Is this considered a "relationship"? What is a relationship in the SP world?

[chafien]

Is this considered a "relationship"? What is a relationship in the SP world?

A buddy of mine got into a "relationship" with a dancer/sp. Basically he got dances with her exclusively at the strip club, eventually became a regular of hers. Then they started talking outside of the club and he took her on dates where he paid of course. Then they had sex in a hotel where he paid as well.

Now they are at a point where they meet up once or twice a week on dinner dates. He covers her dinner. Sometimes, she buys him clothes and gives him gifts. They text several times a week.

They don't have sex that much now but if he wanted to have sex she would charge him.


Is this considered a relationship? What is a relationship in the SP world?

Does being an SP warp how you view relationships? I'm sure as an SP, you can have "relationships" where the guy is paying you and covering for everything you 2 do, so why even get into a "free relationship"??

 

[Josephine Grey]

I am personally a very square person as it comes to my relationship. I would quit the business if I met someone worth it, ect.. So in my "square" point of view, if he pays that's business but she kinds of like him probably if he doesnt pay for Time + dinner. Not to many sp's Do that. She friendzoned him, that's for sure.

 

[anon1]

It's a pseudo-relationship. Accept it as it is or leave it.

 

[kstanb]

no,
it is a "highly rewarding loyalty program", a good business relationship between sex worker and customer. nothing more

 

[mandrill]

A buddy of mine got into a "relationship" with a dancer/sp. Basically he got dances with her exclusively at the strip club, eventually became a regular of hers. Then they started talking outside of the club and he took her on dates where he paid of course. Then they had sex in a hotel where he paid as well.

Now they are at a point where they meet up once or twice a week on dinner dates. He covers her dinner. Sometimes, she buys him clothes and gives him gifts. They text several times a week.

They don't have sex that much now but if he wanted to have sex she would charge him.


Is this considered a relationship? What is a relationship in the SP world?

Does being an SP warp how you view relationships? I'm sure as an SP, you can have "relationships" where the guy is paying you and covering for everything you 2 do, so why even get into a "free relationship"??

It's an exploitative relationship that he should get out of, unless he's very rich and very easygoing. If he's got a million $ to spare and he doesn't mind being a sugardaddy, he's okay, I guess. Ditto if your friend doesn't take it seriously and he's just trading cash for fun and a social life and knows what he is about.

It's hard to believe that the girl hasn't figured him for a sucker. Maybe it's benign, as in "John's a sweet, generous guy and he's so nice that he takes care of me". Or maybe it's just a matter of draining him and then moving on.

Having had "hybrid" relationships w working girls myself, it can also be soul-destroying if everything is about $$$.

 

[Sharemyinkwell]

Well for clarity sake we're talking about a client/SP seeing each other on a regular basis, not a sugar baby/sugar daddy arrangement right? Even though in the OP's situation involves time with a dancer.

In any case, my belief is that if an SP and a client see each other regularly (I.e. weekly... bi-weekly ... etc), I would assume that they enjoy each other's company otherwise, the SP would have no interest in seeing the client and the client would have no interest in a repeat visit. So suffice to say that there is definitely some positive chemistry going on here that is nurturing and evolving to another level. I would call this a relationship by definition as they care about each other, not so much as boyfriend/girlfriend but as good friends who enjoy each other's company which includes intimacy.

When engaging in such an intimate time together, it would be silly to think that there is no connection between them and often that connection is on several levels. Therefore, I think it's safe to say that this is a relationship. There's nothing wrong with having this type of relationship as it's ok to care about someone as a dear friend. The risk is having this relationship evolve to something so emotional that jealousy and possessiveness can take over and this is when it gets convoluted and somewhat dangerous.

I have been seeing 3 SPs on a regular basis for a number of years now and I care about these women as I would care about any dear friend of mine. However, I have always been clear about what our boundaries are as it eliminates any complications. It would be akin to FWB in chemistry and connection only.

This has always been clear for me as I experienced the negative firsthand. I met an SP about 12 years ago and we saw each other frequently, bought each other gifts and we were generous with each other (me with gifts and her with going well over time, sometime all day or an overnighter). Anyway, three years into our "relationship", she found out that I was seeing another SP on a regular basis and she became very angry and felt hurt as though I betrayed her; making me feel as though I was cheating on her. Although, I always known where our relationship stood, I had no idea that she felt this way about me other than being really good friends. In spite of my confusion, she made it clear to me that she never considered me to be a client and didn't think that I was like "all those other men".

This sobered me up very quickly and I had to end our "relationship" immediately.

This is why I make things very clear at the very beginning when things start to evolve into a long standing client/SP relationship.

All this to say that it can sometimes feel magical, but it also can take an emotional toll on either party when one's feelings evolve to the next level while the other views the relationship as it was intended. Either way, there's a person being affected here and it's only fair that it be handled with care and respect.

 

[anonemouse]

He's a valued client, but it isn't a relationship in the traditional sense.

