While taking a piss in the men's washroom utter silence is required and no checking on another guy's junk!
MAN CODES....let's hear 'em!
- Thread starter r_u_n_v_us
- Start date
The right way to get a hetero man out of a funk, if you're a hetero man:
When with a man friend in some form of emotional distress the best thing you can do is sit there and just chill out. Don't get all huggy and Oprah. If the guy isn't a phychopath maybe pour on some alcohol and let him spill his guts. If the dude needs to talk he'll find a way, otherwise the company / distraction is enough. Ohh, consider adding more distraction with the alcohol by doing something.
When with a man friend in some form of emotional distress the best thing you can do is sit there and just chill out. Don't get all huggy and Oprah. If the guy isn't a phychopath maybe pour on some alcohol and let him spill his guts. If the dude needs to talk he'll find a way, otherwise the company / distraction is enough. Ohh, consider adding more distraction with the alcohol by doing something.
OK, I'll try--
"To a small army of dumb asses, if you find you have a depressed buddy:
1) Try sitting there, 2) Then sitting there with booze, 3) Then try hauling him out after some booze, because many men don't want to hug and talk it out..."
Better, but still not tat or twitterable.
Women you absolutely cannot hit on (unless your name is fuji) :
1. Your friend's ex
2. Your friend's sister
3. Your friend's mother
1. Your friend's ex
2. Your friend's sister
3. Your friend's mother
lol....that goes without saying.....again, unless you are fuji, he'd hit on a squirrel girl if he thought he had half a chance
A friend sent me these, don't know where he got them (I guessing UK)....
TODAY'S TOPIC: RULES FOR MEN!
1. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following Circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into"The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach. And it's delivered by a topless supermodel. And it's free.
12. Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
18. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
19. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.
20. If you complement a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
21. Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a Mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
22. Phrases that may not be uttered toanother man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
23. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
24. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have $ex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
25. You cannot grass on a colleague who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes.
26. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
27. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
28. Thou shalt not buy a car with an engine capacity of less than 1.5 litres. Thou shall not really buy a car with less than 1.8 litres, 16 valves, and a turbo.
29. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange, or sky blue.
30. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me , you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation 3. End of story
TODAY'S TOPIC: RULES FOR MEN!
1. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
2. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
3. It is ok for a man to cry under the following Circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into"The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach. And it's delivered by a topless supermodel. And it's free.
12. Only in situations of Moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.
13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
18. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
19. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.
20. If you complement a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
21. Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a Mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
22. Phrases that may not be uttered toanother man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
23. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
24. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have $ex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
25. You cannot grass on a colleague who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes.
26. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
27. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
28. Thou shalt not buy a car with an engine capacity of less than 1.5 litres. Thou shall not really buy a car with less than 1.8 litres, 16 valves, and a turbo.
29. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange, or sky blue.
30. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me , you'd know what I want!" gets a Playstation 3. End of story
The wingman is not allowed to hook up with a better looking target..than the dude he's winging for!
Wingman NEVER comments on the look of the target!! Not his job!
HOWEVER...he is allowed to state the obvious...SHE'S MARRIED DUDE!....or....SHE ....IS....A DUDE!!!!!
Wingman NEVER comments on the look of the target!! Not his job!
HOWEVER...he is allowed to state the obvious...SHE'S MARRIED DUDE!....or....SHE ....IS....A DUDE!!!!!
It's displacement, not capacity.
And orange is a perfectly acceptable, even desireable colour for a car.
a car can be any colour as long as it's blackIt's displacement, not capacity.
And orange is a perfectly acceptable, even desireable colour for a car.
As to lime green, well, if someone offered you one of these.....
Link to 1 for sale:
http://www.oldride.com/classic_cars/401960.html
