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Got Fucked Over

Thread starter drlove
Start date Mar 21, 2009

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C

Captain Fantastic

...Winning

#201

As the TERB world turns...

I have to laugh as this thread continues. There's a guy on TERB with the handle drlove who's self-title is "Ph.D. in Pussyology" complaining that a girl he's been on TWO DATES with won't commit or define the relationship to his liking.

(Two Dates! I feel like going into a full-on, Allen Iverson "practice" rant. Two Dates! Casual POF dating. TWO DATES!)

Anyone else find that hilarious? I keep thinking that drlove is either an immature chick or an angst-ridden teenaged boy.

TERB soap operas - gotta love 'em!

R

Rylan

Banned - Never!!!

#202

Captain Fantastic said:
I have to laugh as this thread continues. There's a guy on TERB with the handle drlove who's self-title is "Ph.D. in Pussyology" complaining that a girl he's been on TWO DATES with won't commit or define the relationship to his liking.

(Two Dates! I feel like going into a full-on, Allen Iverson "practice" rant. Two Dates! Casual POF dating. TWO DATES!)

Anyone else find that hilarious? I keep thinking that drlove is either an immature chick or an angst-ridden teenaged boy.

TERB soap operas - gotta love 'em!

Ya, I am ready to give up. I am floored by the mentality of some on this board, and he is buying into those that have an even worse mentality, so it is only going to get worse.

Well not really...... LOL

K

King Midas

Dude, WTF?!

#203

drlove said:
I stand by everything I said. I have absolutely no problem hanging out with her and her friends, IF I'm given enough notice. You know what happens to guys that jump every time a woman calls? They become boring and predictable, and women rapidly lose interest. IMHO, they want a man who is going to have the balls to stand up for himself and not be a doormat. Whether or not women want to admit it, their goal is to tame the savage beast... they want a bit of a challenge. This woman even told me, she's the type of girl who likes to be chased a bit. Well, I'll only chase so far before I move on to greener pastures.

I'm late to the show but, truth be told, I think she wrote you off on Tuesday evening. If she was interested, she would have returned your call on Wednesday. I suspect she invited you to join her and her friends only because she felt badly about not returning your call.

That being said, I don't understand why you feel 'fucked over'. It didn't work out and you found out it wouldn't work out only two dates in.

This thread is so interesting because if you'd slept with her and then stopped seeing each other, you would be here celebrating that you'd "scored" and she'd be telling her friends what a jerk/cad you are.

T

tboy

resident smartass

#204

djk said:
Right on the money. How come so many women complain there's no good men around but exclusively date complete asshole alpha jerks?

That's one of many examples.

There's a bunch of reasons, one in particular is the: I love you, you're perfect, now change lol (they even wrote a play about that lol). Another reason is the primal "lord of the jungle" attraction. As I've said before, if we were in the jungle, that'd be applicable. But these days, the guy with the most secure job, compassion, intelligence, emotional stability, dominance in their profession is the new "lord of the jungle". Funny thing is, I think that woman haven't caught on to that as quickly as society has changed.

I got a buddy of mine into deep trouble once with his gf one time. I was friends with her long before she met him and we were out with a gang of people one night and she was (once again) bitching and moaning that he was all socializing with everyone, flirting, and being Mr Popular. I finally had enough of her and said "seriously, what the fuck did you think he'd be like? Those are the qualities that attracted you to him, what made you think that the SECOND you "got" him, he'd be any different"???? "well, I thought he'd change" she said.......

And yeah, this has turned into the Terb Soap Opera lol.......see what happens now that BSG is off the air?

genintoronto

Retired

#205

Captain Fantastic said:
I have to laugh as this thread continues. There's a guy on TERB with the handle drlove who's self-title is "Ph.D. in Pussyology" complaining that a girl he's been on TWO DATES with won't commit or define the relationship to his liking.

(Two Dates! I feel like going into a full-on, Allen Iverson "practice" rant. Two Dates! Casual POF dating. TWO DATES!)

Anyone else find that hilarious? I keep thinking that drlove is either an immature chick or an angst-ridden teenaged boy.

TERB soap operas - gotta love 'em!

*raises hand*

I've given up on replying to those "dating advices" threads because they all end up like this one with the bullshit talk about how women are immature gold-digging game-playing bitches who won't put out (especially TO women - the worst of their kind), but I have to admit that I can't stop reading them.

