Are you attracted to all ethnicities equally, or are you like John Mayer?

[CapitalGuy]

Its a catch 22, really. I think the word racist may be technically accurate here, but it is such an emotional and charged word that it probably shouldn't be used in this case. The connotation is all wrong. He may not want to have sex with a black woman but he may not blink or even consider it a factor when he hires a black manager or a black lawyer or a black guitarist or reads a book by a black author or votes for a black politician, or goes golfing with a black guy or sells a song to a black musician, etc. He's not really racist, in the traditional and popular use of the term, is he, in that example? So I don't think calling him a racist for not wanting to have sex with a black woman is all that fair. Technically correct? Maybe, but grossly misleading. Unless he has a history of other "racist" behaviour or opinions. He probably just sees black women as another flavour of woman - blonde, brunette, redhead, black, asian, native, BBW, spinner, barbie doll, little boy girl, arabic, latina, etc. Who knows?

And, FWIW, I don't think I have ever even heard a John Mayer song, so I'm not just defending him for the sake of it. And, my personal preferences run HIGHLY in favour of women of colour, any colour. Yum. I can't imagine not wanting to take a dark-skinned woman to bed. But, chacun a son gout.

 

[blopar]

I am not attracted to all ethnicities equally, nor am I attracted equally to all women within any particular ethnicity.

And I am definitely not like John Mayer.

 

[Don]

Certain physical attributes are the biggest differentiator for me in terms of what turns me on. It doesn't matter what race a girl is, as long as she has these attributes. But certain races tend to have them more than others, hence I will generalize by race. For example, I love women with long legs in proportion to their body. They don't have to by tall, just the ratio has to be in favor of her legs. Asian women tend to have shorter legs in proportion to their bodies. Hence that factored into a comment I made that I don't find asian women generally attractive. But of course if I do find an asian woman with long legs, then hell yeah!

 

[toughb]

I beg to differ. This board is the perfect illustration that a lot of what we take for "personal preferences" are informed by racial beliefs about certain races, both in terms of sexuality and appearances. Just have a look at the numerous threads whether a popular SP is a "real" East Indian, and the generalizations and assumptions about what a "real" EI looks like. Or the numerous comment about how "asian women know how to treat a men", which is very much informed by colonial ideas about asian women being naturally/culturally submissive and docile. Same goes for ideas about white women, EE women, black women, etc.

This is not to say that it is wrong to have personal preference, or that one should go against their sexual preferences for the sake of being politically correct. But I think it's absurd to believe that our preferences come from a social vacuum, as if the ideas that inform the society we live in do not affect our sexuality.

Just look at porn. Don't you see a pattern in the ways that women and men of different races are being portrayed? Don't you think that those images inform at least to a certain extend where our preferences are coming from?

***

"The question is, are you like John Mayer, or are you equally attracted to women of all races and ethnicities? "

To answer the question directly, the answer is no and that applies to virtually everyone.

Your comments are valid and of course I respect them but your application of life goes far to far.

I could go back and argue that babies have no fear, no prejudices, no fear of expression.etc. Life instills a lot of what we do and how we act in society. All of that's a given but is all of this directly relevant to the question at hand. I think not.

I am white. There are certain white personalities, body types etc. in our little white community that I don't like and don't associate with.

Does this mean I'm a racist. Certainly not.

...

 

[333conan]

John Mayer is a fucking idiot. And talk about over rated. Yes he can play guitar, but his lyrics and singing are complete shit. I can't wait until his 15 minutes are up.

 

[HOF]

John Mayer is a fucking idiot. And talk about over rated. Yes he can play guitar, but his lyrics and singing are complete shit. I can't wait until his 15 minutes are up.

I think that you'll be waiting quite some time!

 

[Scarey]

I don't think he's a racist.He definitely could have used a difference analogy.I think he was trying to make a joke that was not very funny.

I will say that over my time in the relationship game I have learned that women will say very passionately that no matter what it is....or how bad it can be...all they truly want is honesty.....and I've learned to lie very passionately over the suggestion of that"truth".

 

[fuji]

I'm all for doing a world tour.

 

[jiiimmm]

any one, male or female, who claim that they are attracted to all ethnicities equally is a liar. Everyone has their preferences and has every right to persue them without being labled a racist.

 

[hinz]

Don't know or care who John Mayer is but the Times article below pretty much explain everything,

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/09171196376800

The only "mainstream", white ladies who are genuinely falling in love with Asian dudes, regardless of the perceived "shortcomings" down there are the daughters of the Christian Missionaries.

In simple English, she was brought up as an egg (white outside, yellow inside). There are tokens of white female "eggs" compared to more than handful of white male "eggs" who are really, really into the Asian thing.

