Did i do wrong?

[Jacklyn7]

Generally you and I agree but this time, not so much. You seem to want to ignore my comments so I will say it one more time, the OP was trusted and to SUPERVISE the kids. That is an informal authoritative position, not the same as visiting a random SP at all.

Not a dumb question, people have a problem with the OP fucking someone's young consenting daughter.
I wanted to see if you're okay fucking someone's young daughter who is an escort because I really don't see the difference between the two and wanted to know how you felt.
Thanks for being open with me, it's cool you have a good relation with your kids.

 

[Jacklyn7]

Not really, I work with other SPs, I hear them booking, I hear them screening on the phone, I sometimes even see the men who come in. The majority do not see men under 25.

I disagree, but it's impossible to prove this either way.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

Generally you and I agree but this time, not so much. You seem to want to ignore my comments so I will say it one more time, the OP was trusted and to SUPERVISE the kids. That is an informal authoritative position, not the same as visiting a random SP at all.

Sorry, didn't mean to ignore your point - it's a good one and does change the situation to a degree for me.
Just a little bit though.

Supervised kids at 18 didn't happen when I was that age. Joining the army did.

 

[demien2k5]

Think it's important to separate the issue of sleeping with a willing, consenting adult who just happens to be 18, from the issue of breaking the trust extended by close friends not to cross an inappropriate lines. Frankly, if she's a consenting adult and not being forced/coerced/abused in any way, I have no problem with the sex side of this equation. That said, sometimes in a longtime trust relationship, we need to restrain ourselves from temptation so as to maintain the integrity and trust within that relationship. There are some lines that just shouldn't be crossed for ethical reasons. I think the only thing the OP is guilty of is a temporary lapse in ethical judgement where the trust relationship is concerned. As for the actual sex and the age of his willing adult partner? Based on how the OP described these events transpiring, I don't see any moral issue there at all. No harm done, no foul incurred.

The debate on ethics is an interesting one, but the moral issue of a 35 year old man having sex with an 18 year woman is moot at best on an escort review board, and clearly some people on here can't tell the difference between the two.

 

[pablice]

It's funny because if the roles were reversed and he was 18 and she 35 we would be giving the guy mad props...it's funny that we still treat women unequally in these types of situations. Fact is it is legal for a reason despite what moral trees we sprung out of. I say let people be free to make decisions despite our biased minds assumimg the perverted old man taking advantage of a grown women and they are too young to think for themself. Hey I admit I am not perfect too and many times think flawed like this but am trying to make a conscious effort at fixing it despite the imparement of my clouded mind.

Think it's important to separate the issue of sleeping with a willing, consenting adult who just happens to be 18, from the issue of breaking the trust extended by close friends not to cross an inappropriate lines. Frankly, if she's a consenting adult and not being forced/coerced/abused in any way, I have no problem with the sex side of this equation. That said, sometimes in a longtime trust relationship, we need to restrain ourselves from temptation so as to maintain the integrity and trust within that relationship. There are some lines that just shouldn't be crossed for ethical reasons. I think the only thing the OP is guilty of is a temporary lapse in judgement where the trust relationship is concerned. As for the actual sex and the age of his willing adult partner? Based on how the OP described these events transpiring, I don't see an issue there. No harm done, no foul incurred.

The debate on ethics is an interesting one, but the moral issue of a 35 year old man having sex with an 18 year woman is moot at best on an escort review board, and clearly some people on here can't tell the difference between the two.

 

[Jacklyn7]

I think in this case it s best to listen to older women who can say for sure where their mentality was at 18... just an idea. And I know EVERY 25+year old I have ever met has said the same thing, we were not even half as mature as we thought we were at 18.

It's funny because if the roles were reversed and he was 18 and she 35 we would be giving the guy mad props...it's funny that we still treat women unequally in these types of situations. Fact is it is legal for a reason despite what moral trees we sprung out of. I say let people be free to make decisions despite our biased minds assumimg the perverted old man taking advantage of a grown women and they are too young to think for themself. Hey I admit I am not perfect too and many times think flawed like this but am trying to make a conscious effort at fixing it despite the imparement of my clouded mind.

