Limericks

MissCroft · Mar 13, 2007

There once was a girl from Madras,
who had such a beautiful ass.
Not rounded and pink,
as you probably think, but grey,
with long ears and ate grass.

There was a young whore from Kaloo,
who filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin, "If they pay to get in,
they can pay to get out again too."

The limerick is callous and crude,
Its morals distressingly lewd;
It's not worth the reading
by persons of breeding -
It's designed for us vulgar and rude.

Viewer · Mar 14, 2007

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean -
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

There was an old man from Montmartre
Who was famed far and wide for his fart
When they cried "What a noise!"
He replied, with great poise
"When I fart sir, I fart from the heart!"

There once was a harlot at Yale
With her price-list tatooed on her tail,
And on her behind,
For the sake of the blind,
She had it embroidered in Braille.
1941

There was an old hostler named Raines,
Possessed of more ballocks than brains.
He stood on a stool
To bugger a mule,
And got kicked in the balls for his pains.
1941

shack · Mar 14, 2007

There was a young lady named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In South Carolina
And part of her anus in Dallas

friendz4evr · Mar 14, 2007

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Ogden Nash

friendz4evr · Mar 14, 2007

There was a man from Ghent
Who had a penis so long it bent
It was so much trouble
That he kept it double
And instead of coming he went.

friendz4evr · Mar 14, 2007

There once was a man from Madras
Who's balls were constructed of brass
When jangled together
They played stormy weather
And lightening shot out of his ass!

no_one_in_particular · Mar 14, 2007

There once was a gal named Calli
Who would never be seen in a galley
But her charms were so great
And she was such a great mate
I saw her so often I lost tally

skypilot · Mar 14, 2007

There once was a man from St. Paul
who went to a masquerade ball
he had the afront
to go dressed as a c-nt
and was fucked by a dog in the hall

There once was a young man named Gene
Who invented a fucking machine
Concave and convex
it would serve either sex
but oh what a bastard to clean

no_one_in_particular · Mar 14, 2007

There is an Irish lass called Cox
who many do think is a fox
her face is delectable
her body is incredible
but she’s most impressive when she talks

... SHILL... LOL

CUTTERBUCK · Mar 14, 2007

There was a young girl of the Azores
Whose xxxx was covered in sores
The dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers

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Limericks

MissCroft

Sweetie Pie

Viewer

PI: Privates Investigator

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire

friendz4evr

Active member

friendz4evr

Active member

friendz4evr

Active member

no_one_in_particular

New member

skypilot

Rebistrad Suer

no_one_in_particular

New member

CUTTERBUCK

Banned