My own view is that we’re actually in a decent holding pattern right now where, despite the legal threat hovering, most police forces are taking hands off approach with very few charges being laid. So the best way to create more safety is on a voluntary basis, to connect with those who are safe. We need more supports & community among SWs to help improve things and fair practices on both sides.
Thank you, Theredmilf. I wasn't going to say it until somebody else did, given the strong opinions on this board, but the truth is that the more I think of things the more I am in favour of keeping the status quo, at least until such time as something drastically changes.
It's not so much that I think the status quo is an ideal arrangement as my firm belief that the law is no remedy. I see no realistic pathway where changes in law and bureaucracy lead to a better experience other than in some imagined utopia where visiting SPs will be like going to the dentist (lol!) with your employer no doubt providing insurance coverage for SP services and you telling your boss over a beer after work how your last appointment went. This is not going to happen.
What will actually happen in reality is one of two circumstances, depending on which political party crafts the laws…
On the right, we have your Bible-beating church-moms who would change the law to put us all in the stocks if they could. There's not much hope that more illegality makes things better for anybody. And don't forget, the church-going right-wing types hate Johns every bit as much as they dislike providers, if not more.
And on the left, we have clients barely able to afford visiting an SP more than once or twice a year and shelling out $500-1000 for the privilege of licking a plastic dental dam, with providers constantly harassed by the ever-shifting requirements of some panel of faceless bureaucrats. Don't forget that the stigma against clients will also not evaporate the moment it is legalised. You really think you'll get to keep your job teaching little kids at the local private school after Superintendent Spineless finds out from shrieking parents at the PTA meeting that you're visiting legal brothels? Do you honestly think you'll be invited to the next church picnic after being outed as a John? Guess again.
It is tempting to think otherwise, being as we are within our terb bubble, but the outside world looks down on men who pay for sex. While some within the mainstream public might view providers with some measure of disgust, such views are in the aggregate tempered with equal parts pity and even some concern. We, on the other hand, are simply viewed as predators. Just look to the law as it currently stands: criminalizing our behaviour, but not that of providers. Frankly, polite society wishes that people like us didn't exist at all. Opening up our lifestyle choices to broader scrutiny from the public will not likely lead to anything good for clients, and very mixed results at best for providers.
I've spoken before about how the illegality of our acts makes us prey to blackmail. This is and remains true. But it also true that criminal convictions are rare, and police are not out enforcing this law, at least not under the Trudeau government. What we have now is a sort of detente of constantly negotiated comprises between clients and providers. Some providers ask for verification and some ask for deposits, while some do not, each according to their comfort level, risk tolerance, and their individual circumstances. Clients who do not wish to provide such details visit providers who do not require it, or provide a reference as an alternative. Self-regulating organizations such as OIC are free to appear in order to provide safety and screening for some, but such organisations are entirely voluntary for providers and no one is forced to do or join anything they don't want to. Nobody is entirely satisfied, but nobody is entirely dissatisfied either. Prices are affordable, and services are not regulated by some grim panel of medical "experts". I'm afraid to say it, but this is likely the best we're going to get in the near to medium term. In the meantime, we should all do our best to support grass-roots efforts by people like Theredmilf to improve their industry from within, without poking the ever-present hornet's nest of mainstream society.
For those who are in favour of decriminalisation stopping just short of full legalisation, understand that while this would definitely present a better version of the present status quo which I would actually be in favour of in principle, I don't see a way to get there. I could be wrong, but I believe such a change in the law would probably only occur against a greater societal backdrop of larger efforts to control and regulate the industry, where full legalisation and bureaucratisation would also be on the table alongside mere decriminalisation. Given society's rather ambivalent and in some ways hostile attitude towards clients, and their somewhat patronising and pitying stance towards providers, decisions will no doubt be made to the detriment of all. If you think a broader "reopening of the books" on sex laws will make your SP experience better, you better think again. Ask for change, and you will certainly get it. As many a wise man once said: be careful what you wish for! I for one have no desire to see society's moral microscope aimed in our direction yet again.
