Sexy Friends Toronto

What's your story for seeing an SP or being in this hobby?

SoftHands813

Casual Observer
Jan 2, 2008
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Married young. We had barely started building a life together when she was taken tragically. Shattered my heart. Then came the pills. Once I cleaned up my act, I tried dating again, only to have my heart broken again and again. Turned to sex workers as I had no heart left.

Someone has recently come into my life who has started making me think life is worth living again. The chemistry is great, and she has a heart of gold, but her communication skills are sh*t. I don't know - maybe heartless hobbying is better at my age.
 
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lessjamie7

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2013
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Ok. I get outsourcing. That is fine. Nothing wrong with having your partner agreed to that.

It becomes cheating when it is done in secret. Something the partner left in the dark will say.

Again, no judgement. I understand the need for sex and think that partners who don’t want it anymore should let their spouse outsource it but facts are facts and for now, when you step outside of the relationship without your partner knowing, it is cheating.
Having to make the statement that you are not judging, ironically, is pointing out that you are.

LJ
 

Coolsin000

LEGENDARY
Apr 21, 2019
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See I have found that men are actually less open minded. They are ok with having sex outside of the relationship but they are not ok the woman doing it. Even when the guy is getting sex.

I was in a relationship eons ago and I was taking care of my ill mother. I told him I was not available as much so he should find someone else. He insisted he didn’t need to. I expressed that I didn’t want to be losing a mother and BF at the same time and that I took relationships seriously. Especially my part. Since I can’t do my part, I would understand him stepping out.

He did step out but lied about it. Then 3 days after my mother’s death, he broke up with me. Finally telling me he has been dating other women and after a first date the night before, he had a good feeling about her. He didn’t want to jeopardize what he was starting with her.

I was pissed. Not because he “cheated” but because he was given the chance to openly do what he was doing and yet he chose to lie about it.

I was opened mined enough to actually allow it for lack of a better word. His wife was as well. Although their relationship was over but they shared the house for the sake of the kids. No divorce for him means no child support, no losing the house. It was a good deal for him.

After getting over the upset about the lying, and him changing his mind, we got back together. He continued to see other people for years. I was fine with it. When I went to do the same, it was an issue. When I was thinking of escorting because I enjoy the dynamics of those types of “paid mistress” style relationships and he was really a no-go on that.

He had an open-minded GF, an ex-wife not going the divorce route but staying in the house to share the work/Financial load of life and yet he still felt the need to lie about fucking other women. I still to this day don’t understand why.

I guess this is where my curiosity for the need for secrecy for some men come from. It is a turn on some how for them. I don’t get how lying is a turn on. And I have never really seen it work out. Even in other relationships. I guess I feel that more people are upset about the lying and not the actual act of fucking someone else. I know a lot of women who would trade the pressure put on them so that someone else can meet the need. I have heard it plenty of times.

But then communication is usually always lacking in most relationships. From what I have heard. I haven’t really had many. For my own reason, I just am too independent for them. So what do I really know anyway. LOL.

Well, Jenesis, I generally find that both sexes/human beings are selfish, even if both sexes decide it's okay to find someone else, it's actually not okay because pride/ego is always in the way.

For example, on my previous post, I have mention a girl name Amelia (not her real name), she knew that I love her a lot. But she only wants to be friends cause she thinks I'm a good guy to hang around (just platonic relationship). However, I cannot be her friend because I can't stand seeing her being with another guy. Especially when she is married to another person beside me (NOTE: She married the other guy the day after my birthday). Is it jealous or pride? Who knows, and I don't care what you tell me. I know for sure that I can't be her friend because I'll definitely be a shitty friend, I'll have zero patient with our conversation, and I'll be passion-aggressive with her all the time. So, isn't better live our separate lives? Why force the situation?

Indeed, there are some people who are down-to-earth, and willing to accept the circumstances (such as being in open relationship). It rarely happens so, I don't consider it as a norm in our society.

P.S. I'm sorry for your lost, Jenesis. May your mother rest in peace.
 
