Then came Jessica Hahn, and Jim under a desk, curled up in a fetal position when the Feds came to take him away. Then came the novelty songs. I had no luck finding an audio track on the net for this Danny and the Quayles song, but here are the lyrics:
Keep It in Your Pants, Jim Bakker
Well lately, every time I watch the evening news or read the paper,
I hear about somebody else who's sleeping with Jim Bakker.
They say that he has had himself all kinds of sexual joys,
A secretary, a prostitute, and a couple of choir boys.
Well it appears to me, Jimmy, things haven't worked out well,
You've had yourself a lot of fun, but you lost the P.T.L.
Well only you know, Jimmy, why you do the things you do,
But if you don't mind listenin', here's some advice for you:
Chorus 1
Keep it in your pants, Jimmy, get down and praise the Lord
You can't be pullin' out that thing whenever you get bored
Keep it in your pants, Jimmy, get on your knees and pray
And when you get a woody, take it home to Tammy Faye
Well, Jim, we know that you think you deserve a second chance,
But how can we believe you with that big bulge in your pants.
You've had us send you money to help fulfill your dreams,
But how were we to know what you were dreamin' was obscene?
Well you said, "Come out to Heritage: you can pray and you can shop",
But how were we to know we had to bring a wife to swap?
Well you say that you are sorry, that your sinnin' days are through,
Well there's just one way to prove it, here's what you've gotta do.
(Chorus 1 reprise)
Well Jim we're gonna miss you and your ever-weepin' wife,
Did she really put her make-up on with a putty knife?
We know that your unhappy and you think that you're a flop,
But who knows maybe someday we'll see you back on top.
(Well that's how this whole thing got started!)
Chorus 2:
Keep it in your pants, Jimmy, get down and praise the Lord,
You can't be pullin' out that thing whenever you get bored.
Keep it in your pants, Jimmy, and mend your evil ways,
The next time you climb into bed, make sure it's Tammy Faye's.
Chorus 3:
Keep it in your pants, Jimmy, and mend your evil ways,
The next time you climb into bed, make sure it's Tammy Faye's.
Keep it in your pants, Jimmy, get on your knees and pray,
And when you get a woody, take it home to Tammy Faye-aye-aye.
Amen!
Keep It in Your Pants, Jim Bakker
groups.google.com
and this one:
