Why do hobbyist get ridiculed when they become attached to an SP?

[malata]

some have fallen and can't get up. perhaps the view below be fine

 

[Mimician]

I cried when she got shot.

Controversial and hence interesting thread. I like where it's going so far, but are we already establishing the premise that we can't fall in love with robots?!

 

[spraggamuffin]

This was pretty funny in even love songs can misdirect us and fuck us over, be blatantly honest or full of lies but still sound romantic.

https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is

Read if you gots the time.
Such good arguments throughout this thread.
OP will do well to read them well.

 

[Brotherman]

LOL I think you had one too many red pills!

I think we all been having too many red pills ?

 

[Wappa]

I think it depends on what's happening between client and the SP. If things are staying within the appointment time and you appreciate eachother and have fun that's great. Where I draw the line is if they actually tell me they love me and want me to be their real gf, if they become obsessed and jealous of other clients and don't want me to work, if they message me all the time just to chat and flirt wanting constant attentrion and not to rebook or if their booking is weeks away, if they told their family about me and want me to meet them, if they say they want to co-sign something with me or put me on their health insurance (seriously), they want me to move in with them. This is too much.

I do like spending time with regular clients and getting to know them and having fun and we care about eachother. But when one party actually falls in love or gets obsessed and it starts negartively affecting both of our lives I think that's a problem. You can adore and be infatuated with someone but if they're unable to function without the SP who does not share their feelings and the client becomes upset, lovesick and hurt I think it's best to move on. Especially if they client is married and doing riskier things out of love for the SP that might lead to him getting caught and it blowing up in everyone's face that is not good.

This is an emotional business, it's not just physical to a lot of people but everyone has their own boundaries and goals and things can get messy. We do the best we can, but I try to keep my boundaries clear and not interfere with their personal life and hope they can respect that I give what I can in sessions but have my own personal life outside of work and am not looking to date or marry a client.

This.
Great picture too.

When people’s vision and lines get blurred, it gets messy.

While on the topic, curious to know if any members have done anything like co-sign financially for an sp/mP. Or anything financial outside of THE transaction itself. I’m hearing from some providers that this happens. Did you offer? Or did they ask? And of course, how did it turn out?

 

[SammyS]

Hmmm... interesting thread. I thought it was just part of the process when you first start out... "falling" for, or being infatuated over a girl but I guess we're all different.

I fell hard, not for the first girl that I saw but I was in the newbie stage. OMG this girl felt like she was my girlfriend. LOL... I wished... she is so good. I didn't get into the "obsessive" stage but I e-mailed her a couple of times telling her how great she was. This was part of the learning curve for me in the industry and over time I realized that none of these girls will ever be my girlfriend but think I've built some great relationships. And to be honest I LOVE the zone I'm in now. The sense of excitement in seeing new girls and finding new ones that you "click" with but also revisiting girls that I had an amazing time with and they know what I want and deliver every time!!!

 

[Spacealien2]

LOL I think you had one too many red pills!

I only took the black pill.

And I survived. You never go back.

 

[Mimician]

Hmmm... interesting thread. I thought it was just part of the process when you first start out... "falling" for, or being infatuated over a girl but I guess we're all different.

I fell hard, not for the first girl that I saw but I was in the newbie stage. OMG this girl felt like she was my girlfriend. LOL... I wished... she is so good. I didn't get into the "obsessive" stage but I e-mailed her a couple of times telling her how great she was. This was part of the learning curve for me in the industry and over time I realized that none of these girls will ever be my girlfriend but think I've built some great relationships. And to be honest I LOVE the zone I'm in now. The sense of excitement in seeing new girls and finding new ones that you "click" with but also revisiting girls that I had an amazing time with and they know what I want and deliver every time!!!

Almost the same here, except the letter part. Perhaps even a bit envious of that... guess I started the game late.

I bet regardless of how cringe you feel right now, they were fond memories to reflect back on. To me that's what's life is all about.

