a rant...my room mate opened my mail

[Miss Maya Blue]

honestly...i *am* considering making a legal case out of it, (though i don't know that it is worth the trouble..but still)
which is why i posted here. he didnt just open phone bills, but other envelopes marked private.

i post cause this is my community, and i appreciate hearing balanced opinions like Gens. it makes me think twice. and at the same time i agree with wha wha wha said in that i feel he should learn some respect for me, and for my business/belongings.

but sheesh. think what you like. some of you folks can be so cynical (about my having a "slow week" and all. just last night i got back from a 3 months touring. not to brag, fair terbites, but my pockets are lined lol. right now, all thats on my mind is unpacking and maybe a trip to the spa )

thanks for the advice

p.s just to clarify, im not in any danger...he is not the violent type. its more so an issue of respect for me, and the cherry on top of a sundae of incidences.

 

[The Oracle]

honestly...i *am* considering making a legal case out of it, which is why i posted here. (though i don't know that it is worth the trouble..but still)

.

You want too make a legal case of this?

If this is your major worry in life then I would say your doing okay.

Drop it and move on.

 

[Miss Maya Blue]

lol..i don't disagree. though this is just one thing among many between us
there is a reason this arrangement is ending.

but yes...a couple hours later and i've cooled down for sure.

 

[Brill]

Let it go and don't bring it up again, you've told him how you feel. Direct the anger into your next painting and then leave it behind for him as a parting gift.

 

[fmahovalich]

there is nothing illegal about what he did.

If he had stole the mail - it is 'theft of mail'

But he lives in the house....stole nuthing.

He could claim an accident...he was drunk..many things...

FORGET IT MAYA.

 

[afterhours]

Interesting. SP's must make waaaay less than i thought.

yeah, I totally thought that I would be an SP in my next life but now I am having second thoughts.

 

[Rockslinger]

If the house is rented, where is the landlady in all this?

 

[Blue-Spheroid]

Which one of you is moving out? If it's you, just go now. At the very least, forward all of your mail to your new address or to somewhere you trust. Based on your statement that you are in strong financial shape, you should be able to afford getting out a few weeks early.

If he's the one moving out and you're staying, it's a bit tougher. Still you could push him to leave early based on his behaviour. You probably want to be careful, though, because he probably has a bunch of dirt on you that you'd prefer he kept quiet.

By the way, what did he actually say when you accused him of opening your mail?

 

[Rockslinger]

When I was young and foolish (but not stupid) and still living with my parents (bless them) and attending school, I rented a post office box and had all my mail go there. Yes, including Playboy. Hee, hee, hee. Insert "Playboy" smilie here.

 

[Miss Maya Blue]

he said he wasnt aware that he did so, and he didnt think it was a big deal anyways...

all rants aside. there is an interesting trend here..some of you seem to think that having a room mate somehow equals not living well. i do contest. i honestly don't care to live by myself. i prefer company. its good for me, and my dog. i live two people in a 3 bedroom house. i have tons of privacy, (the whole top floor to myself) a yard, all for $750 a month. ive lived with friends on and off for years and will continue to do so...

in this day and age being lonely and disconnected is practically an epidemic. maybe some of you terbites would be happier not with an SP in your life but a roomie well maybe that is a stretch.
yes we are having our differences now..but my roomie and i have enjoyed 4 years together and lots of good times. longer then some marriages lol.

 

[xyphy]

a little cooling off period helps sometimes. When it's simmered down maybe confront him with your legitimate concerns and tell him how you feel. If you have a good relationship then he should understand your sincerity and you should be able to work through this conflict.
and then a few hours at hammam!

 

[lmlm]

My roommate read my email. An email I use to email / post pervy things on CL. It was ridiculous.

She is a lunatic and it's the first time I have ever locked my bedroom door when I leave the house. And I've been living with roommates for many years.

I can't imagine having her OPEN my snail mail. I can't picture how this conversation played out Maya...

"Why did you open pieces of mail which were clearly not Bell bills?"

"........"

 

[boogiewoogie]

i love chocolate syrup covered nipples.

 

[WhaWhaWha]

you dont have to take him to court. just change the locks when he is out. end of story. let him go to court to get his belongings back. let him experience los of his home for a day or two or ten -- long enough to learn respect and that access to your home is a privelege that can be lost if he tampers with your mail. make him admit he was wrong and promise not to do it again. not even by "oopsie an accident tee hee"

 

[Blue-Spheroid]

yes we are having our differences now..but my roomie and i have enjoyed 4 years together and lots of good times. longer then some marriages lol.

All kidding aside, if you have had a good history together, this is probably just a bump in the road and nothing as drastic as legal action is called for. Especially since the sharing of accommodations is coming to an end, lose a friendship over an isolated incident.

 

[Moraff]

you dont have to take him to court. just change the locks when he is out. end of story. let him go to court to get his belongings back. let him experience los of his home for a day or two or ten -- long enough to learn respect and that access to your home is a privelege that can be lost if he tampers with your mail. make him admit he was wrong and promise not to do it again. not even by "oopsie an accident tee hee"

If he's paying rent then she has no right to change the locks on him, or at least I wouldn't think so.

As for whomever said there was no crime because he didn't steal anything from the mail... that's incorrect... opening mail that is not addressed to you is tampering with the mail which is a federal offense to my understanding. Probably not worth the hassle of proceeding with it... he's going to be out of your hair in 4 weeks after all.....

 

[The Options Menu]

It depends on how much energy you have to spare on this. Since you're moving out in the near future and already had a falling out with this person, is there really anything productive to be gained by making an issue of it? Unless you think that bringing it up might help making your living situation more comfortable, or salvage your relationship with him, then I would be inclined to let it slide, mostly to save myself the drama and energy it takes to live in a tense environment for over a month.

Been there myself. In most cases not having the conversation / confrontation salvaged the friendship after some period of time. That's only appropriate if you'll ever conceivably have anything to do with the person again... Friends, lovers, or something in between, it doesn't really matter.

 

[massman]

What gen said. Whenever I am upset about something and am considering "making an issue out of it" I ask myself a) am I doing this because I am hurt, or do I really expect compensation b) how much hassle and futher mental anguish will it cause to "make an issue" c) and will I actually be better off if i) best case scenario I get what I want and ii) worst case scenario - I get nothing and what ate the chances of i) vs ii).

More often than not you are better to cut your losses and leave it. You have been wronged, and if this guy has been a friend, it's ok to tell him- calmly and rationally that what he did violTed your trust and privacy. Bu to "make him pay" somehow out of a need for "justice" or revenge is unlikely to work, nor to make you feel better evenif it does.

If you are uncomfortable being there re safety, other trust issues- move out and stay with a friend/ family if possible till the lease is up.

That's my best advice.

Mm

 

[dcbogey]

there is nothing illegal about what he did.

If he had stole the mail - it is 'theft of mail'

But he lives in the house....stole nuthing.

He could claim an accident...he was drunk..many things...

FORGET IT MAYA.

IF the piece of mail he opened was addressed to her, he did break the law.
From the Canada Post Corporation Act (R.S., 1985, c. C-10)

"48. Every person commits an offence who, except where expressly authorized by or under this Act, the Customs Act or the Proceeds of Crime (Money Laundering) and Terrorist Financing Act, knowingly opens, keeps, secretes, delays or detains, or permits to be opened, kept, secreted, delayed or detained, any mail bag or mail or any receptacle or device authorized by the Corporation for the posting of mail."