If you're looking for a real relationship, then this is definitely not a good sign. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but both parties need to work on making the other person feel good about themselves. Both people need to be treated like a million bucks. If it's one-sided, then you might as well stick with escorts.
DDG vs. GND but makes you happy - relationship advice
- Thread starter blueadonis
- Start date
This. Not to say that a beautiful woman cannot also be intellectual but often many (not all!) are used to getting by on their looks. When they start to age, they struggle.
I have met gorgeous looking people (both men and women) who drove me insane after conversing for two minutes. I've bedded really hot guys and couldn't wait to go home afterwards. "Sorry, I have to get up early" LOL
Somebody just needs to weigh her, then go buy her that much in gold! Then head off to explore The Seven Seas while hobnobbing with "C Suite" exec-types!
Or some psychotherapy?
Perhaps too late to this thread but I'd say that it depends on your goals. If it's a long term relationship, then seek the one who you have a physical, mental, AND emotional connection with.
Another piece of advice that helps to sober me up is this... marry a woman who you want your future daughter (if you want kids) to be like.
Another piece of advice that helps to sober me up is this... marry a woman who you want your future daughter (if you want kids) to be like.
100% agree.
To the OP: Looks fade and marriage is a piece of paper. Forget both acronyms and find the woman that you love and want to be with. (She should feel the same of course.)
For me? I went from the high school GND to DDG to DDG (all multiple year long-term relationships) to randoms and ended up with the fun cute/GND wife... I thought I nailed it perfect, but things change. She's a great person and I have fantastic kids, but we're not for each other.
In between DDG #1 and #2, I randomly reconnected with GND #1 for a bit when we saw each other years later... I've yet to recapture those electric sparks that I had with her when we reconnected... The air zapped around us and I felt she 'got me'... I was horny and moved on for more pussy. Many years later I regret it...
I recommend listening to Kenny Roger's song 'The Gambler'.
I thought it was Socrates!
Prolly was him too, Imma suspecting he had bigger tits than Jesus.
I have to weigh in on this topic. It's been on my mind for weeks so if I don't express myself it will drive me nuts. Basically, I'm casting my lot with the majority. Obviously there's no guarantees, but if you're going to roll the dice, then at least know the odds. Generally, a DDG woman is the way to go if you want arm and eye candy. Candy is good, but not as a steady diet. If you want long term, bet on the GND. There's some support for this, both scientific and anecdotal. One anecdote comes from Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. Among other things she's still trading on her fame. Back in the spring there was the boat show at Exhibition Place(?) and she was one of the celebs to draw people. She was interviewed on Radio 1 and one thing she said she hears all the time when she makes public appearances is from guys who say 'I dated a Ginger but I married a Mary Ann.'
Second anecdote is personal. Back in uni there was a DDG woman in one of my classes, and like they said in Godfather, I was hit by the thunderbolt. I made sure to sit next to her and get to know her. We did things together for several years after. I got friend zoned (before that phrase was even invented). We never dated in the normal sense (ie: got naked), but she was always happy to come over and swim our pool, accept the occasional small gift from me, etc. Even though she always turned down my advances, hope sprung eternal and I was always happy just being around her.
I left town for part of my uni and then did the backpacking thing, so no more regular contact.
When I was away the empty nest was sold, so no more pool.
My time away gave me more worldly knowledge and experience and when I came home she was on the rebound from a relationship that ended. She was vulnerable and we had sex a few times and it was very good. I was living the dream, but that was about it. That's when I noticed that being with this woman after returning became the same pattern as before. Always polite and appreciative, she was still quite happy and gracious to accept whatever I was willing give- dinners, small gifts etc. But that was it. No reciprocity. It was always me who called her, always me who did the work. And frankly, it was no longer enough for me just to have her around. I became tired of always being the giver, and her always being the taker. One day I just stopped calling her to see what would happen. And perhaps you might have guessed- nothing happened, at all. She didn't call me, even once. We used to talk at least once a week, often more. Now several weeks went by, and nothing. Sure I was upset, but eventually I got over her. Sometimes I wondered what she thought of me, if at all. Quite possibly she too busy being lavished with attention from others to notice I was missing from her life.
One of the things about being one of the beautiful people is that others want to be around you, and they make other positive attributions about you. This is also true for men. And thus I admit that I too, fell prey to a pretty face, not to mention some other impressive body parts. So what this amounts to is that people like this often succeed on account of their looks, not because of a conscious decision, but because they've been conditioned to be that way. This woman told me she got hired for a job that she freely admitted she was completely unqualified for. She went to a company that wasn't hiring but the boss caught a glimpse of her when she stepped in to drop off her résumé and he decided right then and there to tell HR to find something for her. She said another woman was working there too, who was also a pretty young busty brunette.
