You are correct. Therefore (as much as I'd like to) I will not accept any freebies (discounts are ok LOL) as this should guide her as to where I'm coming from without having to provide personal information.
moral dilemma
- Thread starter schrodeman
- Start date
As long as his wife is not suffering because of his suffering its ok for him not to suffer because of his wife suffering
Thats an awfully broad statement. How would you feel if your SO had a need that you couldnt meet? Not just sexually, but perhaps emotionally or spiritually? Would you be the one to expect her to suffer? Better yet, how about if your needs weren't being met? How long are you gonna suck it up?
You don't know anything more about this situation than anyone else here, yet your solution is to continue lying. You sound like one awfully selfish fuck to me.
Thank you. Best advice in the thread.
Threads like this are hilarious for all the Oprah-esque advice in them, from both men and women.
Threads like this shouldn't even exist.
"I've got a woman that gives me free pussy (my fantasy) and I'm also happily married. What should I do? What should I do?"
Be careful and keep having fun. What exactly is the problem???
If the situation were reversed, I gaurantee you that your fuck buddy's conscience wouldn't be eating away at her. Women are as cold blooded as they come.
Are you a woman ? Or just another stupid punk that just can't stand other's opinions that don't agree with yours ? Are you aware that this is T.E.R.B. ? If what I suggested made me "a stupid fuck", you should look in the mirror and ask yourself why are you posting here ?
I disagree. You don't have to be slimy to engage in consensual entertainment with an SP, MP, or dancer. In the VIP, the "contract" is clear. She's working and you're there for the show. If you feel that is slimy, maybe you're in the wrong hobby.
On the other hand, if you are "dating" someone, whether or not she's a dancer, you ARE slimy if you misrepresent your situation or intentions. I completely agree with those who have suggested you make it clear you're not interested in a serious or lasting relationship. I also agree that you should avoid letting her know you are married. You should also be very careful about sharing other personal details or giving her ways of tracking you down at home. If the relationships goes sour, she might want to hurt you and telling your wife would be very effective for her and not at all pleasant for you.
I've ignored the slimy comments as we should not judge each other as to why we are hobbyists. My dilemma was just trying to get my head around how to deal with a situation that is based on fantasy where each person involved is probably not being that personal or truthful. I figured dancers and SP's etc should be able to handle just about anything as long as the customer treats them properly. Having said that, I suppose an Sp or dancer can sometimes feel for a customer. As long as one continues to pay, I don't believe one needs to divulge anything too personal, however, it WOULD be wrong of me to accept anything for free if I felt that the other person had stronger feelings and wanted something more then just a fuck buddy.
In my view, there's nothing wrong with accepting her offer to play off-the-clock as long as you don't mislead her about where things might go. It's very likely that, like you, she's not looking for a life partner but she enjoys your company and has fun with you. I've had a few casual relationships with SPs and Dancers and as long as you don't lead them on, you are doing them no wrong (nor they you).
As for your personal decision to hobby while in another relationship, that's not anyone else's business on this board. Hobbying while married is probably the norm for most clients rather than the exception and anyone with any real experience in this hobby knows better than to get involved in judging other hobbyists. We each hobby for our own reasons and anyone who is not intimately aware of our unique circumstances is in no position to make a judgment call.
Thanks for your clear answer. I'm just not sure if I need to tell her that I'm married or would it suffice to say to her that I would only be interested in a casual relationship.
It's probably better that you set the limits without being specific. Be clear about the fact that you are not into a relationship but don't give her any information that could hurt you if things don't work out. You have no idea how she might react in the future and you have to protect yourself. You don't need to tell her you are married to let her know you are not looking for a serious attachment.
lol@ moral dilemma.
There is nothing moral about what you are doing and yes we are free to judge you every which way we choose.
Seriously buddy if you dont realise what you are doing to all parties you are just in selfish denial.
There is nothing moral about what you are doing and yes we are free to judge you every which way we choose.
Seriously buddy if you dont realise what you are doing to all parties you are just in selfish denial.
Bravo. Bravo. Attack me, then attempt to defend being dishonest. If you had read my post, nowhere did I refer to you as stupid. Maybe a long look in the mirror should be in your future. I called you selfish. My question to you would be why are you so hell-bent against being honest? It's quite apparent you that you believe it's only you that's important in a relationship. You never made any attemp to argue my point, rather you chose to attack me. Maybe I should have called you stupid. It now seems to fit. Any names you want to call me, go right ahead. Anonymous internet voices don't scare or offend me. Although my gender makes no difference here, I am a man. Go ahead, take your best shot.
To the OP, remember those immortal words from Shakespeare, "This above all, to thyne own self be true."
Just curious?
What are your plans the first time she wants to go back to your place?
(I'm assuming you still live with your wife.)
Going to my place is not an option. The only way I would continue a relationship outside of the club would be:
a) If she understood that it was just a casual relationship with no chance of developing further ie. freind w/ benefits or
b) I continue to pay for services rendered, even though there is a genuine fondness for each other.
No shit. The guy is already fucking hookers behind his wife's back. All of a sudden there is a moral dilemma because [he thinks] she wants to make it serious. lol
Cut out the bullshit already.
You're acting like a chick that fucks 99 guys but gets cold feet at the 100th guy. Because having sex with 100 guys would make her a dirty slut and that just weighs too heavily on her conscience. She wants to remain pure and have her dignity intact.
