Looks like the SO is REALLY PO'd at me

[HetroGuy]

I'm late also.

I would have suggested before you put on your apron and groveled begging for forgiveness as many recommended - take a serious look at your future and if it really is worth continuing the relationship.

Let's face it, you have almost reached terminal escape velocity with both parties considering options. Many guys dream of getting where you are now. Are you happy or are you just looking for a boost to get back into the ring for a few more years of mutual aggravation ?

 

[tboy]

It's not that I don't do anything...our moto is whoever is home at the time does it, like I said before I cook, do laundry, clean....and when the kids were babies I also changed, bathed,and fed them...no one wers the pants in our marriage we are equal. We had just had a rough go for a few weeks and we both blew up....things are ok now

So, if you do all that, where'd the insult come from? Some deep seated ingrained italian "value" that the wife should do it all?

I have found that when people are tired that is where their true thoughts come out because they aren't quick enough to stifle their thoughts before they say them.......

Put it another way: a marriage counsellor charges $200.00 an hour, molly maid? About $40.00. You decide lol.....

 

[freestuff]

Let's face it, you have almost reached terminal escape velocity with both parties considering options. Many guys dream of getting where you are now. Are you happy or are you just looking for a boost to get back into the ring for a few more years of mutual aggravation ?

This board is good source for one type of advice but maybe not so good for another.

 

[ang]

So, if you do all that, where'd the insult come from? Some deep seated ingrained italian "value" that the wife should do it all?

I have found that when people are tired that is where their true thoughts come out because they aren't quick enough to stifle their thoughts before they say them.......

Put it another way: a marriage counsellor charges $200.00 an hour, molly maid? About $40.00. You decide lol.....

Not at all...like I said...unless people just aren't reading...I DO do it all as well. We both work full time have 3 kids so there's no way I expect her to do it all...we just had a very bad week. And no I am not considering ending the marrige...not for a second, she is my life line and I would be lost without her...my anger just got the better of me...and I fucked up..at least I'm admitting it

 

[rhuarc29]

Admit that you made a mistake, and give a sincere apology. Ask for one more chance.

Tried that myself, didn't work out. Some women are utterly incapable of forgiving and see what could have been a small snag, as a relationship-ending event. I've noticed this tends to go away with age, as women become less about finding the perfect man who is completely incapable of doing anything wrong to finding a man who can keep her happy "most" of the time and who she can forgive his faults.

If your SO is mature enough I'm sure she'll forgive you if you keep at it for a time, especially if what you did isn't a common occurence.

 

[danmand]

Not at all...like I said...unless people just aren't reading...I DO do it all as well. We both work full time have 3 kids so there's no way I expect her to do it all...we just had a very bad week. And no I am not considering ending the marrige...not for a second, she is my life line and I would be lost without her...my anger just got the better of me...and I fucked up..at least I'm admitting it

Anyway, you now know how you can get rid of her, if you ever should change your mind. LOL

 

[randygirl]

Anyway, you now know how you can get rid of her, if you ever should change your mind. LOL

omg! lol

 

[ang]

Anyway, you now know how you can get rid of her, if you ever should change your mind. LOL

LOL...nope I'd probably have an affair...at least get some fun outta it..........she would NEVER forgive me for that

 

[tboy]

Not at all...like I said...unless people just aren't reading...I DO do it all as well. We both work full time have 3 kids so there's no way I expect her to do it all...we just had a very bad week. And no I am not considering ending the marrige...not for a second, she is my life line and I would be lost without her...my anger just got the better of me...and I fucked up..at least I'm admitting it

and you mis-read: I never said end it, I said the next time you get just as busy and stressed, hire molly maid, it will be cheaper in the long run.

BTW: just curious, how old are your kids?

 

[ang]

and you mis-read: I never said end it, I said the next time you get just as busy and stressed, hire molly maid, it will be cheaper in the long run.

BTW: just curious, how old are your kids?

Oh sorry my bad...shoulda been a quote for Hetroguy

they are all under 14

 

[tboy]

Oh sorry my bad...shoulda been a quote for Hetroguy

they are all under 14

well, if they're over 8 they can be helping with the chores...........

 

[Cycleguy007]

well, if they're over 8 they can be helping with the chores...........

You don't have kids do you! LOL

Seriously, I have 3 teenagers and we try like hell to get them to help out around the house as well... but it works a whole lot better in THEORY than it does in practice! They are all supposed to help with dishes, laundry, vacuuming & tidying up etc, and my son does help with the garbage and mowing the lawn etc... but if they spent as much time DOING the chore as they did WHINING about having to do it... it would get done a whole lot faster!