A relationship in the traditional sense, for an SP, is the same as it is for everyone else. If he has to pay for everything, he's a client at best.

 

[superstar_88]

He's a valued client, but it isn't a relationship in the traditional sense.

A relationship in the traditional sense, for an SP, is the same as it is for everyone else. If he has to pay for everything, he's a client at best.

Some husbands pay for everything. Is that not a relationship then?

 

[Aardvark154]

Some husbands pay for everything. Is that not a relationship then?

But it isn't the same. If he says I love you let's go to bed and she expects him to pay. . . . That isn't the same at all as a Civie relationship.

Rather whether he sees it or not, this is being a favoured client, nothing more.

 

[superstar_88]

FWB. With her the benefit is the cold hard cash.

 

[malata]

sounds like marriage

 

[LT56]

It’s a client/sp relationship sexually but otherwise they sound like friends who enjoy each others’ company.. It sounds like they like each other and enjoy time together.

He pays for dinner but she’s not charging him for the time beyond that. They text regularly.

I don’t think she’s exploiting him. It sounds like he is a regular client and they hang out off the clock otherwise.

If the sp was only interested in money I’m sure she could make more by spending her time with other paying clients and not wasting her time at dinner and texting the guy.

 

[frankcastle]

They are 2 adults who spend time together and occassionally exchange money, gifts or sex.

Is he paying any other girls? Or is he exclusively spending money on her?

How much does she charge for sex?

I recall some stripper quoting me insane take out prices and that was 20 years ago.

Idealized date simulation?

 

[belette68]

A buddy of mine got into a "relationship" with a dancer/sp. Basically he got dances with her exclusively at the strip club, eventually became a regular of hers. Then they started talking outside of the club and he took her on dates where he paid of course. Then they had sex in a hotel where he paid as well.

Now they are at a point where they meet up once or twice a week on dinner dates. He covers her dinner. Sometimes, she buys him clothes and gives him gifts. They text several times a week.

They don't have sex that much now but if he wanted to have sex she would charge him.


Is this considered a relationship? What is a relationship in the SP world?

Does being an SP warp how you view relationships? I'm sure as an SP, you can have "relationships" where the guy is paying you and covering for everything you 2 do, so why even get into a "free relationship"??

You're kidding right?

 

[Josephine Grey]

Some husbands pay for everything. Is that not a relationship then?

No lol its being pimped but softly Specially if you pay for everything and you have to get sex elsewhere.

 

[The "Bone" Ranger]

"See, I have this friend..."

A buddy of mine got into a "relationship" with a dancer/sp. Basically he got dances with her exclusively at the strip club, eventually became a regular of hers. Then they started talking outside of the club and he took her on dates where he paid of course. Then they had sex in a hotel where he paid as well.

Now they are at a point where they meet up once or twice a week on dinner dates. He covers her dinner. Sometimes, she buys him clothes and gives him gifts. They text several times a week.

They don't have sex that much now but if he wanted to have sex she would charge him.


Is this considered a relationship? What is a relationship in the SP world?

Does being an SP warp how you view relationships? I'm sure as an SP, you can have "relationships" where the guy is paying you and covering for everything you 2 do, so why even get into a "free relationship"??

 

[Jasmine Raine]

so why even get into a "free relationship"??

bingo!

 

[oral.com]

It sounds very much like a classic SD/SB relationship st this point. Where it eventually goes only time will tell.

 

[chafien]

It's an exploitative relationship that he should get out of, unless he's very rich and very easygoing. If he's got a million $ to spare and he doesn't mind being a sugardaddy, he's okay, I guess. Ditto if your friend doesn't take it seriously and he's just trading cash for fun and a social life and knows what he is about.

It's hard to believe that the girl hasn't figured him for a sucker. Maybe it's benign, as in "John's a sweet, generous guy and he's so nice that he takes care of me". Or maybe it's just a matter of draining him and then moving on.

Having had "hybrid" relationships w working girls myself, it can also be soul-destroying if everything is about $$$.

Allow me to rephrase:
When he goes on dates with her, e.g. dinner, he pays for the food only and doesn't have to pay extra.

It's when they have sex when he has to pay additional $$.


This is just coming from what he tells me. I am thinking it isn't explicitly mentioned :
e.g. (NOT THIS)
Her: You can take me on dates for free but sex you gotta pay
Him: Ok

but he just usually pays for the dinner and paid additional for $$ for sex

 

[anonemouse]

Allow me to rephrase:
When he goes on dates with her, e.g. dinner, he pays for the food only and doesn't have to pay extra.

It's when they have sex when he has to pay additional $$.


This is just coming from what he tells me. I am thinking it isn't explicitly mentioned :
e.g. (NOT THIS)
Her: You can take me on dates for free but sex you gotta pay
Him: Ok

but he just usually pays for the dinner and paid additional for $$ for sex

Clearly, it's a business relationship.