How many of you GAVE UP on dating figuring your just too undesirable to women?

[poorboy]

I often ask hot girls (both civvies and MPAs/SPs) how often they get hit on outside of work/bars. Their answer, virtually never.

I ask this question from time to time as well. The answer is the exact opposite of yours. They have to beat men off with a stick. In my workplace where the males outnumber females by 3 to 1, and a guy who stands 5'11" and weighs 180 lbs is described as a scrawny little guy, a woman that is somewhat attractive will find someone quickly. Even if she has huge personality flaws.

I have to look outside of work and dating services are useless for me because of this. I got suckered by Lifemates about 10 years ago after paying them a couple of thousand dollars. After they ran away with my money, they told me I would be difficult to match because of my height.

 

[DigitallyYours]

I ask this question from time to time as well. The answer is the exact opposite of yours. They have to beat men off with a stick. In my workplace where the males outnumber females by 3 to 1, and a guy who stands 5'11" and weighs 180 lbs is described as a scrawny little guy, a woman that is somewhat attractive will find someone quickly. Even if she has huge personality flaws.

I do find that many attractive women have "orbiters" (i.e. guys who are interested, but don't show interest because they are afraid of being rejected). These guys are usually guys she meets at work or through friends of friends. They are not guys who hit on her randomly like at a Starbuck's. I've seen gym bunnies (those girls who spend all day at the gym) surrounded by orbiters. Is she fucking any of them? Unlikely. I think hot girls get lots of male attention, but the number of those guys who actually step up to the plate is low. When I ask those girls how often they are actually hit on and asked out, the answer was virtually never. When I asked how often they get male attention (like the guy who's obviously staring but doesn't approach), the answer becomes virtually always.

I have to look outside of work and dating services are useless for me because of this. I got suckered by Lifemates about 10 years ago after paying them a couple of thousand dollars. After they ran away with my money, they told me I would be difficult to match because of my height.

And you listened to them? What BS.

 

[mrsCALoki]

Obviously you're more well versed in the subject than a guy who can't even persuade his GF to give him a BJ more often. Sex is your job, all I do is sit in an office and stare at spreadsheets all day.

Was, I made more than enough to pay off all the money I borrowed to finish university in 4 months, then I retired from it.

 

[MuffinMuncher]

Speed dating can be fun. If nothing else, you get to practice a short pitch about yourself that you can then re-use in other situations.

Getting an escort for an hour is the ultimate in speed dating. Cut right to the chase, get everything you want out of a date, and you dont have to deal with her bullsh*t in the morning.

 

[Partyman1970]

I am the OP of this thread & must say pleased how popular it has become & the direction. Some good positive advice. Although some may be a little inaccurate & optomistic, who cares, it is just a convo among hobbiests. I will say despite my personal obsticles there is the factor that at my age there is no single friends, really no prospects. Tried dating sites for a few years with zero success. I read on the net the 2 biggest complaints women have .... 80% of women fear 2 types of guys on dating sites & going to speed dating events: ugly guys & short guys. Ok, so that sure isn't giving me confidents to step out my door.
HEY: for this very popular thread I started do the moderators award a prize..... like free session with s.p.?? LMAO!

 

[DigitallyYours]

I am the OP of this thread & must say pleased how popular it has become & the direction. Some good positive advice. Although some may be a little inaccurate & optomistic, who cares, it is just a convo among hobbiests. I will say despite my personal obsticles there is the factor that at my age there is no single friends, really no prospects. Tried dating sites for a few years with zero success. I read on the net the 2 giggest complains of women.... 80% of women fear 2 types of guys on dating sites & going to speed dating events: ugly guys & short guys. Ok, so that sure isn't giving me confidents to step out my door.
HEY: for this very popular thread I started do the moderators award a prize..... like free session with s.p.?? LMAO!

Dude, I think you are doing what I used to do. I used to think I couldn't ask a girl out unless she showed interest in me first or the deck was stacked hugely in my favour. Like, you wouldn't approach a girl unless you knew for sure she was interested in short guys and looks are unimportant. My guess is that you have a fear of rejection. Why else would you care what the woman's preconceived stereotypes of you are?

YOU ARE A GUY. You choose. You don't need a woman's permission to talk to her. Just talk to her. Make her laugh. Ask her out. You don't need to know if she likes you before you do this. You do not need to know what she thinks of your height/weight/looks/race or whatever else. You do not need to receive any IOIs whatsoever. The only thing you need to know is that you are interested in meeting her. That's it.

 

[afterhours]

Dude, I think you are doing what I used to do. I used to think I couldn't ask a girl out unless she showed interest in me first or the deck was stacked hugely in my favour. Like, you wouldn't approach a girl unless you knew for sure she was interested in short guys and looks are unimportant. My guess is that you have a fear of rejection. Why else would you care what the woman's preconceived stereotypes of you are?

YOU ARE A GUY. You choose. You don't need a woman's permission to talk to her. Just talk to her. Make her laugh. Ask her out. You don't need to know if she likes you before you do this. You do not need to know what she thinks of your height. You do not need to receive any IOIs whatsoever. The only thing you need to know is that you are interested in meeting her. That's it.

what if you are 45 and she is 25? would your advice be the same?

 

[DigitallyYours]

what if you are 45 and she is 25? would your advice be the same?

YOU ARE A GUY. You choose. You don't need a woman's permission to talk to her. Just talk to her. Make her laugh. Ask her out. You don't need to know if she likes you before you do this. You do not need to know what she thinks of your AGE. You do not need to receive any IOIs whatsoever. The only thing you need to know is that you are interested in meeting her. That's it.


Just turn everything into a joke.

Her: How old are you?
Me: Well, growing up, my dad used to take me to school on our pet dinosaur. He worked in a quarry with his friend Barney Rubble.

Her: You're old enough to be my father.
Me: That's right, don't you forget it. Show me some respect. Don't make me come over there and spank you.

 

[DigitallyYours]

The fear of rejection is very powerful. As powerful as peer pressure I'd say.

I learned to not care because quite frankly, these girls don't even know me. I may be rejected because they hated my approach. Or maybe she's busy. Or maybe because she's taken. Whatever.

The important thing is to keep your head held high and walk away with class and dignity. Be cool about it. Don't slink off with a slouch and with your tail between your legs.

Her: "Sorry, I'm taken."
Me: "That's cool, I'm glad to have met you. I hope you have a great day!"

 

[frankcastle]

what if you are 45 and she is 25? would your advice be the same?

I like what Digital had to say. The scenario you present with age is not a problem. Some women prefer older guys, more mature guys, maybe they have daddy issues or whatever..... point is that it's not inconcievable that a 25 year old could find attraction to a 45 year old man..... and that is by just looking at his age as a factor. Wealth, personality, appearance could also be selling points. Hell maybe the fact that his life is sorted out. Some guys her age are in debt, living in parent's basement, still trying to start a career...... maybe she wants a guy who has got his shit togeether. The young guy still needs time.

 

[frankcastle]

YOU ARE A GUY. You choose. You don't need a woman's permission to talk to her. Just talk to her. Make her laugh. Ask her out. You don't need to know if she likes you before you do this. You do not need to know what she thinks of your AGE. You do not need to receive any IOIs whatsoever. The only thing you need to know is that you are interested in meeting her. That's it.


Just turn everything into a joke.

Her: How old are you?
Me: Well, growing up, my dad used to take me to school on our pet dinosaur. He worked in a quarry with his friend Barney Rubble.

Her: You're old enough to be my father.
Me: That's right, don't you forget it. Show me some respect. Don't make me come over there and spank you.

LOL I like the first joke better. The second one could come across as creepy that one walks a finer line and depends of proper delivery.

 

[frankcastle]

Getting an escort for an hour is the ultimate in speed dating. Cut right to the chase, get everything you want out of a date, and you dont have to deal with her bullsh*t in the morning.

MM,

Good to see you! Nice to see an old familiar name.

 

[blackrock13]

MM,

Good to see you! Nice to see an old familiar name.

Except that his explanation bring to mind what a native elder told me sitting around the fire pit one day. He asked me if I knew the definition of a farmer. After some thought and a couple of pops, I gave up. 'A lousy hunter', was the answer.

 

[Serpent]

The fear of rejection is very powerful. As powerful as peer pressure I'd say.

Her: "Sorry, I'm taken."
Me: "That's cool, I'm glad to have met you. I hope you have a great day!"

Dude! You're good!

I'd have mumbled "Lesbian".....but this is better!

 

[Rockslinger]

Old Irish proverb: "Be careful what you want, you might get it." I know of so many busted romances. Nothing more ugly than a busted romance. So, think hard before you approach cutie over there.

 

[mrsCALoki]

what if you are 45 and she is 25? would your advice be the same?

I am mid twenties, hubby will be 60 this year. Need I say more? :eyebrows:

 

[DigitallyYours]

Old Irish proverb: "Be careful what you want, you might get it." I know of so many busted romances. Nothing more ugly than a busted romance. So, think hard before you approach cutie over there.

DISAGREE.

It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

 

[DigitallyYours]

I am mid twenties, hubby will be 60 this year. Need I say more? :eyebrows:

How'd you meet him?

 

[Rockslinger]

DISAGREE.
It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Ok, just make sure you have a pre-nup. Hee, hee, hee. Also, ask her to sign the consent form before you engage in wambo minki. Bad enough to lose at love, you don't want to lose your house too.

 

[DigitallyYours]

Ok, just make sure you have a pre-nup. Hee, hee, hee. Also, ask her to sign the consent form before you engage in wambo minki. Bad enough to lose at love, you don't want to lose your house too.

I shouldn't talk to women because I might lose my house without a marriage contract? That's logical!