a rant...my room mate opened my mail

[Miss Maya Blue]

so i came home after 3 months of travel to find my room mate has opened 6 pieces of my mail, including things that, on the envelope, were marked confidential.

i know what he was looking for...bell canada was issuing a check to me as we over paid our phone bill. but the envelopes he opened were not even from bell.

i might typically let this slide, (is it worth the drama?) but honestly, we are not on the best of terms right now. we have been friends for a few years, but just before i left, had a falling out as he refused to pay the phone bill, and was totally inappropriate with me

(6'4 and screaming at me, just inches from my face, until a vein popped out on his forehead)

scary.

we have to live with one another for 4 more weeks.

he would not tolerate this. im considering placing charges. his behavior was inappropriate before, but nothing i could call the cops over. this is. what would you do?

 

[Hurricane Hank]

Let it slide for now, find a new friend.

 

[genintoronto]

It depends on how much energy you have to spare on this. Since you're moving out in the near future and already had a falling out with this person, is there really anything productive to be gained by making an issue of it? Unless you think that bringing it up might help making your living situation more comfortable, or salvage your relationship with him, then I would be inclined to let it slide, mostly to save myself the drama and energy it takes to live in a tense environment for over a month.

 

[chateau]

Interesting. SP's must make waaaay less than i thought.

 

[dreamblade]

Serious breach of trust there. You may have to live with him for the next 4 weeks, but if it were me, I'd consider the friendship irrevocably terminated.

 

[HOF]

Maya,

I have a second bedroom! I'm 5'3 and the only screaming would be the muffled sounds between your thighs! Well, and you screamin' of course

 

[Damondean]

Book lots of long outcall dates!

 

[TheNiteHwk]

If you are actually afraid of him, then I would say move ASAP. Go stay with other friends if possible or need be.

If not then stay... just avoid contact for next 4 weeks... at end of 4 weeks go seperate ways... and keep going.

I doubt very much I would be friends again with someone who broke such boundries. They would have to be someone very special in my life to con't be friends with after such 'violations' to my limits/boundries etc.

 

[Mia.Colpa]

That is a sign he can't be trusted, good thing you found out now. Play the game for the next 4 weeks, pretend like nothing's changed and the four weeks are up, go your separate ways forever and tell him to fuck off. I have no tolerance for people who betray your trust.

 

[DshRipRock]

Another slow week for Miss Maya

 

[tboy]

More than the trust issue (with the mail) if he's trying to intimidate you or threaten you in any way I'd be on the phone with the police asap and get him the heck out of there.

I lived with 2 roomies once and with one, it got to the point where I was walking around with a 10" butcher knife up my sleeve. I told the cops and they came to our work and spoke with him nicely. Of course this didn't work, it just pissed him off further. With you however, being female, they might take things more seriously and remove him immediately.

 

[browsing]

It depends on how much energy you have to spare on this. Since you're moving out in the near future and already had a falling out with this person, is there really anything productive to be gained by making an issue of it? Unless you think that bringing it up might help making your living situation more comfortable, or salvage your relationship with him, then I would be inclined to let it slide, mostly to save myself the drama and energy it takes to live in a tense environment for over a month.

As long as you don't feel threatened, follow Gen's advise. Be civil, keep yourself busy and out of his way, then at the end, go on your merry way

 

[james t kirk]

Another slow week for Miss Maya

Exactly.

Posting an ad in the Independent Escort Section doens't get much traffic like the Lounge.

 

[djk]

Exactly.

Posting an ad in the Independent Escort Section doens't get much traffic like the Lounge.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.

 

[Don]

he would not tolerate this. what would you do

Move out.

 

[fmahovalich]

I am not sure I understand the dilemma. YEs a screaming match occurred on another topic. That happens in all households!!

But you seem to legitimizt the fact he was looking for a phone bill. Was he trying to find it to determine his share? Is it in your name?

And what type of mail did he open?

 

[WhaWhaWha]

You know the old expression, "don't make a Federal case out of it". Well in this case tampering with your mail is a federal offense. Your friend is a criminal. He was tampering with your mail and its clear his intent was to find money issued to you. When he goes out change the locks. Evict him. Let him take you to court. You are right and he is wrong. Maybe a few days in a shelter or another household where he is not in control of his privacy will teach him some respect.

 

[Rockslinger]

what would you do

1) I would sleep in my new used car that I bought in Quebec. Good thing the weather is warmer now. Hee, hee, hee. Insert "used car" smilie here.
2) Roommates are the lowest life form on the face of the Earth. Hee, hee, hee. Insert "roommate" smilie here.
3) Hope one of the opened envelopes wasn't marked: "From Sir Gaylord Rockslinger". Hee, hee, hee. Insert "opened envelope" smilie here.

 

[CapitalGuy]

You know the old expression, "don't make a Federal case out of it". Well in this case tampering with your mail is a federal offense. Your friend is a criminal. He was tampering with your mail and its clear his intent was to find money issued to you. When he goes out change the locks. Evict him. Let him take you to court. You are right and he is wrong. Maybe a few days in a shelter or another household where he is not in control of his privacy will teach him some respect.

I'd bet such an accusation would not go far in this instance. The guy simply has to say that he was looking for a cheque that Maya wanted him to deposit in her account, that she had told him to keep an eye out for it, that she knew this would have required him to open her mail, that he thought Bell used a third-party to issue cheques so he didn't know what the envelope would say. Since they live together and since nothing was stolen, I doubt police would persue this after interviewing Maya and the guy. Minor occurrence and no damages, with slim to nil chance of conviction since a half-assed lawyer could drive a truck through the charges, so the cops would not be likely to proceed.

 

[goalie000]

Get a Hotel for the Next Four weeks, definately move out before it gets worse.