Hey all, need some serious advice from anyone, guys or girls!
I was recently using the website sugardaddie to basically try and find a sugar babe to get together with once in a while, perhaps for sex, but also just to hang out with, at least for the next few months until the summer. Most of the girls on the site who were interesting to me lived far away, and the few I met for coffee dates here in Toronto eventually clicked with someone else so I lost out.
One day I casually decided to just ask a girl I had been chatting with on a free online dating site - I put it out there saying I wanted to be a sugar daddy, no more details at all other than the compensation - I did not discuss sex or anything in detail. We exchanged Blackberry BBM and chatted through that for a few weeks. Nothing was really discussed in our chats other than "how is your day going?" etc. I never initiated the conversation - I left it up to her.
One day she messages "do you still want to meet and do that thing we discussed", I said yes, we agreed on a $ amount (she needed to buy a plane ticket for her friend). We met nearby my place (she claims to get lost easily so just met by a subway stop) and walked to my place. At my place, we just chatted, I had the money sitting on the table and said "that's for you". Things just generally proceeded, as you'd expect, a typical scenario we have all had, nothing weird at all. She left afterwards in a bit of a hurry and said she just had to go to her friends, but could come back later if I wanted - I was tired, so said no. She then messaged me saying that she had fun and I would definitely see her again, possibly later that week.
Never heard back from her, never messaged her again until about a week and half later when she messaged me asking if I wanted to get together again. I said sure, just let me know. She then asked if this time we can do things more "safe" because she felt "'weird" the last time. She kept typing about how she was freaked out, going on and on. I kept silent, just reading what she was texting. She then goes on to say that she is "sick" and feels weird, and went to see a doctor, and then says "I'm not trying to make you think anything, but I'm sick". So I want to use a cover for everything, I've never not done anything without protection. I ask "so you never even have given a bj without a condom" she goes "well no, but those are with boyfriends so I trust them". I go ok, well I am sure I have nothing. She says "well to be safe, you should see a doctor too". I say "ok, so what symptoms do you have?"
she FREAKS out. says "why would you ask that? that means you DID give me something and you are hiding it!". "its a criminal offense to do that. If you have papers showing that you have an uncureable disease and you had sex with someone, you can go to jail". This goes on for a while - just hammering away at me. Then she goes "wtf, why are we even talking about this? I just said I have a cold and am sick, why did you jump to this conclusion". all of a sudden she turns nice.
I just kept silent and then said "ok, well so lets meet whenever you feel better". She goes "brb, on the phone".
Never talk to her again - she didn't message me for two days, so I delete her off my BBM because I was so turned off, and didn't want to see her again.
Two days later I get a huge BBM from her (apparantly you can't block people on BBM, just delete them). She says that she has a friend and her brother who are both cops and she is going to go to them, saying that "everything we have done is illegal and I have been saving the convos from day one. You better get a good lawyer!"
I add her back to BBM, make up an excuse to say that I just deleted my contacts by accident, my Blackberry is messing up. She goes "you must be hiding something! I thought you were a good guy, but since you deleted me, you are hiding something, that's not cool"
I politely said "no, i'm not hiding anything, and don't know what you're talking about, i thought when we met it was nice, and was looking forward to seeing you again, the same way you said you were going to see me soon too"
she just wrote back "hmm.. hmmm." . That's where it stands.
I am really shaken up - I don't even know what to do, but I am going to get some legal advice on this, but to me it seems like a stretch - but I guess in this day and age, anyone can claim something and make life hell for the other party.
I have bits and pieces of our convo, and if she truly did save the full convo, there is nothing in there that directly says "i am paying you $ for x, y and z", and even if we did, she agreed to it, and was happy with the decision, and also went out of her way to contact me again asking for it (she messaged me the second time for a second meeting because she said she has "rent due"). So clearly, she is initiating. I didn't agree to the second time at all because she went on her big speech about being sick.
What do I do? One things for sure, staying away from being a "sugar daddy". Never again. One night stands appear to be off the table too, as a girl seems to be able to claim anything (i.e. that guy gave me a disease) even if its not true. This girl doesn't even know if she has an STD, says she is just sick, then just jumps from point A to Z and wants to go to the police??
P.S. she doesn't have my address because we met away from it and walked to my condo using some back entrance/alleyways, and she doesn't know her way around. But she does have my BBM - I agree that this, if enough evidence is there, could be used to retrieve my phone # if the police were to call up the carrier, though it may take a bit for the police to get a warrant to go to Rogers - I know Rogers wont just randomly give up a phone #/customer info without a warrant.
Luckily this girl doesn't know much about me - thank god I didn't book the flight for her girlfriend using my credit card, as she had originally asked me to do when we met up!
