread starter coolmanfever
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Depends on if she is hot and how much she charges for one session.
If you have problems relating isn't seeking a therapist just one more relationship you have to worry about?
It's a really good idea.
Most people won't go to one until things are REALLY bad, though. (Which is sort of Robert Mugabe's point.)
If you think things are still salvageable, then go. Tell her you're going as well.
Figure out between the two of you if couples therapy makes sense (it might be that just both of you doing individual work is fine).
It's work.
And they may well say the kind of thing Robert Mugabe got - "this is a lost cause, you should go".
Go in honest, try not to be defensive. The therapist isn't reporting back to your wife.
Try to have an open mind. It may do nothing for you, but don't go in trying to find a reason to reject it.
Most people won't go to one until things are REALLY bad, though. (Which is sort of Robert Mugabe's point.)
If you think things are still salvageable, then go. Tell her you're going as well.
Figure out between the two of you if couples therapy makes sense (it might be that just both of you doing individual work is fine).
It's work.
And they may well say the kind of thing Robert Mugabe got - "this is a lost cause, you should go".
Go in honest, try not to be defensive. The therapist isn't reporting back to your wife.
Try to have an open mind. It may do nothing for you, but don't go in trying to find a reason to reject it.
Well. I definitely will want to go in with open mind and but honest and authentic. But the dillemma I have is whether I should reveal to the individual therapist that I am seeing escort?
Yes. They wont tell your partner and they can't help you if you aren't being completely up front.
Therapists are very underrated. Mind is the most important "muscle" in your body and yet very few seek help when it's needed.
If things aren't working out in your relationship, work, friendships - it might be manifestation of something bigger happening inside of you.
I started seeing a therapist during my dark days, when I couldn't get out of bed at times. Life felt like shit, relationship felt like a trap etc. I had a good therapist who knew the right questions to ask. Had me reevaluate my life, my perceptions, my goals and so on. It's been a few years and to this day I'm grateful for our sessions.
It may or may not save your relationship, but it should improve your overall state of mind.
If things aren't working out in your relationship, work, friendships - it might be manifestation of something bigger happening inside of you.
I started seeing a therapist during my dark days, when I couldn't get out of bed at times. Life felt like shit, relationship felt like a trap etc. I had a good therapist who knew the right questions to ask. Had me reevaluate my life, my perceptions, my goals and so on. It's been a few years and to this day I'm grateful for our sessions.
It may or may not save your relationship, but it should improve your overall state of mind.
I agree with Jasmina but you don't necessarily have to reveal everything up front right away.
There is trust involved and you can spend some time working to what you are comfortable with.
My SO and I were having relationship issues and she suggested therapy to resolve our problems.
We initially saw our male therapist separately, I saw him after my wife, who thoroughly charmed him.
As I opened up to him, he could not understand why I could not be utterly and completely in love with my wife. At one point he actually stifled a yawn as I talked about my issues.
Fuck me, what a complete waste of time. Anyway, we resolved our problems by kicking the can down the road and yes they are still there.
We initially saw our male therapist separately, I saw him after my wife, who thoroughly charmed him.
As I opened up to him, he could not understand why I could not be utterly and completely in love with my wife. At one point he actually stifled a yawn as I talked about my issues.
Fuck me, what a complete waste of time. Anyway, we resolved our problems by kicking the can down the road and yes they are still there.
It seemed to me like something that might be really helpful when used as preventative maintenance. Like, not just during the less than good times.
It definitely helped hasten my separation.
So,
It definitely helped hasten my separation.
So,
Thanks for all the inputs. Sounds like feeling for relationship therapist is mixed here for those who tried. But I guess I will go see a therapist individually with open mind.
The way I see it is that I already spend at least $160 for HH with a sp as sex therapist, so why not use that as my hobby fund and time to see a individual relationship therapist to have a better mental health.
My wife finally learned that she really need to truly love herself before she can love other after see her own therapists. I see her happier every day so indirectly my life is happier. That is why I don't mind giving a try.
