I'm actually at a critical crossroad in my life. I'm 35 years old, never married, never been in a relationship.
I think almost daily of what's best for me. I honestly still don't know. I love kids, but don't know if I really would want them. They take a lot of time, energy, and money. Given that I feel tired most of the time from depression, I can see them wearing me down.
I am very cynical. Is the woman going to only marry for her convenience, and just want me to support her? Will she leave me when I'm in difficulty and have no money? Just like a man in his fifties leaves a wife that is no longer young and pretty? Because he can afford to, and what's the point in staying with an old hag when you can marry a younger, better looking woman?
There is the complete freedom that I enjoy, being single. But lately it's getting boring. A lof of things that I do would be a lot more fun with someone special.
It's lonely being single. What will my life be when I'm old and have no one? I think it would be sad. So, then I guess marrying and having kids is a solution. But then, I would be getting married and having kids to cure my own problems, which is selfish. But then, isn't life about doing what's best for you?
My parents are getting old, and they really want to see me married have kids. They want to see me happy. They are great people, and if it would make THEM happy, I would probably marry just for that reason alone. I want to see them die happy. None of my siblings have children or ever will, though one is married. I think it's sad for my parents.
I have never met the right person. There's no point in getting married just for the sake of it, it has to be with the right person. Someone who's sexually attractive, kind, has high morals, intelligent, genuinely cares about me, wants kids, shares similar interests, and whom I enjoy being around with. There aren't many people like that left in the world, let alone those who would reciprocate their feelings of love towards me.
As the clock ticks, I am kind of stoic about the whole thing. I think everything happens for a reason, and we really have no control over our destiny. What happens is what is meant to be. We may not know the reason now, but later on we see the meaning of why things happened.
Maybe one day, out of the blue, I'll meet someone who I will truly love, and we will marry and have kids and live happily ever after. For whatever reason, it hasn't happened. I think that it's god's plan. I have experienced the freedom and loneliness that comes from this lifestyle. I don't know if I want it for the rest of my life. Perhaps when I finally do get married, this whole experience being single will make me appreciate the wife and kids I have. And maybe it'll make me reflect back to the time when I was single, free, and could spend all my money on myself, but was genuinely not happy because I had no one to share my life with.
I do think that if being single makes you happy, that you should remain single. Do whatever makes you happy. Everyone is different, and has different needs.