Ignorant is bliss. Until you wake up. Hopefully it just doesn't bite you back too much

 

[kherg007]

I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times...pro wrestling is the apt metaphor. Don't ask if it's real, only ask if you were entertained. Full stop. That being said I feel genuine affection for my fave ladies, and I do love them as people and would be saddened if anything bad ever happened to them. But i don't mistake that for romantic love. One time an outcall back in oz offered her affections and we did date for a bit. But she made the first move....

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I LOVE how these types of threads freak the fuck out of some people and we see hypocrisy at its finest.

So let me get this straight in this industry its okay to getting into all types of fetishizes like pissed on, chocked, gaged, tied up, beaten and humiliated consensually however when love happens consensually its okay to automatically be categorized as a complete loser and social failure for paying for sex and thinking this has anything to do with love. lol okay there.

Regardless of what anyone says the truth still happens. Two consenting adults have a choice even if paying for a session to take it further and keep keeping it in the session or take it out past the session. i.e. there are some examples where terb members have confirmed they still maintain plutonic relationships with the girl and have been invited and attended the SPs wedding and still keep in each others life. So how do you self righteous know it alls explain this. Well they must be lying right? It doesn’t happen to us, we look down on clients as suckas who think like this, so its all false. Fuck them all they just angry lol right? Lets self project some more here.

It is quite understandable why many SPs choose not to involve this industry with the love stuff which is totally fair. However they don’t and can’t speak for all SPs because it happens every day. Like you should know how many students we have as MPAs trying to pay for their education, that when not MPAing they go to school and study. Do you think these types have time to waste on dating and clubs when they can get even better type of loving from some experienced clients who they also find attractive.

LOVE is like anything else and just part of the experience. It can happen just for a brief moment and disappear or last a life time.

Also I don’t understand these SPs who come on here and complain about clients getting attached and stalking and shit. Its simple. Just tell the guy not to see you if he doesn’t respect your boundaries. Or call the cops if the guy crosses your line and doesn’t listen like when you tell him not to see you anymore. There is no second chances. If they can’t respect boundaries first time or show any signs of disrespect act accordingly and ban the shit out of them.

At the end of the day consent and choice are fundamental and people always have right to their own as long as it doesn’t affect the others consent and choice.

 

[Smallcock]

I cried when she got shot.

I know. She was so kind and beautiful. What man wouldn't want to hold her, be gentle and kind to her, even though she was just a sophisticated illusion of a human.

 

[rhuarc29]

You do not know what love actually is if this is what you describe as love.

You are talking about lust, not love.

While I agree that the OP is likely talking about lust, that doesn't mean a client can't love his SP. Love doesn't have to be a two-way street -- it often isn't -- and a client can absolutely be in love with his SP even whilst paying for it, especially if he can segregate that last bit in his mind. Delusion is, after all, fairly integral to the industry.

I think the reason most people condemn it on here is because in the vast majority of cases between clients and SPs, falling in love goes very wrong. Plus, it's not the purpose of the industry. And finally, many on here will simply find it pathetic and say so because they like to feel superior.

 

[Euro Male]

i love how these types of threads freak the fuck out of some people

Whoop! Whoop! :biggrin:

 

[jazzbox]

Reading these posts I am really struck by how some contributors want (hope) these interactions with SPs to carry way more weight and significance than they ever could. This is a world where sex is commodified and sold by the hour. The providers enter the business to make money not to fall in love or develop feelings for their customers. Granted, there is a small chance that a relationship can develop but it is a vanishingly small chance when measured in relation to interactions between civilians in the dating world. Hobbyists that fall for their SPs get sneered at because they have bought the illusion they are being sold and they willingly went out to purchase. They look like suckers just like the folks that send money to Nigerian princes. That being said, I have some sympathy for suckers and do wonder what is it about their life that leads reasonably intelligent guys to a situation where they honestly believe that the 23 yo college girl they are banging for $300 an hour has an interest in their somewhat worn-out 50 yo mind/body/spirit and really cares about them. Come on, if you are going to take a chance on love at least choose a realistic potential partner - or at least one whose primary motive is not to drain your wallet of $300.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

It doesnÂ’t really matter what the absolute truth is. Really what is the truth anyways. Nobody really has a good handle and explanation of what this life really is.

