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If a person cannot or will not acknowledge being incorrect or at fault, or....

thirdcup

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2005
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Directly above the center of the earth
...if they insist on getting the last word in, how do you deal with it? When it's your partner, your parents, children, in-laws, out-laws, friends, boss, subordinates, co-workers ? Do you react with a one size fits all, or does it depend on who is being this way? Discuss.
 

oldjones

CanBarelyRe Member
Aug 18, 2001
24,489
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If you can't tolerate letting those pitiable losers at least have the last word, perhaps you should seek more expert counselling than here on TERB.
 

mynameisearl11

New member
Aug 16, 2011
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vaughan
It's true you cannot change people based on your expectations. But, you CAN change yourself. Check your ego. Practice on your listening skills. That is, if you can listen to what you're saying and what others are saying. Give people chance to speak without your prejudice. If you can control your EGO then you will go along way interacting with people around you. Took me more than 50 years to learn how to...grow up! LOL
 

lomotil

Well-known member
Mar 14, 2004
6,495
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Oblivion
...if they insist on getting the last word in, how do you deal with it? When it's your partner, your parents, children, in-laws, out-laws, friends, boss, subordinates, co-workers ? Do you react with a one size fits all, or does it depend on who is being this way? Discuss.
There is no universal solution to this problem. You answered the question yourself that it depends on who is doing this and why? Tact and diplomacy is necessary. If "everyone" is doing this then perhaps the problem and solution is to be found by looking right at the person in the mirror.

“A man convinced against his will
Is of the same opinion still”

― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People
 

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
51,379
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Toronto
There was only one time when I was wrong.

I thought that I'd made a mistake.
 

Parker@TDL

@ParkItInParker_
Feb 9, 2018
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Unless they're family then why give a fuck about them? Say bye and move on!! I have no tolerance for unreasonable people.
 

thirdcup

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2005
1,341
113
63
Directly above the center of the earth
It's true you cannot change people based on your expectations. But, you CAN change yourself. Check your ego. Practice on your listening skills. That is, if you can listen to what you're saying and what others are saying. Give people chance to speak without your prejudice. If you can control your EGO then you will go along way interacting with people around you. Took me more than 50 years to learn how to...grow up! LOL
Agreed. This was my opening salvo in the 'What is the best advice you have received' thread. Since receiving said advice I now do much more listening and much less talking, and it's been good.
 

thirdcup

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2005
1,341
113
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Directly above the center of the earth
Unless they're family then why give a fuck about them? Say bye and move on!! I have no tolerance for unreasonable people.
Wayne Dyer, in one of his books from the 80's expressed that there are people who treat strangers better than members of their own family. I'm sure we've all seen this. We get what we tolerate.
 

mynameisearl11

New member
Aug 16, 2011
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vaughan
There's never a problem unless you made it into a problem. It's your perception or your interpretation of events facing you. When you start to realize not to sweat over small stuff you will be more relax and friendly toward most people. Serenity is my calling card these days. Make love instead of making war.
 

Parker@TDL

@ParkItInParker_
Feb 9, 2018
503
35
28
Wayne Dyer, in one of his books from the 80's expressed that there are people who treat strangers better than members of their own family. I'm sure we've all seen this. We get what we tolerate.
It's not the needing to get the last word in but the not taking responsibility of their wrong doings. I don't tolerate that in anyone except my family members. I don't understand the treating strangers better than your family....Unless your family is terrible, then fuck 'em!!
 

Ref

Committee Member
Oct 29, 2002
5,116
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web.archive.org
...if they insist on getting the last word in, how do you deal with it? When it's your partner, your parents, children, in-laws, out-laws, friends, boss, subordinates, co-workers ? Do you react with a one size fits all, or does it depend on who is being this way? Discuss.
Varies:

* Partner: Tell them straight up unless I really need to get laid and then stay nothing until I am satisfied.
* Parents: Put up with it as they are old and time is precious.
* Children: Raise them right to begin with and this issue rarely surfaces.
* In-Laws: Respond with bizarre, twisted insane responses - That usually throws them off. If partner freaks out, then make excuses to leave when they are around.
* Friends: Tell them straight up and be sympathetic.
* Boss: Try to discuss in a professional manner. If that does not work look for a new position or job as a boss with these behaviors usually sucks and high performers will not stick around or put up with that shit.
* Subordinates: Tell them straight up and be professional.
* Co-workers: Tell them straight up and be respectful.
* Others: Tell them straight up or respond with bizarre, twisted verbiage.
* TERB Members in the Politics Section: No one is like that.
 

rhuarc29

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2009
9,650
1,294
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Get used to it. The world is becoming an ever more polarizing place where everyone believes, with unshakeable faith, that they are correct.
One of the most important traits to have these days is the ability to be introspective. It's rare.
 
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LT56

Banned
Feb 16, 2013
1,604
1
0
Send them a text message and then block their number.

Problem solved.
 

thirdcup

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2005
1,341
113
63
Directly above the center of the earth
It's not the needing to get the last word in but the not taking responsibility of their wrong doings. I don't tolerate that in anyone except my family members. I don't understand the treating strangers better than your family....Unless your family is terrible, then fuck 'em!!
This is interesting. Do I understand that you're willing to give your family a pass on behaving badly? I can think of a few people in my life who I think would rather die than admit to being wrong. To me it's quite simple, admit to your mistake then do your best to fix it, and don't make the mistake again. My oldest sister doesn't get that. A few times I all but demanded she take ownership of her behaviour, but at best it was conditional apology "I'm sorry if I offended you." If you did wrong you should apologise for your behaviour, without conditions. That's what taking ownership means.
 
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