He talks about her quite a bit actually and never in a derisive manner.
He's noticed that due to getting older and putting on a few pounds, which is quite natural, she doesn't feel as good about herself as she used to, despite him telling her he still finds her attractive and pointing out that he himself is not in the same shape he used to be and how that doesn't seem to affect her feelings for him. Why can't the opposite be true? Clearly it's her issue, not his, but all he can do is try to be supportive while she hopefully works through it.
He asked older married male friends about their experiences and has learned that many women in their 50's go through this, possibly due to menopause. Some said that for their wife it was a phase and she came around in her 60's while for others she never came around again. He's really hoping she does showing a genuine caring for her and their marriage. He's also dealing with an aging father that is having trouble accepting his physical limitations and the impact that is having on his mother, both of whom he clearly loves as well. He's not hobbying because he's bored with her and their relationship, he merely needs sexual release or destressing and unfortunately he can't currently turn to her for that and wouldn't want her to do anything she's not comfortable with.
He's fondly reminisced about past experiences with her without going into sordid detail and they still do things together like drive stateside to see a football game and spend the rest of the weekend shopping, etc. In other words, they get along in every way but simply aren't having sex anymore. I have never once sensed animosity from him towards her, only a need to understand what she is going through and concern.
He only ever books a hh, never stays overtime, is always respectful in demeanour and is monetarily generous. I have always known that should the sexually intimate side of their marriage resume, he'll stop seeing me as the need will no longer be there. He only does this occasionally and spends much time with her so felt a second phone too risky. Where to put it that she won't find it as she visits his work, etc.
Ultimately he wants his wife back in her entirety and now that may never happen. Is he responsible? Yes of course, but so is the person he put his trust into for not looking at the bigger picture. She is young and inexperienced and needs to understand the ripple effect of her actions. It isn't about shaming it's about teaching. I take my job seriously and so should everyone. Hopefully lesson learned by all!