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Jenesis

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Having to make the statement that you are not judging, ironically, is pointing out that you are.

LJ
Hmm no, I’m pointing it out because some have made the mistake of thinking so. Too be sure, I reiterated.

There is a difference.
 
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KimChu

New member
Mar 16, 2018
2
3
3
Living with parents until late 20's, so close to no privacy and semi-broke as hell. And with girls I knew, I ended up always in the friend zone.

Once I was able to move out, dating wasn't easy either. On a serendipitous way, one day I had some sore muscles and asked myself "why not visit one of these persons with massage ads in Craigslist?". The person I visited is an actually trained masseuse in China and, at the end of the massage, she asked how I was feeling, as most masseuse would usually ask. Since she wasn't an RMT and she was looking past 40 with at least a child (the massage was at her house and it was obvious there was another person living there), I took a chance complementing her looks and the way she massaged by bump and lower legs gave me a hard on, which was obvious when I flipped but the sheets were still on. Without any hesitation, she just said, "oh, happy ending for $X". I haven't looked back since, slowly creeping in the HS and then FS, though my preference is massage followed by HJ.

I did end up in dating down the road but things never materialized, mostly because the girls I met and I didn't click. The fact my job then required me to travel frequently didn't help with social life. But, now that I am in my 50s, where you are starting to be set in your ways, finding that person becomes more difficult. I do have a FWB and she is great. But, somewhat similar to me, she is set in her ways and agree that, while we are OK getting together for the occasional sex, it won't work for us as a couple.
 

pseudo-code

JetSet
Dec 13, 2013
142
40
28
Not sure if anyone thought about this as well but reading these, it should be clear to everyone as it is for me that this industry serves a real purpose... isn't going anywhere (there were sustainability doubts a few months ago, no?).

Anyway my story just to chime in. I was in a highly demanding work situation, terribly consistent work and life imbalance (or lack of even), started with decompressing at strip clubs, then discovered this world (I can't remember exactly how I stumbled on it). To my surprise, I met quite a few wonderful people here... admirable even, which in the past I would not have expected due to my own misunderstanding of this world. Not as active as before these days but I still monitor this board and look for opportunities. =)

This is one of the few posts that I enjoy reading here. Thanks for sharing, everyone.
 

Thackeray

Active member
Jun 13, 2019
238
174
43
It's the thrill and living out certain fantasies you'd rather not talk about to your significant other....Nothing like the attention of another sexy woman that makes a man feel like a king
Yeah these. And no civilian woman wants to know when her man comes home that he’s just had a 22-year-old hottie sitting on his face.

I’d bet good money that this hobby saves more marriages than it kills.
 

The Fox

Feeling Supersonic
Jun 4, 2004
818
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And I get that. That is possible with an open relationship so why not insist on having one when entering something long term?
That’s not the way it works. The chances of getting married to someone who is accepting of an open marriage is likely .03%. Plus, it would certainly limit the quality of women to marry. It’s best to never have that conversation. We love our wives and separate ourselves for sex. A hobby is smart and transactional. So is out of town random hit and runs. But an affair, that’s a slippery rope for sure
 
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Jenesis

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That’s not the way it works. The chances of getting married to someone who is accepting of an open marriage is likely .03%. Plus, it would certainly limit the quality of women to marry. It’s best to never have that conversation. We love our wives and separate ourselves for sex. A hobby is smart and transactional. So is out of town random hit and runs. But an affair, that’s a slippery rope for sure
Wow. So only homely women will accept an open relationship? LOL. Ok.
 
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coolmanfever

Well-known member
Feb 14, 2017
939
520
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When I was young, I always have problem talking to girls especially hot girls. I got fed up and lost my virginity to a hot MPA at age 21 back in Asia. Ever since then, I have been a horn dog and enjoying pay for sex with different types of girls. Did the whole sex tourist things in South America, Europe, and Asia with couple of my horn dog college buddies. Traveling around the world and pay for sex became a hobby I would enjoy with my buddies. The most I enjoy about this pay for sex hobby is "varieties". To this day, I have never pay for sex with the same girl more than once.

