Marriage

[rgkv]

Caregiver who works and lived next door to me, untill she got let go, came to my house and asked if I would marry her. We have become friends over the years, she speaks next to no English so we used to translate on my P.C., I have been told she is not a poor woman, owns a couple of homes {appartments?} in China, has one son still in China. She is my age, a good looking woman, and I think she would be true...
Told the other caregiver next door who speaks English what happened..."Yes, she wants two things, a good man and to stay in the country...
Not sure what to think, I grow tired of being alone...BUT!!!!

 

[kenpachi]

Once she gets a permenant residence status, why would she need you? I heard that there are lots of hot looking chinese ladies looking to marry a canadian. and as soon as they do, the sex and love stops immediately. they start making long distance phone calls, and next thing you know, her entire family including the man she will marry comes over. It happend to a friend I know.

 

[EntertainmentMan2000]

ask her one question:

Will you love me long time?

 

[james t kirk]

As long as there were no possible economic pit-falls for you, I'd say go for it. If you like her, you never know.

But be careful as far as the economic pit-falls go. You'll be on the hook for her financially, and if you own your own house, and you get married, and she moves in, it becomes "the marital home" and she has rights to it, even if it's in your name and you paid 100 percent of all costs.

The divorce laws in Canada are severely fucked up and if you have any assets, or wealth, you stand to lose.

You would need to find a way to protect yourself financially from all pit-falls.

 

[Aardvark154]

If you decide to. Speak with a Lawyer about a pre-nuptial agreement - and if they advise to get one, she needs her own lawyer who speaks Mandarin or Cantonese which ever she speaks.

Another issue is with her change of status. Under Canadian Immigration Law will you still be on the hook as if she had come to Canada as your bride?

 

[kenpachi]

Caregiver who works and lived next door to me, untill she got let go, came to my house and asked if I would marry her. We have become friends over the years, she speaks next to no English so we used to translate on my P.C., I have been told she is not a poor woman, owns a couple of homes {appartments?} in China, has one son still in China. She is my age, a good looking woman, and I think she would be true...
Told the other caregiver next door who speaks English what happened..."Yes, she wants two things, a good man and to stay in the country...
Not sure what to think, I grow tired of being alone...BUT!!!!

Gamble with the things that you are willing to loose. In a relationship, people tends to loose a lot more than they think.

 

[rgkv]

Yes...the big worry is I own my own home, some assets, some cars etc... I am also in those years where will is wrote, where I want my home to go.....mainly my children, not a new woman....I wouldn't want her kicked out, but when I die i want my kids to get my stuff, not another 10 or 20 years {maybe}when she dies

 

[letsn0twastetime]

Yes...the big worry is I own my own home, some assets, some cars etc... I am also in those years where will is wrote, where I want my home to go.....mainly my children, not a new woman....I wouldn't want her kicked out, but when I die i want my kids to get my stuff, not another 10 or 20 years {maybe}when she dies

How about a prenuptial agreement?

 

[rgkv]

Yes, I can do the prenup thing but again what happens to her when I go, I can't let her be thrown out on the street but it will be time for my kids to get my stuff, not like I say in maybe 10 or 20 years.....shit oldest daughter is already 40 {opps:hippie: let the age thing slip}

 

[IRIS]

Yes, I can do the prenup thing but again what happens to her when I go, I can't let her be thrown out on the street but it will be time for my kids to get my stuff, not like I say in maybe 10 or 20 years.....shit oldest daughter is already 40 {opps:hippie: let the age thing slip}

Maybe she has a few apartment what is come from her previous husbands. All of her husbands died from mysterious food poisoning

 

[fmahovalich]

Have you thought of selling or renting your current house. Move to an apartment and make a go of it. See how things work.

If in fe years they work out, buy your MARITAL HOME, WITH HER HAVING A STAKE N IT, and contributing.

 

[jiiimmm]

Maybe she has a few apartment what is come from her previous husbands. All of her husbands died from mysterious food poisoning

Are you confessing something???

 

[Mikehorn]

She speaks "next to no english", and you're ready to marry her because you "grow tired of being alone"? Seriously man, get yourself a dog or cat. I'm not even being facetious here. They provide more love and loyalty than any human being. If you want companionship that's the way to go. For the sex part, stick to providers.

You sound like a widower who married young and never had any real heartbreak (at least in your adult life) - just guessing. Trust me, now is not the time of your life to be learning such lessons the hard way.

 

[freedom3]

How about a prenuptial agreement?

It's so funny when men think a pre-nup can protect them in a divorce.

 

[danmand]

Chances are that she will treat you very well.

 

[fuji]

I am generally in favour of people giving these sorts of things a try. Watch out for warning signs, protect yourself properly, but you know, some of these women really do just want to settle down and start a family, and they view your citizenship as just one more attribute indicating you would be a good father/husband, like many women are more "attracted" to a guy with money. Maybe it's a little calculating, but their calculation may well envision and long and happy marriage. So what if they are a little more practical about these matters. It's only really in the West that there's this idea that love and marriage should be absolutely independent of any consideration of gain, and even then that's only a recent idea.

BUT....

In this case there are two big red warning flags that stand out here and that I think deserve some careful attention. First, you can't communicate with each other. You can't REALLY have a marriage that depends on using google translate. You might be able to be friends that way, but you HAVE to be able to communicate to have a successful marriage. It's not optional. Marriage is tough enough without having to channel it through an error-prone computer translator!

The second is, did her interest in you really only develop when she lost her job, in other words, when she became desperate? Hopefully there was at least some indication before now that she was contemplating this sort of life with you! Some sort of history of attraction, something beyond just hello neighbour?

Those are my thoughts.

 

[danmand]

Hmmmmm, Fuji lecturing about communication in marriage.

 

[Rockslinger]

I started a thread about the similarities of opposite sex marriage and public sector unions but it died due to apathy.

 

[rgkv]

You sound like a widower who married young and never had any real heartbreak (at least in your adult life) - just guessing. Trust me, now is not the time of your life to be learning such lessons the hard way.

5 children from three women, married twice, last wife mother of none........ figure that one out...LOL

did her interest in you really only develop when she lost her job, in other words, when she became desperate? Hopefully there was at least some indication before now that she was contemplating this sort of life with you! Some sort of history of attraction, something beyond just hello neighbour?

We had become friends over the years, she came swimming, we talked, what little we could, there was always an attraction between us.....

 

[shakenbake]

Hmmmmm, Fuji lecturing about communication in marriage.

never mind. He is speaking very wisely, here.