I can't stop thinking: in what fucking reality do you guys live???

Sometime too, I can't help but think that given all the hate and anger that some of the guys here have toward women, they would be better off being gay. Unfortunatly for them, they seem to be as homophobic as mysogynist.

C

Captain Fantastic

...Winning

#206

genintoronto said:
*raises hand*

I've given up on replying to those "dating advices" threads because they all end up like this one with the bullshit talk about how women are immature gold-digging game-playing bitches who won't put out (especially TO women - the worst of their kind), but I have to admit that I can't stop reading them.

I can't stop thinking: in what fucking reality do you guys live???

Sometime too, I can't help but think that given all the hate and anger that some of the guys here have toward women, they would be better off being gay. Unfortunatly for them, they seem to be as homophobic as mysogynist.

<Biting tongue>

I'll be right back, I just have to grab the popcorn!

I really want to see tboy try and dispute this post AND suck up to Gen at the same time!

PS - That post is one of the many reasons why I'm proud to call you my virtual wife!

S

squash500

Banned

#207

Rylan said:
Ya, I am ready to give up. I am floored by the mentality of some on this board, and he is buying into those that have an even worse mentality, so it is only going to get worse.

Well not really...... LOL

Rylan for the longest time I thought you were a chick and now I realize you're a guy

.

S

squash500

Banned

#208

genintoronto said:
*raises hand*

I've given up on replying to those "dating advices" threads because they all end up like this one with the bullshit talk about how women are immature gold-digging game-playing bitches who won't put out (especially TO women - the worst of their kind), but I have to admit that I can't stop reading them.

I can't stop thinking: in what fucking reality do you guys live???

Sometime too, I can't help but think that given all the hate and anger that some of the guys here have toward women, they would be better off being gay. Unfortunatly for them, they seem to be as homophobic as mysogynist.

I personally love women. However this woman who DL is dating is IMHO being a total idiot

.

A

AK-47

Armed to the tits

#209

genintoronto said:
Sometime too, I can't help but think that given all the hate and anger that some of the guys here have toward women, they would be better off being gay. Unfortunatly for them, they seem to be as homophobic as mysogynist.

There are just as many women that hate men.
How about all those strippers and escort that despise men and subsequently turn into lesbo's??!!

Same thing isnt it??

genintoronto

Retired

#210

AK-47 said:
There are just as many women that hate men.
How about all those strippers and escort that despise men and subsequently turn into lesbo's??!!

Same thing isnt it??

Have you ever considered that they were lesbos before getting in this industry?

And contrary to popular belief, lesbos are into women because they are into women, not because they hate men. You did not turn straight because you started hating men, did you?

C

Captain Fantastic

...Winning

#211

squash500 said:
However this woman who DL is dating is IMHO being a total idiot.

Really? Why is that? I'd really like to see your explanation.

Because she doesn't respond when HE wants her to? Because she asked him out on short notice? Because she's taking her time and keeping it casual? Because she doesn't make concessions that only he can know? Because she won't define a "relationship" that consists of a couple of emails, a few phone calls and TWO DATES?!?

Please squash, enlighten me...

C

Captain Fantastic

...Winning

#212

AK-47 said:
There are just as many women that hate men. How about all those strippers and escort that despise men and subsequently turn into lesbo's??!! Same thing isnt it??

Do you have any statistics or examples to back this up?

If the men that escorts, MPAs and dancers meet are like many of the guys on this board, I can see why they would start to hate men.

C

Captain Fantastic

...Winning

#213

This is still my favourite non-Rylan, non-Gen, non-a1player post in this thread:

johnhenrygalt said:
Most women want to be courted - this doesn't mean showered with gifts and cash. She wants the man to show interest and to charm her. Telling her "I'm interested ... call me if you like" is not courting.

Most women don't view dating and relationships as business transactions, where things need to "be defined", "concessions" negotiated, etc. especially after just a few weeks. The initial purpose is to have fun.

Most women are as clueless about men as men are about women. Men who describe themselves as being "brutally or bluntly honest" and "forthright" are not seen as such by most women. Men play as many if not more "games" than women, and any woman who has been "played" in the past will be wary of this. "Laying the cards on the table" and forcing her to "define" the relationship or her goals before she is ready is just as much of a game as anything women do. It's like playing poker and raising the bets before all the cards are dealt.

If the lady in question were to be posting about this dating experience on a message board with a largely female membership, I wouldn't be surprised if she weren't complaining about why men always have to play these "games". Women waste as much time and energy trying to understand men, and men don't help by pretending that men are easy to understand. All joking aside, a woman who is always available for sex, washes and irons his clothes, brings him beer while he's watching the game on television and encourages him to go out with the boys will often lose a man's interest. The typical man wants a challenge as well, and the woman who is "too easy" is used to accumulate notches on the bedpost. OTOH, the woman who plays "hard to get" gets dumped. There is a whole industry of women's magazines and relationship advice books to try to help women navigate through this minefield, all to no avail. Women don't understand men. Men don't understand women. Get used to it.

Men who describe themselves as "blunt", "brutally honest", etc. and then complain that women aren't the same don't really want to date women. They want to date a man who happens to have a woman's body. This is not new; it is not something unique to this generation; it is not something unique to North America or Toronto. It reminds me of "My Fair Lady" and the part about "Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

If you want to be with a woman, don't expect her to think and act like a man. If you don't really like women, and prefer the company of men, hang out with the guys and call an escort from time to time.

Where's MLAM when we need him?

A

addicted2whiskey

CHIEF SEXUAL CAPITALIST

#214

I think "Dr. Love" should will soon change his Terb handle to "Dr. Hate"... or maybe "Dr. Gets-No-Love"! lol

If the pussy did not come attached with the capacity to think and emotions then I think Dr. Love (the man with a PhD in Pussyology, no less) would be in the clear!

S

squash500

Banned

#215

Captain Fantastic said:
Really? Why is that? I'd really like to see your explanation.

Because she doesn't respond when HE wants her to? Because she asked him out on short notice? Because she's taking her time and keeping it casual? Because she doesn't make concessions that only he can know? Because she won't define a "relationship" that consists of a couple of emails, a few phone calls and TWO DATES?!?

Please squash, enlighten me...

Here's my explanation

. DL has made every attempt to conduct himself in an honest and straight forward manner. Why should DL have had to ditch his friend that he was having drinks with just because this chick called him at the last minute?

I admit that I am the last one who should be giving dating advice---lol. With that being said IMHO it is of the utmost importance that DL does not get used by this game playing woman. IMHO DL should get rid of this woman ASAP as she clearly is just stringing him along until someone better comes her way. What guy needs to put up with that stress and abuse no matter how hot the chick is? It's just not worth it!

I admire DL for not letting himself be pushed around by this game player!

A

AK-47

Armed to the tits

#216

genintoronto said:
Have you ever considered that they were lesbos before getting in this industry?

And contrary to popular belief, lesbos are into women because they are into women, not because they hate men. You did not turn straight because you started hating men, did you?

I never bothered asking any if they were Lesbo's before or after.
I do know there's plenty of man-haters in the stripping and escort industry. Any guy thats ever dated a stripper will tell you that

T

tboy

resident smartass

#217

squash500 said:
Here's my explanation . DL has made every attempt to conduct himself in an honest and straight forward manner. Why should DL have had to ditch his friend that he was having drinks with just because this chick called him at the last minute? !

Why? Because SHE called him......didn't you know? That because he didn't pass her "test" his name is mud. Just like that old joke about when you're in a relationship and you commit some supposed slight, you are rewarded with 5 days of sighs, moans, and dirty looks? And then to try and guess what it was you did is like that old game show: let's make a deal. You have to guess what's behind door number 1, door number 2 or door number 3. Guess the wrong one and you get the hobo on a donkey (and 5 more days of sighs and or no communication lol).

If genie was referring to me, and my posts, then that's fine but I don't hate women, I just hate the stereotypical bullshit that a guy has to put up with.

I honestly don't know why a woman can't say:
hey I like you, let's go out
Hey I really enjoyed myself tonight, want to do it again?
Sorry, you're not what I'm looking for, thanks for the invite though
Sorry, I don't really like you, I hope you find what you're looking for
I'm not really looking to jump into a relationship right now, but I do like you so let's keep seeing each other. How does once every couple of weeks sound?

