Is this considered a "relationship"? What is a relationship in the SP world?
- Thread starter chafien
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The easiest question is what happens when you remove the $$$ exchanged ? Is she still going to go to dinner with him ? If not then it’s all about the money. She might enjoy his company ... to a point but if there is no cash flow than likely all the other stuff dries up too.
So many people use the real or fake dichotomy when it comes to SPs and have a “Your paying, So therefore, it’s not real.” logic. Everything is real within the boundaries of business.
It think that using the dichotomy is helpful because without it, some guys start to believe it is more than just a business transaction.
It is funny that when money is involved it is only "her" that is doing the "using"..... like I really think that concept is fucking hilarious.
It seems it should be a professional/personal relationship until they sit and discuss what they want from it. For example leave it like it is or; do they want to get more serious and move in together, compare net worth and income.,she quits escorting, they think about marriage, etc. At some point one party has to get the nerve to approach the other and ask where they think they are headed.
If sex is paid for, he's a client. Granted, he's got a better business relationship with her than other clients who pay for social time, but they aren't in a relationship since money is exchanging hands for sex. You could call it a friendship since I'm sure many people here hang out with people whom they pay when the person performs a professional service for them (e.g. lawyer, tradesman, etc.). Had a buddy who did some electrical work and gave a huge discount.
The real test is do they ever hang out and have dinner where he doesn't pay? Do they ever have sex where he doesn't pay? IMO a bit of a blurred line in that when dating, there's many guys who would pick up the dinner tab. I'm guessing though they wouldn't be paying for sex should it occur.
I hesitate to say he's being used. In theory he's saving a ton by not paying for her time but still, not a real relationship with $$ involved.
The real test is do they ever hang out and have dinner where he doesn't pay? Do they ever have sex where he doesn't pay? IMO a bit of a blurred line in that when dating, there's many guys who would pick up the dinner tab. I'm guessing though they wouldn't be paying for sex should it occur.
I hesitate to say he's being used. In theory he's saving a ton by not paying for her time but still, not a real relationship with $$ involved.
She never considered you a client but still accepted money? Wonder what her definition of "client" is...
I would like Dawnlee to explain why your not going "to to find her in this world" (real loving relationship with SP)? I realize the age difference is often too great. But let's say both are 30, he is getting established in his profession, is a nice guy and is serious about the SP. Or what about the young "temporary" SP just in it long enough to pay for her education and meets fellow student client. He unacceptable because the initial meeting was business? I see no differenced between clients and SPs as fellow human beings. In fact many escorts may be nicer women than many nonescorts. Sure she probably
would quit escorting at some point. Everytime this comes up for discussion the answers always the same. Can't happen. SPs must have either have low self esteem or negative opinion of all clients. In fact it's a little insulting that a client's not good enough, that the guy has to come from the "outside" world.
would quit escorting at some point. Everytime this comes up for discussion the answers always the same. Can't happen. SPs must have either have low self esteem or negative opinion of all clients. In fact it's a little insulting that a client's not good enough, that the guy has to come from the "outside" world.
Wow such and interesting thread and NOWHERE near as black and white as it would appear. Nadia, I like what you said, let the girl lead because at the end of the day someone ALWAYS likes/loves someone more than the other, just happens to be the cold hard truth. Nobody can definitively answer the question of whether it's a relationship or not except the 2 people involved in it. OP, why doesn't "YOUR FRIEND" just ask? If there is ANY type of relationship, this would actually be a fairly easy question. It's just like you can love someone and be IN LOVE with someone else. There are really no easy answers, but I truly like the input the girls brought to this thread for sure! Honesty will be paramount in ANY relationship right? (how many of us are honest to our wives about our hobbying?) Also, Jessica, you're absolutely right, I know AT LEAST half a dozen girls who pay for EVERYTHING for their deadbeat boyfriends/husbands, what is it called then? The sad part is a lot of these girls will exploit the same way and STILL pay for everything for the guy that doesn't deserve even to be in the same city as the girl. It's a vicious circle and many times it works itself out when one person finally feels that the advantage is clearly swinging too much one way.
Great question! OP Love the discussion!
Great question! OP Love the discussion!
Well said.
I do think it's possible to find that in the industry, but there are so many headwinds that it's extremely rare. And everyone loves to think that they are the exception.
I'm still in contact with two ladies (retired) from the industry. One devolved into mere friendship when she was still working and has simply carried on that way since. The other started regularly on the clock, and progressed to off the clock when she retired. Eventually it too devolved into friendship. But it could have been more if we were willing, but we weren't at the same point in our lives.
So I believe it IS possible. Just unlikely. And anyone who can't tell the difference between professionalism/friendliness and true interest has no business being in the hobby.
That's what I thought as I was always clear that although we really liked each other and cared for each other that we were just good friends, which is why it through me that she was so upset that I was seeing other SPs. She knew I was seeing other SPs in general, but really reacted badly when she knew I was seeing another SP on a "regular basis" as I never hid the fact I was seeing other SPs, I just didn't discuss other SPs with the SP I spend time with in a middle of a session as my attention is strictly with the SP I'm with.
Now you know why I had to stop seeing her
