Hello, children.
I want to thank you and I want to thank your fine principal, for hearing me out.
I take plants and I process them into goo.
I am a goo man.
I have factories all over the country.
I have trucks right now loaded with goo that can be here within the week.
The goo I speak of can be made into anything.
It can be made into tacos.
It can be made into hot dogs.
And I promise you that none of your students will know the difference.
I would very much like to be the plant-based meat vendor for your school.
I would like to be the plant-based meat vendor for your town.
I'm a simple family man and a vegetarian.
I would like the opportunity to make you all vegetarians as well.
And I thank you.