I don't really believe that. I think you are just very troubled; probably feel like you've been given a bad lot in life. You feel shortchanged and that the "world" owes you. I feel sorry that that's your situation. Maybe you've been through some horrible shit... I don't know. What I do know is that you're the only one that can fix things and one day you'll realize that trying to be a bitch is not working!
If that was a serious question…
To keep my father happy I had to pretend was a Tom boy. I had to pretend I liked being a stock boy when I was 11. I had to pretend I cared passionately about everything he did.
In my part time job I had to pretend that foolish men actually had a clue about the characteristics of the wine they were buying. I had to pretend they impressed me so they would not get offended and stop buying from us.
During most of my school years I had to pretend I did not mind having skipped too many grades and did not mind being treated like I did not belong.
Once I hit puberty I had to pretend I did not know the older boys chasing me were only doing it because I was pretty. I had to accept that my bf’s although older than I in years were not that interesting and had to pretend they were. I discovered I had to convince them they were great in in bed if I wanted them to stay around. I had to pretend to have orgasms.
At university I discovered that I had to pretend the Profs were always right. If I not feed them back their opinions my 4.0 was in danger. Even opinions proven incorrect years before had to be regurgitated on tests, papers, and exams.
When I decided I was going to be an SP to cover my bills I was advised that to make money I had to pretend that I loved being an SP; pretend all my clients were desirable and that I liked them; pretend that they gave me orgasms.
I had to pretend to parents that using multi-dose vials for vaccinations are not a health risk because the vials are more ‘cost effective’.
I discovered a man who loved me as me. Not a pretend me. I could just be me and he still loved me. For the first time in my life I felt safe. And he keeps making me feel safer and safer.
On here, I can speak my mind and do not have to pretend all the time.
I know that men crave to be told they are bright, and sexy, and that we love what they do to us. I do not need to pretend anymore. I can be a bitch.