To the OP,
I share my own experience with you,too. I'm in my late 50's. Married for 30 years. The first 10 years was wonderful with kids and all. Then, the middle 10 years was hell! Lots of infightings and hatred. The last ten years to the present? I can't ask for a better partnership as we grow old together. LOL!
The point here is that you can't take the forum seriously with whatever you planned to do with your future. I was in a similar situation like you. Spent a lot of times 'thinking' of how to divorce the right way, or spent times on the internet and talked to people for advices on divorce. Then, lo and behold it hit me that I SPENT so much times TRYING TO DESTROY A MARRIAGE. Why can't I spend the same amount of time to SAVE my marriage? So, I guess you want to be honest to yourself why don't you want to 'being married'? Will you remarry after divorce? You also mentioned that she is great and all. What's the itch to get out? Happiness being single again? Be careful for what you wish for. The grass is not always greener on the other side,imho.
Perhaps,can you ask her for a separation if all things failed? See, if you can survive without your wife and kids? I would keep the lawyers away as long as I can if I were you. Can't stand the thought of them sucking all of my hard earned money!
Copy that. I too am in my mid fifties, and I married in the mid 1990's. Marriages have their ups and downs. If the kids are small you have to cut your wife some slack. For me, the first several years were good, then they were not so good. At 50 I spoke to one of my male relatives, several years divorced, and he asked me lots of questions. At the end of our conversation he basically said I should give my head a shake.
Also, many years ago I read a feature article in Toronto Life about the trials and tribulations of life in the city. It profiled several families that lived in the city, then sold their homes and moved outside the city. I remember that besides reaping a financial windfall, one of the couple's home life and marriage improved, for the reason that they no longer had to cope with living in the city- mainly traffic and what it does to people. Perhaps you or your wife are one of the people that apart from work and sleep, spends more time in your car than anything else, not just driving to work and back, but also driving the kids around to their piano lessons etc. This is not good, and it puts a strain on yourself and on your marriage. As for me, the last several years have been good, both of my kids are in uni, so they are out of the house, and mainly we are retired so there is no outside stressors. The sex is 'meh' but it's not as much of a priority as it was. Wifey looks after me in every other way. Furthermore, many researchers have found that middle age is a time when people are least happy- probably because kids are teens and parents are thinking about their future, your job can be stressful, and lots of other reasons I'm sure. Try to make it through this period. Life does get better. I'm sure you have heard this many times, but it's still true- work on yourself. If your marriage is not dysfunctional, then put on your game face and make it work.
P.S. I remember a comedian joking (?) to his friends- "now that I'm married I can get laid all the time." Then after his divorce he said "now that I'm divorced I can get laid all the time."