 

[demien2k5]

I think in this case it s best to listen to older women who can say for sure where their mentality was at 18... just an idea. And I know EVERY 25+year old I have ever met has said the same thing, we were not even half as mature as we thought we were at 18.

At what age do you believe a woman IS in fact mature enough to make her own independent decisions with regards to who she does and does not sleep with? (as you are apparently inferring that 18 is too young to be left alone with an older man without risk and probability of being taken advantage of.)

Keep in mind that a woman can legally drive a car at 16, make a legal decision regarding sexual consent at 16, get legally married without parental consent, and join the military at 18. Would seem to me that if she's considered mentally and emotionally competent enough to do these things at 18 years of age, it would be somewhat contradictory to suggest that making a sexually-oriented decision is beyond her mental capacity at the same age.

 

[CapitalGuy]

Not really, I work with other SPs, I hear them booking, I hear them screening on the phone, I sometimes even see the men who come in. The majority do not see men under 25.

All that means is that the majority of escorts you work with and have heard booking, do not see men under 25. When you heard them booking. IF you actually heard them booking. A course in statistics or economics would reveal to you how meaningless that snapshot (if it really exists) is. Based on our extremely limited interaction with SPs, it's not at all clear that most escorts refuse bookings with clients under 25.

As well, you are making the assumption that those gold-hearted escorts are refusing to boom under 25's because they are worried about protecting the poor children's delicate psychoses. What horseshit. When in reality we know that those escorts who refuse to book early 20's clients do so for other reasons (erections last too long, morelikely to show up drunk, more likely to skip without paying, more likely to no-show, etc. no one believes its because the SP is trying to protect that 23 year old guy.

 

[Jacklyn7]

Please do not put words into my mouth. I was not inferring anything, I am stating that most women agree when they are older that they were not as mature at 18 as they thought they were, at 18. I said nothing about being alone with men, or being taken advantage of. Sexuality is a very individual thing, there is no definitive age when every single person matures. But do not be so naive to think that every 18 year old is equipped to be sleeping with a middle age man.

At what age do you believe a woman IS in fact mature enough to make her own independent decisions with regards to who she does and does not sleep with? (as you are apparently inferring that 18 is too young to be left alone with an older man without risk and probability of being taken advantage of.)

Keep in mind that a woman can legally drive a car at 16, make a legal decision regarding sexual consent at 16, get legally married without parental consent, and join the military at 18. Would seem to me that if she's considered competent enough to do these things at 18 years of age, it would be somewhat contradictory to suggest that making a sexually-oriented decision is beyond her mental capacity at the same age.

 

[Calgacus]

On a site such as Terb you would think the "whatever happens between 2 consenting adults is okay with me" viewpoint would be sacrosanct.

 

[demien2k5]

Please do not put words into my mouth. I was not inferring anything, I am stating that most women agree when they are older that they were not as mature at 18 as they thought they were, at 18. I said nothing about being alone with men, or being taken advantage of. Sexuality is a very individual thing, there is no definitive age when every single person matures. But do not be so naive to think that every 18 year old is equipped to be sleeping with a middle age man.

I re-read your posts in this thread. You seem confused on this whole issue of maturity, independence and choice. You keep referring to 18 year old adults as 'kids', who require direct supervision by older individuals. In almost all cases, the laws of North America disagree with you. I just asked you a simple, straightforward question above, and you have refused to answer. I have also read your comments with regards to Bill C36 - you seem very pro-choice, and staunchly behind the rights of women to decide what they do with their bodies, and with whom. Yet in this thread, you seem to be painting 18 year old women as vulnerable, easily manipulated sexual targets incapable of making sound decisions. Which one is it? Please address the question to help clarify your thoughts, as your outrage over the OPs behaviour appears somewhat contradictory to your other posted opinions.

 

[buttercup]

Why is there always this hand-wringing and knickers-twisting from the boy-moralists on terb, when the subject come up of a guy shagging a girl years younger than himself?

If you personally don't like doing it, don't do it. What is it to you that some guy's comfort zone is not the same as yours?

