I wouldn't feel guilty about it or think of it as some huge secret you are carrying around. In terms of the financial progress part if you cant afford it them you definitely shouldn't do it. You really need to find a hobby to fill the void and keep yourself busy for the first few months while you develop a new habit. Also set up auto withdrawal into an investment account so you dont have the spare money easily accessible for the hobby.
Looking for advice on how to stop seeing esorts
- Thread starter skoose
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I don't think seeing SP's is immoral provided the ladies are doing it of their own free will (which has always been the case in my experience). Part of me does like doing this illicit thing no one else knows about. The problem really is that I enjoy it so damn much. If I had unlimited money and there were no health risks I'd probably visit SP's twice a day, every day.
In terms of giving me balance, I think that's true to a degree. It definitely provides a release and is much more sexually fulfilling than masturbation. But if I didn't know SP's existed and was just jerking off (like in my teens) I'd be completely balanced without it.
Thanks for your feedback.
If you're looking to quit for the sake of your financial situation (although, to be honest - no offence intended - I think that's just a cover for some other reason that may not be so obvious to you and will require some soul searching) set a goal. Say to yourself that every time you get money, you will immediately separate X% of it to put towards an RRSP or something like that.
When I've wanted to get things under control with the hobbying, that's how I've done it - just leaving enough to cover bills and investing the rest. No it doesn't completely solve things and the temptation will still be there but without the money to partake, you'll be forced to wait until you get more money in.
Skoose I really think it comes down to you making a conscious decision to stop seeing them. In your place I would look in the mirror and ask myself if I truly want to stop seeing escorts.
I've been hobbying for years and I've made some really good connections along the way. Now I'm starting to experiment with BDSM. I'm just having a lot of fun with some really incredible women and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.
I've been hobbying for years and I've made some really good connections along the way. Now I'm starting to experiment with BDSM. I'm just having a lot of fun with some really incredible women and I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.
Terbites participate in this hobby for different reasons. Some are lonely, some like the variety and others use it to fill voids in their life. I personally tried to stop multiple times without success. i also told myself that maybe i'd get bored and stop one day, that that was a lie. what worked for me was therapy. pm me if you want more details. This hobby is very addictive and can get out of control if not careful. take it from a guy who participated over 10 years.
See Butler1000's comment, '..man up and take control of your life...'
I remember my drinking days. I'd tell myself, this is my last case of beer, but on and on it went. One day, I though of my health and what it was costing me. I just made a decision and quit. I had the cravings for months after. But I thought of the money I was saving.
I remember my drinking days. I'd tell myself, this is my last case of beer, but on and on it went. One day, I though of my health and what it was costing me. I just made a decision and quit. I had the cravings for months after. But I thought of the money I was saving.
This sort of like AA for sex addicts, I have heard that it works:
https://thebridge-can.com/connect/freedom-session/
https://thebridge-can.com/connect/freedom-session/
Find something/someone else to occupy you. I've had no problem staying away from this hobby while dating a civvie or if work/life has been real busy in other regards. Ironically, I find it harder to stay away from TERB than it is to stay away from SPs.
Set up automatic withdrawals to some type of untouchable investment. If your money goes straight from your pay check to someplace where you can't touch it, you will have no choice but to cut back or stop.
The rationale part of my brain wants to stop. That's me most of the time. It's when I'm turned on that I sometimes use bad judgement and make the call/text.
I once thought that I should quit, it’s a waste of money, it’s risky for my marriage, it’s possible to contract an STI. I’ve rationalized all these concerns and I am now at peace.
1) waste of money: Fuck me! What is discretionsl money for if not to enjoy life. Are you going to wait until your retired? maybe sick? No! If you can afford it do it!
2) I finally came clean to my spouse (and oddly enough to the kids) . It was accepted and understood that I do this, but I still keep it very discreet
3) STI concern: I’ve studied the data and I’m pretty comfortable with the very, very low risks involved when you play safe. Sex also gives you a decent workout and unlike squash, the injury rate is almost zero.
4) Finally I come in contact with young hotties all the time at work and I cannot engage due to professional reputation risks.
The hobby keeps me from doing something stupid that can destroy my reputation and possibly my career.
I think 2-3 x per month is a totally reasonable hobby frequency. Guilt is not a rational reason to stop what you enjoy.
And let’s stop calling it an addiction if it’s not hurting your health, your ability to engage in normal relationships, and is not a financial burden.
1) waste of money: Fuck me! What is discretionsl money for if not to enjoy life. Are you going to wait until your retired? maybe sick? No! If you can afford it do it!
2) I finally came clean to my spouse (and oddly enough to the kids) . It was accepted and understood that I do this, but I still keep it very discreet
3) STI concern: I’ve studied the data and I’m pretty comfortable with the very, very low risks involved when you play safe. Sex also gives you a decent workout and unlike squash, the injury rate is almost zero.
4) Finally I come in contact with young hotties all the time at work and I cannot engage due to professional reputation risks.
The hobby keeps me from doing something stupid that can destroy my reputation and possibly my career.
I think 2-3 x per month is a totally reasonable hobby frequency. Guilt is not a rational reason to stop what you enjoy.
And let’s stop calling it an addiction if it’s not hurting your health, your ability to engage in normal relationships, and is not a financial burden.
