How to pick up women using a plastic bag and a banana.

[Brill]

And besides which, putting bananas in a plastic bag accelerates the ripening and premature rotting of the fruit. Traps the ethylene gas

I thought it was supposed to be a paper bag, but never understood why. If you put an apple in the bag with the banana it will speed up the ripening.

One reason I stopped buying bananas, I only see green ones on display now.

 

[capncrunch]

I don't see why there's so much hating on the OP. I mean, the grocery store is a great place to meet women. Seriously. Basically, their guard is down because the grocery store is so damn domestic. Not loud like a club or bar. No shit, personally I've met a few women at grocery stores and while nothing long-term has come of it, that's not what either of us wanted anyway.

So instead of calling him a liar, why don't you try it sometime?

Is that a banana in your bag or are you just glad to see me?

 

[Madeline Rhodes]

I never understood why people put bananas into plastic produce bags, they already come bunched together wrapped in a skin. You don't see people putting pineapples into plastic produce bags.
I could make this point to an attractive woman in the grocery store, but I'm sure it wouldn't get me laid.

Actually... Since you brought it up. You will not see me bagging Bananas. You will see me bagging Pineapple. Don't watch how it's made. It's not good for you. Just in case their 10 step cleaning in chlorinated water was a failure... I think I will continue to as well. Thank you for the reminder.

----

Honestly... A woman is polite, and picks up your keys, or helps you with a plastic bag and you think this is indicating she is available to you? Right up there with me potentially having thought the very sweet 20 something guy who climbed the shelves and dove to the back for a bottle of ginger ale for me did it for ANY other reason then to be nice. No. He saw me struggle to reach it... And helped.

Thank you though. It was a good laugh.

 

[69Shooter]

Actually... Since you brought it up. You will not see me bagging Bananas. You will see me bagging Pineapple. Don't watch how it's made. It's not good for you. Just in case their 10 step cleaning in chlorinated water was a failure... I think I will continue to as well. Thank you for the reminder.

----

Honestly... A woman is polite, and picks up your keys, or helps you with a plastic bag and you think this is indicating she is available to you? Right up there with me potentially having thought the very sweet 20 something guy who climbed the shelves and dove to the back for a bottle of ginger ale for me did it for ANY other reason then to be nice. No. He saw me struggle to reach it... And helped.

Thank you though. It was a good laugh.

99.99% of the time guys do something nice for a woman because we're hoping to get laid. The other .01% we're at least imagining it!

 

[Ceiling Cat]

I don't see why there's so much hating on the OP.

Some guys do not see it happening to them, so they say it only happens in the movies and it can not happen to other people.

I mean, the grocery store is a great place to meet women.

The grocery store is a place where women have their guard down. You can see what they are all about in clear light. The way they look during the day, clearly she was in sales or middle management. I could also see that she was a healthy eater and that she was buying for one person.

Seriously. Basically, their guard is down because the grocery store is so damn domestic. Not loud like a club or bar. No shit, personally I've met a few women at grocery stores and while nothing long-term has come of it, that's not what either of us wanted anyway.

So instead of calling him a liar, why don't you try it sometime?

It has worked for me once before by accident, and this time I used the maneuver to engineer the encounter. As I said, it was just two ships passing in the night on both occasions. The proof in the pudding is on the second encounter. I am even tempted to go back and see what the intension of the first lady that helped me twice with the bags were.

Is that a banana in your bag or are you just glad to see me?

To say that she is not interested because well dressed and attractive is to be a fatalist. Sometimes people will not approach an attractive woman because they are afraid of rejection. I opened the door for her to approach me, and she did.

And besides which, putting bananas in a plastic bag accelerates the ripening and premature rotting of the fruit. Traps the ethylene gas

Rubby, I may buy non-perishables in bulk to be smart with my money often paying half price. When it comes to fruits and vegetable I buy fresh and at the market price at that time. The plastic bag also protects you food from bacteria that may be on the check out counter. How hard is it to rip the bag off when you get home? I only buy 4 bananas at a time so they do not get dark on me, and I also bag my pineapples.

No she could be single. Probably bat shit crazy, but single.

Yes, she could be a nut case, but I will figure that out quickly because I am smart as a cat.
Who knows, she may be the opposite and be sweet.

Honestly... A woman is polite, and picks up your keys, or helps you with a plastic bag and you think this is indicating she is available to you? Right up there with me potentially having thought the very sweet 20 something guy who climbed the shelves and dove to the back for a bottle of ginger ale for me did it for ANY other reason then to be nice. No. He saw me struggle to reach it... And helped.

Mady,

This is civilian world, of course you will say that she might not be civilian. I will soon find out. If there is a second encounter. Trust me, I have done this mating ritual several times before. It can and sometimes does happen this way. The age spread can be greater and more acceptable to society when a younger woman meets an older man than it is when a 20 something meets an older woman. Anyways our age difference is not that great.

Going to a bar on Saturday night is to go and try to meet meat. At a grocery store you get a clearer view of what your choices are. She has done the cruise by, now it will be her choice on the second or maybe even the third encounter to give the green light or not.

 

[2canchew]

Actually... Since you brought it up. You will not see me bagging Bananas. You will see me bagging Pineapple. Don't watch how it's made. It's not good for you. Just in case their 10 step cleaning in chlorinated water was a failure... I think I will continue to as well. Thank you for the reminder.

----

Honestly... A woman is polite, and picks up your keys, or helps you with a plastic bag and you think this is indicating she is available to you? Right up there with me potentially having thought the very sweet 20 something guy who climbed the shelves and dove to the back for a bottle of ginger ale for me did it for ANY other reason then to be nice. No. He saw me struggle to reach it... And helped.

Thank you though. It was a good laugh.

your exactly right ,they were being polite and help.
I think it's called Delusions of Grandeur either that or to much porn

 

[Ceiling Cat]

i think i just broke one of my eyes rolling it at your shitty attempt at humour

Sorry about the eye Simon, now you will be looking at people all cockeyed.

 

[Ceiling Cat]

your exactly right ,they were being polite and help.
I think it's called Delusions of Grandeur either that or to much porn

You see, nothing will happen till it happens. She is a well dressed and attractive woman. Let us see what the future brings.

 

[Madeline Rhodes]

99.99% of the time guys do something nice for a woman because we're hoping to get laid. The other .01% we're at least imagining it!

So that is why he blushed when he glanced at my breasts and then hurried off with a smile. ;-)

your exactly right ,they were being polite and help.
I think it's called Delusions of Grandeur either that or to much porn

Oh to live in a world where Porn and the letters from the mens magazines come true. This is very much a...

Dear TERB,

I was in the grocery store today and you will never believe what happened...

Kind of post. Not the first this week though.

Mady,

This is civilian world, of course you will say that she might not be civilian. I will soon find out. If there is a second encounter. Trust me, I have done this mating ritual several times before. It can and sometimes does happen this way.

Going to a bar on Saturday night is to go and try to meet meat. At a grocery store you get a clearer view of what your choices are. She has done the cruise by, now it will be her choice on the second or maybe even the third encounter to give the green light or not.

Oh CC.. You're adorably naive. To presume I have no knowledge of the civilian world. It's an endearing trait... Only seeing what you are hopeful for.

 

[red]

Those that can, do! Those that can't, watch!

Whats so creepy about that?

i don't think that qualifies as a pick up. she didn't even touch your banana

 

[Ceiling Cat]

i don't think that qualifies as a pick up. she didn't even touch your banana

I am not saying that it was a pick up, its all part of the mating dance. These has to be a second encounter before anything happens.

 

[customer]

Of course he needs a second meeting, no contact info yet. Worse case scenario he can date her every Tuesday at the store, they can share a twinkie, or play with bananas.

 

[JustSex]

Can't You Keep A Secret Creepy Cat ???

This is a secret that has worked so well that I have become a vegetarian spending more on vegetables than rent. Well since CC has spilled the details - I might as well fill you in on my foolproof scheme.

I hang out at the cucumbers - not the curled up banana fruit but holding on to a 14" hard specimen with a 2.5 " diameter minimum. I will wait for a gorgeous career woman to come my way carefully shifting my eyes to each side so I am not staring. Standing in the same spot daily massaging the cucumbers could draw attention so I always change the cucumber every 15 minutes to prevent this from occurring.

