Meeting female civilians is a waste of time

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
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The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results.
That is an example of what an insane person may do. It is not a definition.

You realize you just contradicted yourself there, Tashki. Those two statements back-to-back are like saying, "I hate carrots, but I like to drink carrot juice."
I do not like tomatoes but I like tomato juice, ketchup and tomato sauce.
 

Dutch Oven

Well-known member
Feb 12, 2019
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There are many, many theories about how to date successfully. However, finding a life long, or even long term successful relationship is largely a matter of luck and perseverance. The more valuable skill is the ability to pull the plug on relationships that are not working so that you can go out and buy another lottery ticket.
 

spraggamuffin

Well-known member
Oct 6, 2006
3,294
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There are many, many theories about how to date successfully. However, finding a life long, or even long term successful relationship is largely a matter of luck and perseverance. The more valuable skill is the ability to pull the plug on relationships that are not working so that you can go out and buy another lottery ticket.
People look fo rthe wrong things in people and only on the surface.
It's why we have so many "players" playing the game but no substance underneath.
If you are looking for promiscuity in a woman, is it a quality you want in a wife as well?
One has to be careful what they wish for, lust after and fall in love with.
People also wants' what suits their fancy in the moment.
Ready made with all the superficial qualities they can see like money, looks, etc but no time to invest time in someone to discover all the great qualities that cannot immediately be seen.
People have priorities, and more and more women are becoming more educated and more successful career wise compared to men, but they are not as generous as men were when the tables were turned.
So they look for men that are as equally successful or more, trading up instead of down.
Whereas in the past men have been doing a lot of trading down with women.
Women still want top quality men as out lined in OPs 80% of women chasing the top 20% of men.
 

malata

RockStar
Jan 16, 2004
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Paradise by the dashboard light.
80% of women want the top 20% of men in the male dominate hierarchy.
don't feel so bad. most of the 20% males in the the dominate hierarchy, see right through the materialism that go after them. The balance is as flawed as me pissing in the wind

 

explorerzip

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2006
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That is an example of what an insane person may do. It is not a definition.

I do not like tomatoes but I like tomato juice, ketchup and tomato sauce.
His point is not wrong though. If the OP approached 80-90 women (likely an exaggeration) and got rejected every time, he is obviously doing something wrong. He needs to learn from his mistakes, try different strategies and / or places to meet people. Another thing to realize is that some people just don't want to be bothered no matter how confident, charming, etc you are.

IMO, a lot of his failures are coming from a negative attitude. The more you say that it's a waste of time, women are only looking for this or that, etc then the more difficult meeting people becomes. Negativity turns you into a bitter person and other people can sense it. You can't be confident when you're negative on the inside.

I think a few people have said that you should not give a fuck, which is only partly true. You must not care about what other people think of you because you have no control over it. You must give a fuck about you and be constantly working on it. Finding success in dating is just like finding success in any pursuit. You have to be willing to play the long game and commit to continuous improvement and experimentation. It could take months, days or years, but you can't skip that process. And you must continue that process especially after you meet quality person.
 

doggystyle99

Well-known member
May 23, 2010
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Tashki your outlook on life is not a very positive one. You keep coming up with these thread subjects that are just ridiculous.

From not being able to forgive your parents for circumcizing you because you saw a video on Youtube that labelled "circumcision is stupid"

"This one of the few things that I could possibly never forgive my parents for"
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?670171-I-am-circumcised-and-I-feel-disgusted

To this doozy of why you don't think you should be friends with attractive women.
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?671133-Why-should-I-be-friends-with-attractive-women

And now this thread.
If you are real and this is not just a troll attempt on your part, you need to get a better outlook on life. Considering you are in under 30 life is going to be hard for you if you can't learn quickly how to deal with these small matters.
 

jackal2006

Member
Oct 10, 2006
243
3
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But takshi is not all wrong. Canadian women are hard to meet unless you're a player and the type of player they want to meet. I have friends that have married or gotten into relationships but they had to take what they could get here and many times lower their expectations.

It is possible to meet women here for relationships but it will be hard because Canadians are aloof and not friendly like other countries. Plus women have way too much power here and they're the picky ones now. So if you don't have tangible things to offer like social credit or money or looks it will be a hard uphill battle unless you compromise what you're looking for severely.
 

explorerzip

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2006
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But takshi is not all wrong. Canadian women are hard to meet unless you're a player and the type of player they want to meet. I have friends that have married or gotten into relationships but they had to take what they could get here and many times lower their expectations.