I was recently using the website sugardaddie to basically try and find a sugar babe to get together with once in a while, perhaps for sex, but also just to hang out with, at least for the next few months until the summer. Most of the girls on the site who were interesting to me lived far away, and the few I met for coffee dates here in Toronto eventually clicked with someone else so I lost out.
One day I casually decided to just ask a girl I had been chatting with on a free online dating site - I put it out there saying I wanted to be a sugar daddy, no more details at all other than the compensation - I did not discuss sex or anything in detail. We exchanged Blackberry BBM and chatted through that for a few weeks. Nothing was really discussed in our chats other than "how is your day going?" etc. I never initiated the conversation - I left it up to her.
One day she messages "do you still want to meet and do that thing we discussed", I said yes, we agreed on a $ amount (she needed to buy a plane ticket for her friend). We met nearby my place (she claims to get lost easily so just met by a subway stop) and walked to my place. At my place, we just chatted, I had the money sitting on the table and said "that's for you". Things just generally proceeded, as you'd expect, a typical scenario we have all had, nothing weird at all. She left afterwards in a bit of a hurry and said she just had to go to her friends, but could come back later if I wanted - I was tired, so said no. She then messaged me saying that she had fun and I would definitely see her again, possibly later that week.
Never heard back from her, never messaged her again until about a week and half later when she messaged me asking if I wanted to get together again. I said sure, just let me know. She then asked if this time we can do things more "safe" because she felt "'weird" the last time. She kept typing about how she was freaked out, going on and on. I kept silent, just reading what she was texting. She then goes on to say that she is "sick" and feels weird, and went to see a doctor, and then says "I'm not trying to make you think anything, but I'm sick". So I want to use a cover for everything, I've never not done anything without protection. I ask "so you never even have given a bj without a condom" she goes "well no, but those are with boyfriends so I trust them". I go ok, well I am sure I have nothing. She says "well to be safe, you should see a doctor too". I say "ok, so what symptoms do you have?"
she FREAKS out. says "why would you ask that? that means you DID give me something and you are hiding it!". "its a criminal offense to do that. If you have papers showing that you have an uncureable disease and you had sex with someone, you can go to jail". This goes on for a while - just hammering away at me. Then she goes "wtf, why are we even talking about this? I just said I have a cold and am sick, why did you jump to this conclusion". all of a sudden she turns nice.
I just kept silent and then said "ok, well so lets meet whenever you feel better". She goes "brb, on the phone".
Never talk to her again - she didn't message me for two days, so I delete her off my BBM because I was so turned off, and didn't want to see her again.
Two days later I get a huge BBM from her (apparantly you can't block people on BBM, just delete them). She says that she has a friend and her brother who are both cops and she is going to go to them, saying that "everything we have done is illegal and I have been saving the convos from day one. You better get a good lawyer!"
I add her back to BBM, make up an excuse to say that I just deleted my contacts by accident, my Blackberry is messing up. She goes "you must be hiding something! I thought you were a good guy, but since you deleted me, you are hiding something, that's not cool"
I politely said "no, i'm not hiding anything, and don't know what you're talking about, i thought when we met it was nice, and was looking forward to seeing you again, the same way you said you were going to see me soon too"
she just wrote back "hmm.. hmmm." . That's where it stands.
I am really shaken up - I don't even know what to do, but I am going to get some legal advice on this, but to me it seems like a stretch - but I guess in this day and age, anyone can claim something and make life hell for the other party.
I have bits and pieces of our convo, and if she truly did save the full convo, there is nothing in there that directly says "i am paying you $ for x, y and z", and even if we did, she agreed to it, and was happy with the decision, and also went out of her way to contact me again asking for it (she messaged me the second time for a second meeting because she said she has "rent due"). So clearly, she is initiating. I didn't agree to the second time at all because she went on her big speech about being sick.
What do I do? One things for sure, staying away from being a "sugar daddy". Never again. One night stands appear to be off the table too, as a girl seems to be able to claim anything (i.e. that guy gave me a disease) even if its not true. This girl doesn't even know if she has an STD, says she is just sick, then just jumps from point A to Z and wants to go to the police??
P.S. she doesn't have my address because we met away from it and walked to my condo using some back entrance/alleyways, and she doesn't know her way around. But she does have my BBM - I agree that this, if enough evidence is there, could be used to retrieve my phone # if the police were to call up the carrier, though it may take a bit for the police to get a warrant to go to Rogers - I know Rogers wont just randomly give up a phone #/customer info without a warrant.
Luckily this girl doesn't know much about me - thank god I didn't book the flight for her girlfriend using my credit card, as she had originally asked me to do when we met up!
