Maybe that's not your experience, but it's possible to get along with some that you see regularly.
when a client gets obbessive
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:rofl: CS you hit the nail on the head.
Very true GB. Its just that some here don't believe you can be friend's with a provider without having a motive. Why?
There's a lot of generalisations here again.How little you know, In fact with some of them I know their real names Lol But maybe in your case what your saying might be true.
Obviously for maybe 95+% of the clients this is true. Nothing surprising here what you said.
What is surprising is that you fail to realize that like minded people do form friendship sometimes even if it has started as strictly clients.
True friendship happen when you least expect it, and when they do, the ones that grow as friends know how to recognize signs of true friendship vs. fantasy and know how to cultivate this if both parties choose to.
Just because in your world, all you see the industry women as widgets does not mean this is true for all circumstances.
If your statements held ground then how do you explain true platonic friendships. How do you explain guys on this board going to their MPAs wedding and still keeping in touch and happy for one another without the sex. Just because in your mind you can't imagine and recognize does not mean this is actually how it is. How do you explain that I still keep in touch with some MPAs and they know I quit hobbying and want to be with the wife. We still talk, there is no exchange of money, and we share interesting discussions, POVs and still maintain some level of connection. How do you explain that I still keep in touch with some hobby guys who have quit terb completely, and now we share stories about our kids growing up. Do I secretly want to fuck them, pleazze...this is what ture friendship is about, no hidden underliers. How do you explain that I still keep in touch with an MPA who retired and we had a deal never to mention her past life. She now shares her family photos with me and we share our lives at a distance.
This is exactly what I am talking about. Guys like you are so closed minded that you only think your world exists, and that everyone needs to see the world how you see it. Just ask your self some fundamental questions about your own life and you will realize why you see the world the way you do.
Amusing sidebar - at work a common issue that has arisen about sales and account managers is that they "go native" and start siding more with their clients (read: now friends) vs. the best interests of the company, in particular with respect to raising prices on those clients..
So cynical wazup. Not everyone has the same motives. I'd be very surprised if the majority had the motives you claim all of them have.
Ahhh. I would say that depends. I have "friends" who get pissed off if I have a differing opinion. I have friends who respect that don't agree and value my counsel when I'm being brutally honest. In the context of the biz, it's quite interesting how it plays out. Some girls just get used to being on a pedestal all day. They want sycophants. Others find candor, especially from someone who they believe actually cares, to be refreshing.
Mental health issues and personality disorders are way more common than many people realize, and I'm not just referring to clients, I've met a few clearly unbalanced sp's in my travels. The feel good vibes about friendship in this thread is glossing over the fact of how irrational some people are. Ask yourself: does this person have a lot less to lose then I do, if everything goes sour. If the answer is yes, then tread very carefully.
Always the same guys talking the same lovey dovey stuff, they are the guys that say in their reviews how they lost track of time or she wasn't a clock watcher, when she was just being nice and letting him stay, under her breath she was saying 'when is this guy leaving'?
Has there ever been any women on the board who have ever validated how they supposedly stay in touch with old clients or is it always johns claiming this?
Has there ever been any women on the board who have ever validated how they supposedly stay in touch with old clients or is it always johns claiming this?
It's certainly possible to cultivate a friendship. It's just not something that happens after having an hour or 2 in the sack and you decide you are friends. I think that's where the issue that some guys have is they think a few hundred dollars gives them that kind of access. No reason that any 2 given people can't become friends over time, regardless of the circumstances in which they met. And let's be honest, some ladies like to play the "friends" card, so they can call on you to come see them when they are slow, or make you feel special so you do shit for them.
You seem like an amazing person, I'm sure we could become great friends ... I absolutely share your attitude and it has made me rich in every way possible !!
Cheers mate !
Karma - You reap what you sow tough guy, keep being closed minded, cynical and self absorbed ... and good luck with your success romantically and financially, but sadly I'm betting 100% on your demise.
I'm sure they would be candid about this, but fortunately given the circumstances, its bad for business.
He's 100% right. Someone usually get's hurt. I know a few ladies that have had obsessive clients and it has never ended well. And they never had a problem until this guy. It's the same thing people say when their dog mauls someone.
My advice would be a limit on the number of sessions over a set period of time, listen about his personal life but don't talk about your own, especially anything negative (last thing you need is a self-appointed rescuer), never talk about how another client treated you bad (brings out possessive and protective traits) and no contact between sessions unless it's related to booking another session. Basically keep it fun and light.
These boundaries still allow for a very significant amount of intimacy and friendship....during paid sessions. Full stop.
Otherwise it's just a matter of time before some poor schmuck is crying and cutting himself in front of a collage of your pictures on his bedroom wall.
But...but....I stood outside your window in the rain holding a ghetto-blaster over my head playing sappy 80's music.Sorry to hear that Amber. I have also had clients become weird or even turn on me because I didn't want to get as close as they wanted or become their girlfriend or whatever the hell they wanted from me.
It only makes them look sad and pathetic.
Sorry, emotionally weak men actually give me a little bit of wood and I want to make them my women. I know that's really messed up and I'm getting help for it.
I've been privileged to become friends with some of the SPs I've met over the years — lived with one for three years, back in the day — and there are a few, now retired, with whom I stay in touch via Facebook. The very best guide to being friends was written by Rebecca Richardson, and you can find it (you'll need to scroll down to her post at http://www.datebecky.com/ramblings/ called "An Open Letter to Partners of Companions." I can't recommend this highly enough — incredibly sensible, well thought out, instructive and really, really well written.
Yep. That is why I never really bothered to ask for references. I mean no offence to the ladies here that do but I never felt references did anything for me. I've almost never had a problem with a first-time client. It is the ones that you know for a little while and they seem perfectly normal and sweet and then one day something goes wrong. The dog analogy is a good one.