Currently I am happily married and settled down in GTA but the horn dog in me still lives and participate in this hobby. My spouse is their most important business partner, friend, parent of my children, and my suga mama. I am glad GTA has such vibrate scene of different types and colors of SP to enjoy. My wife is horny as hell once a week and we have wild sex. But the horn dog in me still live.
 

Coolsin000

LEGENDARY
Apr 21, 2019
5,623
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When I was young, I always have problem talking to girls especially hot girls. I got fed up and lost my virginity to a hot MPA at age 21 back in Asia. Ever since then, I have been a horn dog and enjoying pay for sex with different types of girls. Did the whole sex tourist things in South America, Europe, and Asia with couple of my horn dog college buddies. Traveling around the world and pay for sex became a hobby I would enjoy with my buddies. The most I enjoy about this pay for sex hobby is "varieties". To this day, I have never pay for sex with the same girl more than once.

Currently I am happily married and settled down in GTA but the horn dog in me still lives and participate in this hobby. My spouse is their most important business partner, friend, parent of my children, and my suga mama. I am glad GTA has such vibrate scene of different types and colors of SP to enjoy. My wife is horny as hell once a week and we have wild sex. But the horn dog in me still live.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us. Do you normally go to agency in those countries or you find yourself a tour guide to find the ladies?
 

Richard.TO

Active member
Jun 19, 2012
556
28
28
A sexless marriage going on 8 years (zero sex or affection) too financially entangled to divorce. Much less expensive to see an sp occasionally than give away what I have built up. Marriage counselling has not worked. Still sleeping in separate rooms. Seeing beautiful young SPs 20+ or 30+ keeps me sane. Thank god we have SPs!
 

Bobzilla

Buy-sexual
Oct 26, 2002
1,957
177
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No mind changing, I promise you. He dated other women for years while we were together. He was with another woman steady for two years while with me and living at home with the wife. We all knew. Well the girl didn’t know about me and the wife but the wife and I knew. She didn’t care because they were done and I didn’t care because it doesn’t bother me. He was the one who got bored of the chase and just stopped on his own.

SIDE NOTE: I taught her back when I was teaching night school. I never told her. I taught her, spent extra time because she couldn’t get the subject matter and she would even talk about him and I would have to stay quiet. It sucked but wasn’t my place to say anything.

And I will say that even though I knew about the other women as there were many, he would still lie. Say he is staying home but would be going out. 2/3 years of him dating other women and me not giving a damn, but he needed to hold on to his “secrets“

He was abusive and that was what ended the relationship. Without giving details, that abuse is what finally made it a sexless relationship. I could not have sex with him anymore and he knew and accepted the reason why. By the end I was hoping he would have gone back to sleeping with other women. Lord knows I told him. I went to escorting and was straight up with him about doing so. He hated it, but by this point I didn’t want another relationship with anyone And there was nothing he could say to me about sex outside of the relationship. He had no leg to stand on there.

Again, to be clear, I am not judging those who step out of the relationship and even those who keep it secret. Either by need or desire.

It’s been well over 10 years but I will just always wonder why a guy who had permission, lied about it.
For a lot of people, it's the thrill of doing something that you know you shouldn't be doing. For some reason, it seems to add a bit of extra spice to the act itself.
 
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Jenesis

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For a lot of people, it's the thrill of doing something that you know you shouldn't be doing. For some reason, it seems to add a bit of extra spice to the act itself.
Ya maybe. I don’t think I will ever get it. Even it if was as easy to explain as 2-2=0.

I understand that people feel they need to lie when married, or committed. Need to lie to friends and family and it is not like I have never told a lie before, I will just never under feeling joy from lying. I guess that is the part I am missing.

Some people get serious joy out of knowing they are betraying (not just in this industry but in general) someone they care about. I don’t think I could say I truly cared for someone if I got joy out of that. Not to be confused with adrenaline that happens because that part of the “trill” I understand.
 