It is possible to meet women here for relationships but it will be hard because Canadians are aloof and not friendly like other countries. Plus women have way too much power here and they're the picky ones now. So if you don't have tangible things to offer like social credit or money or looks it will be a hard uphill battle unless you compromise what you're looking for severely.
More limiting beliefs and dare I say excuses for not pulling yourself up. I agree there are going to be things that you will have to compromise on, but that's the same for everyone no matter how good looking, rich or poor. Hate to break it to you, but LIFE is an uphill battle. Dating isn't any different. You're right that you need to be a player i.e. you have to be active by developing your mind, body, etc. Things become much more difficult if you're sitting around with these limiting beliefs.

Sure, some people seemingly have an easy time at dating, life, etc. but you don't know what they went through to get where they were. It likely was a hard slog for them too.
 

jackal2006

Member
Oct 10, 2006
243
3
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@explorerzip. I respectfully disagree. They are not limiting believes but realities of the dating landscape here. I am not against hard work and have done well in other parts of life putting in the effort. Dating is not one of those areas. The effort you have to put in here it just isn't worth it because women here are very picky and materialistic. And sadly many of them don't bring much to the table besides maybe what's between their legs. It's not like our fathers or grandfathers times.

You seem to have unlocked this frozen social tundra. Care to give some pointers besides the usual bs?
 

explorerzip

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2006
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@explorerzip. I respectfully disagree. They are not limiting believes but realities of the dating landscape here. I am not against hard work and have done well in other parts of life putting in the effort. Dating is not one of those areas. The effort you have to put in here it just isn't worth it because women here are very picky and materialistic. And sadly many of them don't bring much to the table besides maybe what's between their legs. It's not like our fathers or grandfathers times.

You seem to have unlocked this frozen social tundra. Care to give some pointers besides the usual bs?
I don't have some magical insight on people and it's quite telling that you think that's what I meant. You know this, but it is isn't BS that your attitude (positive and negative) has a lot to do with your life and what you can attract into it including people. Dating only seems harder because there are huge emotions and ego attached to it. Yet the process of success is still largely the same as anything else.

Earlier the OP said he supposedly approached 80-90 women and got rejected every time. A wise person would figure out what they're doing wrong and more importantly right, and change tactics rather than throwing their hands in defeat. You're right that we live in a different time than our dads and grand dads. As a result, we have to change our tactics and attitudes too. You can't expect to be successful if you keep using the same old routine.

Earlier you said that you perceive Canadians as unfriendly. Yet there's no possible way you can meet enough of them to make such a conclusion. Even if there is some truth to this, we can use this as an opportunity to be friendlier with other people. If you want to find friendly people, try being that way first. There are plenty of ways that we can be kinder and friendlier to the people around us. I can tell you from personal experience that if you try to be friendlier in your daily life, others will usually do the same to you.
 

Carvher

Well-known member
Apr 13, 2010
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hey Takshi, I applaud your zeal. Most guys would have given up way before 80 or 90. I think you have the main ingredient for success and that is perseverance but you are obviously punching way above your weight to lose 90 in a row. Go down a couple of weight classes (or up, lol) and I'm sure you will hit something. Just befriend the homeliest girl you can find.
 

motion

Member
Oct 10, 2011
66
3
8
I don't have some magical insight on people and it's quite telling that you think that's what I meant. You know this, but it is isn't BS that your attitude (positive and negative) has a lot to do with your life and what you can attract into it including people. Dating only seems harder because there are huge emotions and ego attached to it. Yet the process of success is still largely the same as anything else.

Earlier the OP said he supposedly approached 80-90 women and got rejected every time. A wise person would figure out what they're doing wrong and more importantly right, and change tactics rather than throwing their hands in defeat. You're right that we live in a different time than our dads and grand dads. As a result, we have to change our tactics and attitudes too. You can't expect to be successful if you keep using the same old routine.

Earlier you said that you perceive Canadians as unfriendly. Yet there's no possible way you can meet enough of them to make such a conclusion. Even if there is some truth to this, we can use this as an opportunity to be friendlier with other people. If you want to find friendly people, try being that way first. There are plenty of ways that we can be kinder and friendlier to the people around us. I can tell you from personal experience that if you try to be friendlier in your daily life, others will usually do the same to you.
This guy gets it.
 