On the other hand there are many male "Bananas" and "Oreo cookies" who have challenges to date your mainstream white Ladies....when they make a conscious decision to expand the horizon in the dating scene

BTW, do not confuse to those white, non-EE/Latino SPs/MPAs who have preference to see East Asian dudes. It's nothing more than valuing those clients due to relatively generous "tips". Not so sure for the South Asian brothers since there are quite a number of negative comments from those SPs/MPAs.

 

[ig-88]

Someone can label Mayer a racist if they want to, and they could argue that it is truthful in this context.

The question is, who is doing the labeling, and what is the intent. Is it done to defame Mayer, to the point where it costs him customers?

That's why this is such a stupid stunt on Mayer's part; he should NOT have discussed this with a reporter if he cares about selling records.

OTOH, if he perceives a negligible effect on his business, he's in the clear.

 

[big.guy_13]

I am attracted to lighter skin colours. In other words, there is no attraction to black women. White women are my ideal. Asian is also ranked highly by me. The darker the girl is, the less I am interested.

So long story short, I would say I am similar to John Mayer, but not identical.

 

[Aardvark154]

the portrayal in porn of some groups, well thats porn not the real world. . . or any other of the nonsense that porn sometimes puts forth.

You mean that it's really not true that 20 year olds are desperate to jump into the sack with and marry 50 year olds.

.

 

[genintoronto]

well thats porn not the real world. I dont think all black guys have big weiners and are predators towards white women, that all Asian women are submissive and scream like a kitten being tortured during sex or any other of the nonsense that porn sometimes puts forth.

Of course. And I think most people understand that porn is fiction. But that doesn't prevent many guys to come here on Terb asking if there's someone who does X, Y, or Z just like in the porn clip they just watched. And PSE services wouldn't be that popular if porn didn't have any effect on our sexual preferences.

So, if we agree that porn as some influence on the formation of our sexual desires, I don't think it's such a strech to think that it also has at least some influence on who we are attracted to. And given that porn is full of racial stereotype (like many other media production and society in general), I don't think it is such a strech either to think that our sexual preferences in terms of who we want to fuck are informed by those ideas which are circulated in porn and society more generally.

 

[hinz]

Of course. And I think most people understand that porn is fiction. But that doesn't prevent many guys to come here on Terb asking if there's someone who does X, Y, or Z just like in the porn clip they just watched. And PSE services wouldn't be that popular if porn didn't have any effect on our sexual preferences.

Never fully understood what PSE service really is even though I used to watch porn occasionally...when there weren't flooded with all pornstars having outrageous boob jobs and self-inflicted scars, aka annoying tattoos.

So, if we agree that porn as some influence on the formation of our sexual desires, I don't think it's such a strech to think that it also has at least some influence on who we are attracted to. And given that porn is full of racial stereotype (like many other media production and society in general), I don't think it is such a strech either to think that our sexual preferences in terms of who we want to fuck are informed by those ideas which are circulated in porn and society more generally.

No doubt about it. The media always love to play clips of particular race and events in different sequences to "mess up" your brain by reinforcing the stereotype.

Case in point-a video showing a geeky Asian dude with funny accent in a club trying to impress a white hottie by initiating common small talks. The white hottie in turn look indifferent and is feeling turn off, while trying to get a hitch on a white dude beside her who's obviously self-absorbed watching the hockey game. What do you think your impression to that Asian dude?

 

[james t kirk]

***

Couldn't have put it better myself.

I don't buy into anyone who says they like every race, colour or creed. We all have our preferences and there is nothing wrong with that. Racism plays no part.

...

Agreed.

Just like there are lots of white women who will only sleep with black men.

Not racist, just personal preference, though it may come across as racist.

I prefer white women, east Indian women. I'm not really intrigued by black women or asian women. Nothing personal, just don't find their features attractive.

 

[nosidam]

I believe it's not racism, it's natural selection and levels of attraction. I'm a male asian and black women, white women, or indian women are not attracted to me so why should I spend time/money with them.

 

[Lou Siffer]

any one, male or female, who claim that they are attracted to all ethnicities equally is a liar.

Its that simple? Really?

Just as there are those who have preferences for certain ethnicities, I'm sure there are many, like me, who have no real preference. Unless spinner suddenly became an ethnic origin.

 

[pjoe43]

I really have no preference as long as she is attractive, trim and has a good attitude.

 

[luckyjackson]

I have no idea who John Mayer is and it seems obvious he isn't going to win any awards for tact, but admitting that he's only turned on by white women does not make him racist in any way shape or form. He's just more limited than others.

To say that preferences expressed here or anywhere for a certain "type" is proof of racism is just silly. Racism is a prejudice based on race. The racist makes a conscious decision to pre-judge the capacities and abilities of others based on race.

Now follow closely here....dicks and vaginas don't think. They just want. I won't speak for the ladies, but men don't decide what makes their dicks hard.

It's simply moronic to suggest that someone is racist because he is only attracted to women from one race. And before the accusations fly.....I like women of all types, ages and backgrounds.