If these people become conditioned to being given things when all they have to do is show up, then don't expect them to become different people just because once in a while you'd like to be the receiver instead of always the giver. Us regular folk are not treated this way, and so we learn that life is about give AND take, not just take.
The scientific evidence is out there too.
Read this. I did. It was an eye opener. There's one reference copy in the Toronto library, but it's also available from Amazon.
Title: Mirror, mirror : the importance of looks in everyday life
by Hatfield, Elaine.
Contributors: Sprecher, Susan, 1955-
Year/Format: 1986, Book , xx, 446 p. :
Subjects:
Beauty, Personal.
Courtship.
Interpersonal attraction.
Mate selection.
Sex (Psychology)
1 copy
Reference only - not holdable
Summary
Mirror, Mirror... examines the hidden truth about good looks. Through extensive research of scholarly studies and popular culture, the authors provide a lively and comprehensive view of what behavioral scientists have learned about the effects of personal appearance. A wealth of illustrations and photographs give visual support to the evidence presented.
The book explores the view that people believe good-looking individuals possess almost all the virtues known to humankind; consequently, they treat the good-looking and ugly very differently. Mirror, Mirror reviews the stereotypes held about people with specific characteristics and it explains the impact of height, weight, and attributes such as hair color, eye color and facial hair on the course of social encounters. The authors show that through time these reaction patterns have their effect and that good-looking and unattractive persons come to be different types of people. To show the relative nature of concepts of beauty, the authors also present examples of what other cultures consider attractive.
I have bared my soul on this topic. Now I will leave you with a song, appropos of the topic.
Second anecdote is personal. Back in uni there was a DDG woman in one of my classes, and like they said in Godfather, I was hit by the thunderbolt. I made sure to sit next to her and get to know her. We did things together for several years after. I got friend zoned (before that phrase was even invented). We never dated in the normal sense (ie: got naked), but she was always happy to come over and swim our pool, accept the occasional small gift from me, etc. Even though she always turned down my advances, hope sprung eternal and I was always happy just being around her.
I left town for part of my uni and then did the backpacking thing, so no more regular contact.
When I was away the empty nest was sold, so no more pool.
My time away gave me more worldly knowledge and experience and when I came home she was on the rebound from a relationship that ended. She was vulnerable and we had sex a few times and it was very good. I was living the dream, but that was about it. That's when I noticed that being with this woman after returning became the same pattern as before. Always polite and appreciative, she was still quite happy and gracious to accept whatever I was willing give- dinners, small gifts etc. But that was it. No reciprocity. It was always me who called her, always me who did the work. And frankly, it was no longer enough for me just to have her around. I became tired of always being the giver, and her always being the taker. One day I just stopped calling her to see what would happen. And perhaps you might have guessed- nothing happened, at all. She didn't call me, even once. We used to talk at least once a week, often more. Now several weeks went by, and nothing. Sure I was upset, but eventually I got over her. Sometimes I wondered what she thought of me, if at all. Quite possibly she too busy being lavished with attention from others to notice I was missing from her life.
One of the things about being one of the beautiful people is that others want to be around you, and they make other positive attributions about you. This is also true for men. And thus I admit that I too, fell prey to a pretty face, not to mention some other impressive body parts. So what this amounts to is that people like this often succeed on account of their looks, not because of a conscious decision, but because they've been conditioned to be that way. This woman told me she got hired for a job that she freely admitted she was completely unqualified for. She went to a company that wasn't hiring but the boss caught a glimpse of her when she stepped in to drop off her résumé and he decided right then and there to tell HR to find something for her. She said another woman was working there too, who was also a pretty young busty brunette.
If these people become conditioned to being given things when all they have to do is show up, then don't expect them to become different people just because once in a while you'd like to be the receiver instead of always the giver. Us regular folk are not treated this way, and so we learn that life is about give AND take, not just take.
The scientific evidence is out there too.
Read this. I did. It was an eye opener. There's one reference copy in the Toronto library, but it's also available from Amazon.
Title: Mirror, mirror : the importance of looks in everyday life
by Hatfield, Elaine.
Contributors: Sprecher, Susan, 1955-
Year/Format: 1986, Book , xx, 446 p. :
Subjects:
Beauty, Personal.
Courtship.
Interpersonal attraction.
Mate selection.