Robert Mugabe

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2017
9,778
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Pooning is the great leveler. I'm sure there are some nice civilians out there, but for value for time and money, sp's have spoiled me rotten. I have occasionally chatted up a couple of women who reacted quite nicely. I was going to pull the trigger on asking them out,but my inner devil sitting on my left shoulder said "why bother?" You can get exactly what you want with bells on from pros. many of who are still on my tdl. all the acronyms available for the price of a parking ticket. bbbj dfk daty. A good work out for an hour at a very reasonable price, along with the memories. There was a show on CBC years ago about what women want. One interview stuck out. A saggy looking milf said she loved oral sex. for hours. she then pointed out that she didn't really give oral sex. she was a bit lazy in that regard. She loved pitching. She just didn't do much catching. So to sum up. civvies should take a page out of the work ethic manual that sp's abide by.
 

surferboy

Well-known member
Jan 7, 2014
1,348
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hey Takshi, I applaud your zeal. Most guys would have given up way before 80 or 90. I think you have the main ingredient for success and that is perseverance but you are obviously punching way above your weight to lose 90 in a row. Go down a couple of weight classes (or up, lol) and I'm sure you will hit something. Just befriend the homeliest girl you can find.
Definitely the perseverance! Maybe start on the average end of the spectrum & work your way up to the hotties. If that doesn't work try eharmony...they'res a perfect match for everyone out there just gotta find em!
 

jazzbox

Well-known member
Jan 29, 2009
957
484
113
Disclaimer: I am not looking for a relationship and don't try to pick up women anymore.

But... the attractive women I know aren't that picky. They frequently end up dedicated to terrible relationships and I am often left scratching my head wondering why the choose unattractive, dependent losers... The OP is doing something wrong. Of course, if he is 50+ and trying to pick up hot 19 year olds then he is delusional and needs to reorient his desires... unless he has packs and packs of money to freely spend on them. 30+ women tend to be more interested in men for who they are rather than for their money, 6 pack abs and high powered jobs. However, most are looking for marriage material. So the OP has to be prepared for marriage if he wants the 30 year olds. 50+ women are a lot more open about the men they are interested in and not that concerned about getting married. All this to say, the OP should take a long careful look at himself and ask what he can truly and honestly expect in terms of a civilian relationship. It is great to have aspirations but now I am pushing 50 there is no way I am going to run a 6 minute mile. I can keep trying but it will never, ever happen.
 

Ssuper

Active member
Nov 8, 2017
130
110
43
Maybe you should forget about what you’ve read( because it ain’t working) and just be yourself. If your average looking and have a decent income there are tons of women out there for you. Skip clubs and bars and focus on dating apps.
 

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
52,923
11,155
113
Toronto
His point is not wrong though. If the OP approached 80-90 women (likely an exaggeration) and got rejected every time, he is obviously doing something wrong. He needs to learn from his mistakes, try different strategies and / or places to meet people. Another thing to realize is that some people just don't want to be bothered no matter how confident, charming, etc you are.

IMO, a lot of his failures are coming from a negative attitude. The more you say that it's a waste of time, women are only looking for this or that, etc then the more difficult meeting people becomes. Negativity turns you into a bitter person and other people can sense it. You can't be confident when you're negative on the inside.

I think a few people have said that you should not give a fuck, which is only partly true. You must not care about what other people think of you because you have no control over it. You must give a fuck about you and be constantly working on it. Finding success in dating is just like finding success in any pursuit. You have to be willing to play the long game and commit to continuous improvement and experimentation. It could take months, days or years, but you can't skip that process. And you must continue that process especially after you meet quality person.
Agree.
 

superstar_88

The Chiseler
Jan 4, 2008
5,655
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He already said he's socially inept and has social anxiety. Most women avoid those traits in a partner like the plague.
Unless you're filthy rich
 

superstar_88

The Chiseler
Jan 4, 2008
5,655
1,220
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All women are hypergamous by nature. This will not change. Women do hold an advantage in the sexual marketplace. A very wise man gave me some incredible advice "As a Man you need to chase excellece and not chase women". Once you achieve excellence women will follow.
Build it and they will come
 

superstar_88

The Chiseler
Jan 4, 2008
5,655
1,220
113
There are many, many theories about how to date successfully. However, finding a life long, or even long term successful relationship is largely a matter of luck and perseverance. The more valuable skill is the ability to pull the plug on relationships that are not working so that you can go out and buy another lottery ticket.
Truer words have never been spoken
 
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