As the victim draws close my clever plan swings into action. With my arm in a sling, I place the cucumber so it is sticking out between my legs and whip it with the empty bag in frustration. 'I'm a war veteran and I broke my arm carrying three children and a puppy dog through a mine field to safety - please help me ....'

As I hold the cucumber with my hand and the cucumber still protruding from my groin, the hot babe will drop to her knees to get the bag slipped over the end of the cucumber. Of course she cannot get the bag all the way down because I previously glued half of the bag shut.

As she stares up and I look her into eyes, I apologize for the size of my cucumber and that it is always difficult to find holes that fit. By this time she is hot and takes me home to fuck her.

I always saw this creepy guy hanging out at the bananas but now that everyone knows - it's going to get mighty crowded in there

 

[Art Mann]

Rotflmao !!!!

 

[Don Draper]

You can meet a woman in any myriad of possible ways.

I once met a woman simply because our cars were parked next to each other. I couldn't let the moment go.

Another time, at an art gallery exhibition, I started chatting with a very attractive young lady. It was a very good conversation and then later a friend came to meet her. Turns out her friend showed more attention towards me than the original lady. Her and I left together.

There was yet another time while I was parked outside a subway station waiting for a friend that I engaged a lovely young lady in conversation who was also waiting to meet someone. Her friend stood her up so I invited her out to dinner and she accepted.

I ended up dating all these women and of course, bedding them. It doesn't happen with every woman you will ever meet but it is very much possible.

To meet a woman in a grocery store and engage her in conversation with the possibility of a later connection is a perfectly feasible scenario. It has happened often before and it will happen countless of other times again.

 

[red]

This is a secret that has worked so well that I have become a vegetarian spending more on vegetables than rent. Well since CC has spilled the details - I might as well fill you in on my foolproof scheme.

I hang out at the cucumbers - not the curled up banana fruit but holding on to a 14" hard specimen with a 2.5 " diameter minimum. I will wait for a gorgeous career woman to come my way carefully shifting my eyes to each side so I am not staring. Standing in the same spot daily massaging the cucumbers could draw attention so I always change the cucumber every 15 minutes to prevent this from occurring.

As the victim draws close my clever plan swings into action. With my arm in a sling, I place the cucumber so it is sticking out between my legs and whip it with the empty bag in frustration. 'I'm a war veteran and I broke my arm carrying three children and a puppy dog through a mine field to safety - please help me ....'

As I hold the cucumber with my hand and the cucumber still protruding from my groin, the hot babe will drop to her knees to get the bag slipped over the end of the cucumber. Of course she cannot get the bag all the way down because I previously glued half of the bag shut.

As she stares up and I look her into eyes, I apologize for the size of my cucumber and that it is always difficult to find holes that fit. By this time she is hot and takes me home to fuck her.

I always saw this creepy guy hanging out at the bananas but now that everyone knows - it's going to get mighty crowded in there

this could get you into a real pickle

 

[Don Draper]

You're missing Ceiling Cat's secret. It his use of banana's and pretending he can't open plastic bags!

It seems to me that's just a means to an end.

Every conversation needs a catalyst moment in order to commence.

 

[Don Draper]

Really? Is that how it works? <wink>

I don't know yet of a Universal Manoeuvre that works for all.

If this one works for him with success then: all the power to him.

We all have our strengths and weaknesses that we either use to our advantage or work on in order to improve ourselves.

 

[Scenicdrive]

Honestly... A woman is polite, and picks up your keys, or helps you with a plastic bag and you think this is indicating she is available to you? Right up there with me potentially having thought the very sweet 20 something guy who climbed the shelves and dove to the back for a bottle of ginger ale for me did it for ANY other reason then to be nice. No. He saw me struggle to reach it... And helped.

So that is why he blushed when he glanced at my breasts and then hurried off with a smile. ;-)

Is that why you do not wear your 6 inch stilettos so they can help you and you tease them with your nice looking juggs??? LOL!!!

 

[Scenicdrive]

You see, nothing will happen till it happens. She is a well dressed and attractive woman. Let us see what the future brings.

Until you can get the lady to bag your private banana in your pants, shall we say your mission to the grocery store fails. LMAO!!!