The way I see it is that I already spend at least $160 for HH with a sp as sex therapist, so why not use that as my hobby fund and time to see a individual relationship therapist to have a better mental health.
My wife finally learned that she really need to truly love herself before she can love other after see her own therapists. I see her happier every day so indirectly my life is happier. That is why I don't mind giving a try.
The first day I met my therapist she looked like a complete nerd, but she was most definitely hot, the second time I saw her she looked like a fucking smoke show, legs cleavage makeup , so of course I thought oh my fucking God, "she wants to fuck me". ( shallow Hal ) lol
Now I am leaving out tons of info here because my personal shit is personal.
After several visits I began telling her about my sexual needs with escorts, she was timid but interested in the details like what would motivate me to be so into certain fetishes. Often I could see her turn beet red and start shifting in her chair. She couldn't hide her reactions. This became a real turn on for me and often I would get a boner talking with her and have to do some shifting of my own. One day I told her my greatest sexual attraction is towards towards slim brunettes with blue eyes and she just happened to fit that description, go figure, that was probably our most awkward but sexually charged session, lots of fumbling with her pen turning pages fumbling her words lol.
Long story short about six months in I finally had sex with my therapist at her condo however she wouldn't see me professionally anymore.
Probably in my top ten hottest sexual experiences.
So yes, go see a therapist.
Oh and yes I know this sounds like BS.
Now I am leaving out tons of info here because my personal shit is personal.
After several visits I began telling her about my sexual needs with escorts, she was timid but interested in the details like what would motivate me to be so into certain fetishes. Often I could see her turn beet red and start shifting in her chair. She couldn't hide her reactions. This became a real turn on for me and often I would get a boner talking with her and have to do some shifting of my own. One day I told her my greatest sexual attraction is towards towards slim brunettes with blue eyes and she just happened to fit that description, go figure, that was probably our most awkward but sexually charged session, lots of fumbling with her pen turning pages fumbling her words lol.
Long story short about six months in I finally had sex with my therapist at her condo however she wouldn't see me professionally anymore.
Probably in my top ten hottest sexual experiences.
So yes, go see a therapist.
Oh and yes I know this sounds like BS.
Marriage is tough. I was in a 25 marriage that ended. It was my fault it ended, and I lost a good woman. Not a perfect woman, but a darn good one.
I don’t know your situation, but my perspective is…. Most people approach counselling with the attitude of what their partner puts them through. Both my ex and I did that early on. Not productive at all. Some therapists will side with one or the other. My ex actually changed therapists a few times until we found one who sided with her. It got to be a game. Who could paint a bleaker picture of the other and win sympathy.
However…. It should not be that way. Nobody is perfect. And when you examine one’s life, patterns emerge. People often make the same mistakes in life over and over and over again… there are reasons why we do that.
(As an example) instead of understanding that when a parent walked out of your life when you were a kid it created abandonment issues, and now leaving a shitty abusive relationship is impossible for you…. You justify your bad repetitive decisions.
Long story short…. I sought individual counselling to fix me. I had depression, was angry as fuck, would explode over dumb shit, and didn’t want to be that guy anymore. It helped tremendously.
Good luck on fixing someone else. You can only fix you.
I don’t know your situation, but my perspective is…. Most people approach counselling with the attitude of what their partner puts them through. Both my ex and I did that early on. Not productive at all. Some therapists will side with one or the other. My ex actually changed therapists a few times until we found one who sided with her. It got to be a game. Who could paint a bleaker picture of the other and win sympathy.
However…. It should not be that way. Nobody is perfect. And when you examine one’s life, patterns emerge. People often make the same mistakes in life over and over and over again… there are reasons why we do that.
(As an example) instead of understanding that when a parent walked out of your life when you were a kid it created abandonment issues, and now leaving a shitty abusive relationship is impossible for you…. You justify your bad repetitive decisions.
Long story short…. I sought individual counselling to fix me. I had depression, was angry as fuck, would explode over dumb shit, and didn’t want to be that guy anymore. It helped tremendously.
Good luck on fixing someone else. You can only fix you.