 

[tboy]

oh I hear you about the whining. But (not any comment on your parenting ability) back in the day, and you probably experienced this too, if we complained? A swat upside the head and a week's grounding. PLUS I still had to do the chore anyways so it didn't take long to learn that it was far easier just to do the damn thing......

I forget whose kid it was, he was 12 going on 13. His chore was doing the laundry (mainly his). So he didn't do it for x weeks and ran out of clean clothes. Dad said "well, you didn't wash your clothes so you have to wear dirty ones to school". He was fine with it until he liked said "ewww you stink".....from then on? He always did his laundry........

I know a guy I worked with, his son's duty was taking out the garbage. Not to the curb, just outside the door. So the kid wasn't doing it. So dad took the trash up to his room, slit open the bag and dumped it on his bed. Junior came home, jumped into bed with the lights off and landed in 3 day old leftovers, eggshells, rotting meat, and a great smelly mess. He didn't forget the garbage ever again either......

 

[ang]

oh I hear you about the whining. But (not any comment on your parenting ability) back in the day, and you probably experienced this too, if we complained? A swat upside the head and a week's grounding. PLUS I still had to do the chore anyways so it didn't take long to learn that it was far easier just to do the damn thing......

I hear ya there....I HAD to help with the chores...or else!!!................my kids do their share always willing to help out to a certain degree....if their show is on....NOT RIGHT NOW...things like that. Besides these days.......you can't "swat" your kid

 

[tboy]

I hear ya there....I HAD to help with the chores...or else!!!................my kids do their share always willing to help out to a certain degree....if their show is on....NOT RIGHT NOW...things like that. Besides these days.......you can't "swat" your kid

Actually, you can. I remember reading about a superior court finding that a parent did have the authority and "right" to punish their kid as they see fit. It was in regards to a father swatting their kid......

See, the thing about "their show is on". Like was said to me: did you pay for that TV? No? Well, I'm turning off my tv. Did you pay for that computer? No? Well, my computer is going into my room....etc.

 

[ang]

Actually, you can. I remember reading about a superior court finding that a parent did have the authority and "right" to punish their kid as they see fit. It was in regards to a father swatting their kid......

See, the thing about "their show is on". Like was said to me: did you pay for that TV? No? Well, I'm turning off my tv. Did you pay for that computer? No? Well, my computer is going into my room....etc.

They paid for their own computer

 

[tboy]

They paid for their own computer

and the net access? and the electicity? and the desk it sits on? and the bed? and the room?

I remember a buddy of mine was sitting in the middle of the garage on an old crate. I rolled up on my bike and said: you grounded again? lol...It was the only place his dad would let him sit inside the house....he eventually learned lol.....

 

[ang]

and the net access? and the electicity? and the desk it sits on? and the bed? and the room?

I remember a buddy of mine was sitting in the middle of the garage on an old crate. I rolled up on my bike and said: you grounded again? lol...It was the only place his dad would let him sit inside the house....he eventually learned lol.....

THAT WAS ME...LOL

They do their fair share and yes when they say "not now"........yes now..........

 

[Cycleguy007]

A swat to the side of the head... is a bit drastic... and I would have to literally be at my wits end to raise my hand... but cutting off their internet access is HIGHLY EFFECTIVE! LOL!

Reading your story about the laundry thing reminded me of what happened to my son just a couple weeks ago... he needed his school uniforms cleaned (of course he let them pile up...) and he put his clothes in the washer and started it before he went to bed... with the intention of throwing it in the drier as soon as he got up in the morning... problem is... he forgot! OOPS! It wasn't until he went to get dressed about 15 mins from when he had to leave... and realized all his uniforms were wet! Needless to say he went to school with damp clothes that day!

At the end of the day, getting a teenager to do just about ANYTHING that remotely resembles "work" is a challenge in and of itself!

 

[tboy]

Oh I agree about the work part. Hell I lived with a 42 yr old baby. But hopefully, eventually, they would learn that there is no use arguing....

The dryer thing is just a mistake. Hell, I'VE done that lol....get wrapped up in a movie or whatever and forget about the wash. Now? I put a reminder on my calendar on my computer to beep in 30 minutes......

Ang: did you grow up around st clair? That's where a lot of my italian friends lived......

As for a cuff upside the head. We're not talking about a full swing, twist the hips and blindside them. I'm talking about a "but DAAAAAD ...whack across the back of the head"....hard enough to know they got it but nothing that would leave a mark......

I know a bunch of my friend's big ol italian mammas were deadly with a rolled up towel. Not used as a whip but a club. Made a big noise but no real damage. I know a couple of them would really put their hips into it and my buddy'd go flying....