Sex (Psychology)
1 copy
Reference only - not holdable
Summary
Mirror, Mirror... examines the hidden truth about good looks. Through extensive research of scholarly studies and popular culture, the authors provide a lively and comprehensive view of what behavioral scientists have learned about the effects of personal appearance. A wealth of illustrations and photographs give visual support to the evidence presented.
The book explores the view that people believe good-looking individuals possess almost all the virtues known to humankind; consequently, they treat the good-looking and ugly very differently. Mirror, Mirror reviews the stereotypes held about people with specific characteristics and it explains the impact of height, weight, and attributes such as hair color, eye color and facial hair on the course of social encounters. The authors show that through time these reaction patterns have their effect and that good-looking and unattractive persons come to be different types of people. To show the relative nature of concepts of beauty, the authors also present examples of what other cultures consider attractive.
I have bared my soul on this topic. Now I will leave you with a song, appropos of the topic.
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I agree - a lot of times (not always), DDG = smoke and mirrors. Hair and makeup, etc. A woman who can crawl out of bed and put no makeup on and still look cute/attractive is better IMHO.
The movie "Shallow Hal" with Jack Black and Jason Alexander really sums up what this thread is all about. It's a comedy with a clear message about inner and outer beauty.
Personally I find GND beauty far more appealing then the DDG glam aesthetic. Even with girls that look DDG when glammed up, I like them more when they have no makeup on, and no goop in their hair, and at the most, lip gloss and no lipstick.
OK, here is what I theorize may be the way to go:
For a real DDG, I think the key is that THEY for some reason have to crave to be with YOU. If they are using you as a sort of 'OK for now' -type of thing, a place-holder so to speak, then long-term you are toast. someone better will always come along. They will be so used to 24/7 getting complimented, hit on, told how great they are (even if personality-wise they aren't) that, even though they say they don't like it, part of them depends on it, and you are going to be a kind of - 'what's so special about you?' type of guy.
So I think you need to sort of take a hail-mary approach - knowing that you will NEVER make it by grinding it out, doing the typical things, supplicating yourself before her. So do a George Costanza - do the opposite of whatever you normally do. A pre-emptive break up never hurts.
Or try for a bit of the bad boy. Talk loudly and authoritatively about some popular topic and take the opposite view of what you know she has.
For a real DDG, I think the key is that THEY for some reason have to crave to be with YOU. If they are using you as a sort of 'OK for now' -type of thing, a place-holder so to speak, then long-term you are toast. someone better will always come along. They will be so used to 24/7 getting complimented, hit on, told how great they are (even if personality-wise they aren't) that, even though they say they don't like it, part of them depends on it, and you are going to be a kind of - 'what's so special about you?' type of guy.
So I think you need to sort of take a hail-mary approach - knowing that you will NEVER make it by grinding it out, doing the typical things, supplicating yourself before her. So do a George Costanza - do the opposite of whatever you normally do. A pre-emptive break up never hurts.
Or try for a bit of the bad boy. Talk loudly and authoritatively about some popular topic and take the opposite view of what you know she has.
as far as eyes wandering etc - ultimately only love will conquer lust.
think of it this way - if you are scheduled to meet your 7 year old daughter for her birthday party, and on the way home you meet the most gorgeous woman who you think you could lay then and there, you don't do it because of the disappointment missing the birthday party would cause for that little one you love. The pain it would cause someone yo love is more important than lust fulfillment.
think of it this way - if you are scheduled to meet your 7 year old daughter for her birthday party, and on the way home you meet the most gorgeous woman who you think you could lay then and there, you don't do it because of the disappointment missing the birthday party would cause for that little one you love. The pain it would cause someone yo love is more important than lust fulfillment.
If you really want to see what you can get away with and don't mind the karma that comes with it, then hit on and try to fuck the DDG's best friend - provided she's hot. If you do, let the DDG know that you are going to date them both at the same time and see how long you can keep them off balance and going for. Then play them off each other. When they come to their senses, move forward with the GND without telling them.
You'd be surprised what DDG women will put up with when dating an asshole.
As for me, I'm too old for games. I'd just move on with the one that makes me happy
You'd be surprised what DDG women will put up with when dating an asshole.
As for me, I'm too old for games. I'd just move on with the one that makes me happy
youve already told us the answer. One girl is hot, and you are at her feet. The other is attractive and you have a great time together. Within certain limits, mental, emotional attraction trumps physical (if physical has none of the other stuff). DOnt focus so much on looks. WHo do you feel best when you are with them?
