I started writing this as a reply to Andy of Mirage, he was commenting on a thread about Summer (whom I've never met). He suggested that it wasn't really likely for an "old fart" to connect with a young SP. As this is a substantial tangent from that discussion I decided to start a new thread.
As a mid 50s "old fart," I haven't found a problem connecting with young SPs. I'm sure I'm not the greatest sexual performer they have ever encountered, and probably not even on their radar in that sense, so that isn't the kind of "connection" I am talking about. What I find is that if I choose carefully and just be myself, I am able to make my temporary companion comfortable enough to be themselves with me. I always choose companions who are billed as intelligent and as having broad areas of interest, and generally keep to one or two agencies where I have grown to trust the hiring choices. I don't always feel a connection, but I always feel that my companion knows I have respect for them. I DO respect people, and if I am clear that an SP doesn't feel that from me I ask them to leave, full payment in hand. From that fundamental basis of respect, in the best cases it usually takes all of 10 minutes for them to get that I am NOT there to make them into my version of the perfect sex toy - I am actually interested in who they are, what interests them in life, and what makes them comfortable. In fact, I find that the thrill for me is in making that contact. If that wasn't happening regularly, I wouldn't enjoy the hobby nearly as much.
The SPs that I enjoy are in the business for money, for sure, that is given. But they are also here to explore - themselves, men, sex outside of the normal social definitions, and broader questions of life in the contemporary world. That approach to life can be found among bright young people. I have found a goodly number of SPs have enjoyed what I have to offer them, and feel good leaving my place - they feel admired, validated as individuals who have made unconventional choices, and respected for who they actually are.
One line of interpretation of this approach is sure to involve the assertion that I am deluded in my sense that I am connecting at all. This line will suggest that the girls are just talented actors and good at working out what I want as a client. All I can say is that the feeling I have with them is exactly like the one I have with young friends outside the hobby. I work with young people in civilian life, and I have always found that there was a cut of the youth population, both male and female, who were explorers who are attracted to me simply because I am actually interested, and enjoy helping them find and explore alternative approaches to thinking about life. I've given lots of books to these friends, and also to a few of the SPs that I have been privileged to see repeatedly.
I had a conversation with a great favorite of mine last week, she told me that she needs to take a break from all the mind games she gets trapped in with clients. There isn't any sense of physical threat from these guys, more a sense that they come from a place where they need to assert a more subtle domination to feel the thrill ... in a word, they don't have basic respect. Two words.
No doubt that drive to be "the man" is central to a lot of hobbyists. I am sure that most of the money to be made is in providing an environment where people who are not "the man" can pretend that they are. That is the side of things I don't enjoy and don't want to be involved with.
I'm also not into making detailed reviews... I make periodic comments on other reviews where I feel another perspective is useful. I do look at reviews, but actually find that the blow by blow stuff isn't interesting to me. All of that depends on the chemistry between the hobbyist and the SP. I bring my own chemistry to the situation and I don't think it is what a lot of other hobbyists offer. I actually find the broader discussions on the hobby and other topics to be more interesting. So for a lot of you, I am of no use at all.
I'm in the hobby to explore my sexuality, but that just isn't fun for me in isolation from a broader sense of humanity. It is a therapy for me to be in the presence of a beautiful young woman, and it wouldn't be that way without her participation, within the limits of an hour or two of engagement. She really doesn't have to DO any particular thing, she simply has to BE FULLY HERE with me. If I can make the situation an invitation to that, I have done what I can. If she recognizes this possibility, takes up my invitation, and gives herself to the situation, I am thrilled! Mission accomplished!
As a mid 50s "old fart," I haven't found a problem connecting with young SPs. I'm sure I'm not the greatest sexual performer they have ever encountered, and probably not even on their radar in that sense, so that isn't the kind of "connection" I am talking about. What I find is that if I choose carefully and just be myself, I am able to make my temporary companion comfortable enough to be themselves with me. I always choose companions who are billed as intelligent and as having broad areas of interest, and generally keep to one or two agencies where I have grown to trust the hiring choices. I don't always feel a connection, but I always feel that my companion knows I have respect for them. I DO respect people, and if I am clear that an SP doesn't feel that from me I ask them to leave, full payment in hand. From that fundamental basis of respect, in the best cases it usually takes all of 10 minutes for them to get that I am NOT there to make them into my version of the perfect sex toy - I am actually interested in who they are, what interests them in life, and what makes them comfortable. In fact, I find that the thrill for me is in making that contact. If that wasn't happening regularly, I wouldn't enjoy the hobby nearly as much.
The SPs that I enjoy are in the business for money, for sure, that is given. But they are also here to explore - themselves, men, sex outside of the normal social definitions, and broader questions of life in the contemporary world. That approach to life can be found among bright young people. I have found a goodly number of SPs have enjoyed what I have to offer them, and feel good leaving my place - they feel admired, validated as individuals who have made unconventional choices, and respected for who they actually are.
One line of interpretation of this approach is sure to involve the assertion that I am deluded in my sense that I am connecting at all. This line will suggest that the girls are just talented actors and good at working out what I want as a client. All I can say is that the feeling I have with them is exactly like the one I have with young friends outside the hobby. I work with young people in civilian life, and I have always found that there was a cut of the youth population, both male and female, who were explorers who are attracted to me simply because I am actually interested, and enjoy helping them find and explore alternative approaches to thinking about life. I've given lots of books to these friends, and also to a few of the SPs that I have been privileged to see repeatedly.
I had a conversation with a great favorite of mine last week, she told me that she needs to take a break from all the mind games she gets trapped in with clients. There isn't any sense of physical threat from these guys, more a sense that they come from a place where they need to assert a more subtle domination to feel the thrill ... in a word, they don't have basic respect. Two words.
No doubt that drive to be "the man" is central to a lot of hobbyists. I am sure that most of the money to be made is in providing an environment where people who are not "the man" can pretend that they are. That is the side of things I don't enjoy and don't want to be involved with.
I'm also not into making detailed reviews... I make periodic comments on other reviews where I feel another perspective is useful. I do look at reviews, but actually find that the blow by blow stuff isn't interesting to me. All of that depends on the chemistry between the hobbyist and the SP. I bring my own chemistry to the situation and I don't think it is what a lot of other hobbyists offer. I actually find the broader discussions on the hobby and other topics to be more interesting. So for a lot of you, I am of no use at all.
I'm in the hobby to explore my sexuality, but that just isn't fun for me in isolation from a broader sense of humanity. It is a therapy for me to be in the presence of a beautiful young woman, and it wouldn't be that way without her participation, within the limits of an hour or two of engagement. She really doesn't have to DO any particular thing, she simply has to BE FULLY HERE with me. If I can make the situation an invitation to that, I have done what I can. If she recognizes this possibility, takes up my invitation, and gives herself to the situation, I am thrilled! Mission accomplished!