 

[demien2k5]

Why is there always this hand-wringing and knickers-twisting from the boy-moralists on terb, when the subject come up of a guy shagging a girl years younger than himself?

If you personally don't like doing it, don't do it. What is it to you that some guy's comfort zone is not the same as yours?

If you're referring to me, I think I already stated above in this thread I don't have an issue with it....

 

[CapitalGuy]

On a site such as Terb you would think the "whatever happens between 2 consenting adults is okay with me" viewpoint would be sacrosanct.

Nope. As high-horse judgey as anywhere else on the internet, terbites are. They (we, some of them, some of us) simply don't (or choose not to) hoist aboard that to mainstream Canadian society we are all rapists and creeps in here (even though we know that just ain't the case). But the judgeiness continues. Sigh.

 

[DanJ]

Why is there always this hand-wringing and knickers-twisting from the boy-moralists on terb, when the subject come up of a guy shagging a girl years younger than himself?

If you personally don't like doing it, don't do it. What is it to you that some guy's comfort zone is not the same as yours?

Because he asked.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

I am stating that most women agree when they are older that they were not as mature at 18 as they thought they were, at 18. I said nothing about being alone with men, or being taken advantage of. Sexuality is a very individual thing, there is no definitive age when every single person matures. But do not be so naive to think that every 18 year old is equipped to be sleeping with a middle age man.

I agree.
Same with guys, we weren't as mature at 18 as we are today. But we draw the line and say they are adults. They will make mistakes of their own, that's how they grow.
This one isn't necessarily a mistake if they both realize it was a one-off and simply an experience of the moment. It might help her form an outlook on life she wouldn't have without this experience.

 

[CapitalGuy]

I agree.
Same with guys, we weren't as mature at 18 as we are today. But we draw the line and say they are adults. They will make mistakes of their own, that's how they grow.
This one isn't necessarily a mistake if they both realize it was a one-off and simply an experience of the moment. It might help her form an outlook on life she wouldn't have without this experience.

The nay-sayers are playing a chump's game. They are trying to up the age of consent to 25 from 18. In the end, the girl had sex with a more experienced guy, and 10 years from now she will giggle about it with her girlfriends (or wistfully reminisce about how great it was). The people who think she's somehow emotionally damaged by a one-night-stand are the same people who think children are emotionally damaged when they keep score in a soccer game. Life is hard for them - they should never leave their apartments.

 

[IM469]

Well long story short we ended up going for a skinny dip & she ended up in my bed.I told her up front that it was a bad idea,but at that moment there was no turning back.I woke up in the morning feeling a little ashamed,she told me i was only the second guy she'd been with.

This one convoluted story. At what point did you tell her it was a bad idea, after the skinny dipping, when she entered your bed or when you entered her ? It is beyond belief that you let yourself get in a position of being alone with the girl and then suggest that you had any thoughts of this being a 'bad idea'. Certainly asking the 'kid' if it is a bad idea removes absolutely none of the burden of guilt on an activity which unlike a naive 'kid' - you knew exactly what you were doing.

I have no idea why her asking your age has any bearing on the story other than a mild ego boost - whether she thought you looked younger doesn't change your actual age or in anyway excuse your behaviour - other than reinforce an opportunity for having sex with your neighbour's 'kid'. Your terminology of 'kids' - the whole reaction (similar to the girl being 12), I can't help but think you are a scummy creep that would just as quickly hit onto the 15 or 16 yr babysitter if she started 'flirting' with you.

If you simply 'had sex with a college girl', I would not have thought the same way.

 

[bestman007]

Only thing I'd say that the OP did wrong is not keep in touch with her. It's pretty harsh to be her 2nd lover ever & then not see where the young woman wants to go from here. It comes across like the OP was just using the woman for sex & had a great time but wants nothing else from her.

Even if the OP is not interested in this woman the decent thing to do would be to have this difficult conversation & bring some closure. I think it's the decent thing to do.

 

[theycallmebruce]

Okay let me play devil's advocate. Let say it was a woman in her mid thirties and she has sex with an 18 year old boy. Should this be any different, or do we live in a world of double standards??