As long as you believe something , it makes you feel good and is healthy and doesn’t hurt other people is a good thing.

Here is one example

Oxytocin, also known as “the love hormone,” affects how we think, and how we act. When released, it creates a sense of attachment, causing a bond to form between two people. Not only does the hormone make us feel good, but it lowers blood pressure, stress hormones and improves your overall mood and wellbeing.

I would say it would be quite selfish and foolish and unintelligent to try and ruin your life by finding your true love and leaving your family when you do and potentially undermining everything you have built and relationships you have build because you like what oxytocin does to your mind, body and spirit . Really how long does true love really last? We understand the stages and chase after the best part which includes the spark. What is true love anyways lol nobody really knows but almost everyone has an opinion of it.

So the smart thing to do is pay for the session enjoy the moment, respect each other boundaries and enjoy the ride wherever it may lead.

This is the same like saying why do people take drugs they are so fucking stupid and I am so much better then them because I choose to be faithful to my boring life. Or how about smoking or fetish or extreme sports. You see how much that undermines your being by judging and putting yourself above people who see different and live different. But they those people always seem happy, their family seems happy, they have money to enjoy life but yet in your head you have already concluded that they are foolish based on your response.

So people get addicted to love because its a natural healthy drug regardless of real or not and it actually benefits their mind, body, and spirit without undermining their real life but yet somehow in your logic they seem below you and foolish.

I think itÂ’s important to realize people have their own preference and points of views and perspectives and value people even if they donÂ’t support your opinions and perspectives.

Just because you have limited experiences in this department with SPs doesn’t mean the rest of the clients do. Don’t you think we know how to find willing SPs that are open to this type of experience similar to one we know who provide good fetish sessions or are good at nuru etc. So both parties have fun, she gets paid, both leave the moment and either never repeat or decide to keep it going. Why is this hard to understand?

Also who in their right mind would chase this from a weak minded SPs. If you try and take advantage of their inexperience and naivety you will never experience that spark.

So realize there is spectrum of perspectives, personalities, experiences etc.., great thing about the GTA scene is that you can almost find anything you need without taking advantage of the other and staying respectful to her and yourself.

Check this if you care to taste the red pill...

But he is probably crazy right, must be a joke, he doesn’t think like us, so its crazy right? Just crazy people finding coincidences. Maybe a sucka fool too with lots of money, yup thats it. I feel good about myself now just put somebody else down today lol

Reading these posts I am really struck by how some contributors want (hope) these interactions with SPs to carry way more weight and significance than they ever could. This is a world where sex is commodified and sold by the hour. The providers enter the business to make money not to fall in love or develop feelings for their customers. Granted, there is a small chance that a relationship can develop but it is a vanishingly small chance when measured in relation to interactions between civilians in the dating world. Hobbyists that fall for their SPs get sneered at because they have bought the illusion they are being sold and they willingly went out to purchase. They look like suckers just like the folks that send money to Nigerian princes. That being said, I have some sympathy for suckers and do wonder what is it about their life that leads reasonably intelligent guys to a situation where they honestly believe that the 23 yo college girl they are banging for $300 an hour has an interest in their somewhat worn-out 50 yo mind/body/spirit and really cares about them. Come on, if you are going to take a chance on love at least choose a realistic potential partner - or at least one whose primary motive is not to drain your wallet of $300.

 

[SashaTDL]

When you become attached to any woman you're a loser to them.

Hey now. This isn't true. :biggrin:

It seems like what might make someone appear to be a "loser" to some might mainly be things like.. displaying a lack of consideration.

But not everyone is skilled at empathy or placing themselves in the others' shoes. Empathy (not to be confused with "sympathy") goes a very, very long way. This goes for the woman as well. If she isn't very skilled in this department, well.. the whole thing is a mess.