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Mr.lover

Well-known member
Sep 5, 2001
744
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No mind changing, I promise you. He dated other women for years while we were together. He was with another woman steady for two years while with me and living at home with the wife. We all knew. Well the girl didn’t know about me and the wife but the wife and I knew. She didn’t care because they were done and I didn’t care because it doesn’t bother me. He was the one who got bored of the chase and just stopped on his own.

SIDE NOTE: I taught her back when I was teaching night school. I never told her. I taught her, spent extra time because she couldn’t get the subject matter and she would even talk about him and I would have to stay quiet. It sucked but wasn’t my place to say anything.

And I will say that even though I knew about the other women as there were many, he would still lie. Say he is staying home but would be going out. 2/3 years of him dating other women and me not giving a damn, but he needed to hold on to his “secrets“

He was abusive and that was what ended the relationship. Without giving details, that abuse is what finally made it a sexless relationship. I could not have sex with him anymore and he knew and accepted the reason why. By the end I was hoping he would have gone back to sleeping with other women. Lord knows I told him. I went to escorting and was straight up with him about doing so. He hated it, but by this point I didn’t want another relationship with anyone And there was nothing he could say to me about sex outside of the relationship. He had no leg to stand on there.

Again, to be clear, I am not judging those who step out of the relationship and even those who keep it secret. Either by need or desire.

It’s been well over 10 years but I will just always wonder why a guy who had permission, lied about it.
My thoughts are you were just his crutch. His marriage was done, so wife didn't care. You were his only other emotional outlet, he cheated because he is a serial cheater. You were emotionally invested, despite your denial, otherwise why did you stay? We are complicated beings, emotions is the reason why. For him, he is just an asshole who needed to feel in control, do what he wants, do what he thinks, no consequences. When you made that easy, he had no challenge and decided to push the envelope by lying and cheating on you.
I was you in my relationship. She is a serial cheater, very much in need of attention and needed it constantly. I am sorry for the next guy in her life.
For me I started in this hobby cuz it was difficult getting into relationships, I either never picked up on the signals or was too shy. Started when I started working, took the plunge out of desperation. Then being more comfortable with women, I started having relationships but it never lasted long, was cheated on, exgf broke me good. Dived back into the hobby and never looked back until I settled down.. marriage went sour, never cheated but got accused many times.. it was justification for her to cheat.. she was good at lying.. still is.
 

Jenesis

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My thoughts are you were just his crutch. His marriage was done, so wife didn't care. You were his only other emotional outlet, he cheated because he is a serial cheater. You were emotionally invested, despite your denial, otherwise why did you stay? We are complicated beings, emotions is the reason why. For him, he is just an asshole who needed to feel in control, do what he wants, do what he thinks, no consequences. When you made that easy, he had no challenge and decided to push the envelope by lying and cheating on you.
I was you in my relationship. She is a serial cheater, very much in need of attention and needed it constantly. I am sorry for the next guy in her life.
For me I started in this hobby cuz it was difficult getting into relationships, I either never picked up on the signals or was too shy. Started when I started working, took the plunge out of desperation. Then being more comfortable with women, I started having relationships but it never lasted long, was cheated on, exgf broke me good. Dived back into the hobby and never looked back until I settled down.. marriage went sour, never cheated but got accused many times.. it was justification for her to cheat.. she was good at lying.. still is.
I think you are confused. I never said I didn’t care about him. I did or you’re right, I would not have stayed. At least until it got abusive and I got struck in the trap. I mean I made it out clear, but there was a stuck period there fore sure.

What I didn’t care about him fucking other women. I didn’t and still don’t. I am fine with all that.

But you may have hit on something. I suppose to have an issue with having sex with others and because I didn’t, that took the control out of it.

The one thing that would get me is lying though. So Ya, I think you may have nailed it there. For him anyway. That was his joy. Feeling he had the power over me because he had the truth and I had the lie.

Thanks for that.
 
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