I know there are a million other scenarios but the bottom line is: just be fricken honest. If you don't know what you want, say so. If you know what you want, say so.

squash500 said:
I admit that I am the last one who should be giving dating advice---lol. With that being said IMHO it is of the utmost importance that DL does not get used by this game playing woman. IMHO DL should get rid of this woman ASAP as she clearly is just stringing him along until someone better comes her way. What guy needs to put up with that stress and abuse no matter how hot the chick is? It's just not worth it!

I admire DL for not letting himself be pushed around by this game player!

Many may not agree, but because DL didn't accept her invite (or pass her test) to stop communicating for 5 days is pure 100% game playing. The first was creating a test for him to pass then the second is punishing him for not passing it.

Now you could argue that the invite wasn't a test, but just another measuring post in which she used to determine whether the good doctor was worthy of her affection. Either way to expect a guy to jump when she said jump is typical of the attitude of many women in TORONTO.

SOrry genie, I've travelled quite a bit and as much as it pains me to say it, Toronto women DO have this sense of entitlement that is only equalled to those in Manhatton. I've approached women in just about every major city in North America and in most, you can strike up a conversation with them. In Toronto? If you don't meet their "idea" of the perfect man, they look at you like you have a 12" penis growing out of your forehead......

D

drlove

Ph.D. in Pussyology

#218

King Midas said:
I'm late to the show but, truth be told, I think she wrote you off on Tuesday evening. If she was interested, she would have returned your call on Wednesday. I suspect she invited you to join her and her friends only because she felt badly about not returning your call.

I thought the same thing... that's why I told her if she's not interested, just say so and I'll move on. The thing is, everytime I bring it up she says she's still interested and that we should go out again. Usually if a woman isn't interested in someone she'll make no bones about it and let them know in short order. So again, she says one thing, yet her actions say something altogether different.

D

drlove

Ph.D. in Pussyology

#219

JohnFK said:
If you want, can you say what she said then?

She hasn't read the message yet that I sent her on POF. She told me she's going to be out of town this weekend, so i don't expect to hear from her until sometime next week. I'll keep you posted though... I'm curious as to what her reaction will be myself.

D

drlove

Ph.D. in Pussyology

#220

Rylan said:
She has called you though. Just not in your wanted time frame. Clearly you need someone who calls more often. I have already stated that when I started dating the person I am with now, that the first 2 months was a date every 2 weeks. That was fine for me. There was a bit of communication in between but not that much. That doesn't seem like something you can handle. I was interested in my partner, they were interested in me. We both said that and went on from there. There was no need for defining things until a while later, about 5-6 months down the road when I made it clear I wanted only a casual relationship.

As for calling when it is convenient - hello??? I would only call when it is convenient. Especially in the beginning. I have nothing with that person yet. Now that I am a year in and we have a little schedule worked out, then if I know I am going to miss our usually lunch phone call, I will send a text to my partner to let them know out of courtesy. In the beginning though, no- it was when it was convenient. I can't say if she calls only when she has nothing better to do - that could be a feeling that is right on the money, or because I think you are a man who needs alot of validation via actions AND words, it could be you mistaking it for her having nothing better to do.

Clearly this relationship that you want to have with her is not going to work though. Not because neither side is uninterested, but because you are different people who view communication in 2 different ways and have completely separate needs from each other. So I would be moving on anyways. She is never going to be the way you want her to be. It is like starting to date a smoker when really you want a non-smoker. It is not going to work unless one of you is willing to change and starting out relationship knowing someone has to change for the other is not the smartest thing to do.

Good luck man.

Thanks. I actually agree with most of what you wrote. More than needing validation, I suppose I want proof that a woman is actually interested and not just playing since I don't want to be wasting my time. I've gotten burned before and as a result have my guard up. Now, I will say that she used to call quite a bit, but recently hasn't been doing much of anything. Building a relationship is a two way street. Either she demonstrates interest by making an effort to keep in touch, or provides me with a valid reason as to why she isn't. For example... "I just want to take it slow for now" or whatever. Guys need this shit spelled out for them. I'm not about to rack my brain to figure out what she's thinking because we both know I never will unless she tells me. Whatever happened to the concept of open communication?? BTW... I asked her about the whole incident with me not accepting her invitation to go out with her friends, and she told me she's not upset by it at all and as a matter of fact ended up not going out that night at all. She said she fell asleep.

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