 

[spraggamuffin]

Reading these posts I am really struck by how some contributors want (hope) these interactions with SPs to carry way more weight and significance than they ever could. This is a world where sex is commodified and sold by the hour. The providers enter the business to make money not to fall in love or develop feelings for their customers. Granted, there is a small chance that a relationship can develop but it is a vanishingly small chance when measured in relation to interactions between civilians in the dating world. Hobbyists that fall for their SPs get sneered at because they have bought the illusion they are being sold and they willingly went out to purchase. They look like suckers just like the folks that send money to Nigerian princes. That being said, I have some sympathy for suckers and do wonder what is it about their life that leads reasonably intelligent guys to a situation where they honestly believe that the 23 yo college girl they are banging for $300 an hour has an interest in their somewhat worn-out 50 yo mind/body/spirit and really cares about them. Come on, if you are going to take a chance on love at least choose a realistic potential partner - or at least one whose primary motive is not to drain your wallet of $300.

Well said.

 

[Ben19]

I see this topic being posted several times now , and thought Il give my two cents again. I have thought about this for some time as I am at risk for this happening. I am in the same age as most the girls in this business and contrary to what I see most posters say about guys in my age category, I am not some looser who cant find normal dates, I and am sure many in my situation have options and do this for convenience.

I think an important thing is to determine WHY as a client your doing this hobby and stick to that principle. If its to fall in love, then I would say this is the wrong way of doing it but to each there own. If its to just have fun then continue to do so and try to stick within that limit.

Now can you blame guys for falling in "love", or better the deceive of love from lust. Absolutely not. Feelings are exactly that, feelings, and sometimes logic fails to beat it. We do however have a choice to act on those feelings or not. But there is an alternative in which you dont make a choice and still keep that healthy lustful feelings going... you continue living in this fantasy of a client and SP arrangement and that comes with a price in which in this case is $$. To me the alternative cost of trying to advance things beyond the SP client relationship is greater and defeats the whole purpose as to why I started doing this in the first case which goes back to my first point. But I do not try to shut my self of any feelings towards the girls, having regular physical and social dates with someone you have feelings towards without the bounds of a formal relationship is truly a luxury and like other luxuries it can get expensive very fast as you want more and more but to me that is worth it. Now it is natural to want more but sometimes that is unrealistic, in case of older gents with younger girls. So why risk what you already have.

Now I am of the thought that one should never completely limit themselves. I can see a situation where maybe things actually are meant to be, this hobby does bring together people who normally would not see each other. But I think as the guy you should not make the first move or make advancements beyond the arrangement in all aspects of the date whether it be to get another service, get to know the girls real name etc. At the end of the day you are paying for her time and there are agreed upon spoken and unspoken rules that we all know about, any deviations should be made by the person providing the service full stop. You do not want to put the girls in an uncomfortable position. Furthermore, meeting someone through this hobby has risks for starting off on rocky grounds. I see most posters mention that the girls can be "unstable" or that their after money, while parts of that could be true in some instances you cant generalize. It also goes both ways. The guys who do this are also not all saints and come with their own predisposition to issues. Also starting off like this puts the guy in the automatic provider mode which is not always healthy. Each person can also later use each others past as ammunation when things go south.


Anyways my conclusion is: developing feelings for an SP can elevate your experience and ideally one should not block it but keep it within this arrangement. If things do progress further then it has to be done by the girl keeping in mind that such a relationship is very risky, but not impossible,

 

[SexB]

Hey now. This isn't true. :biggrin:

It seems like what might make someone appear to be a "loser" to some might mainly be things like.. displaying a lack of consideration.

But not everyone is skilled at empathy or placing themselves in the others' shoes. Empathy (not to be confused with "sympathy") goes a very, very long way. This goes for the woman as well. If she isn't very skilled in this department, well.. the whole thing is a mess.

He edited the quote but he also included some nonsense about "Chad".

In other words, he's an "incel".

 

[anon1]

Why do hobbyist get ridiculed when they become attached to an SP?

Because we have been there and survived it.



mostly