Not Getting Caught

Ryan · Dec 15, 2004

I buddy of mine (my dumbass 2nd cousin actually) is facing an expensive and stressful divorce primarily because he was caught by his wife using the services of an SP.

A hotel bill hastily stuffed in a coat pocket then forgotten tipped her off. What a lame way to lose half your net worth.

As a public service I think we should all pool our various methods of "discretion" into a comprehensive thread.

I am blessedly single, but I do go to great pains to hide my hobbying from overinquisitive relatives, housekeepers and especially girlfriends (who DO look through every damn thing in your house). Here's my starting list to kick off (mostly basics, some from friends):

- Separate credit card/checking account with statements mailed to office
- Separate cell phone with statements mailed to office
- E-Mail address that I check ONLY from a web interface
- Clearing browser history and cache daily
- Talking up the big 36-month project I was just assigned that requires travel/late night work every few weeks
- Complaining of how I hate hanging my coat in the common closet at work because of all the hair from other people that gets on it
- Complaining about my secretary who likes to try lots of different perfumes and sprays the stuff everywhere
- Stop for gas on the way home, the tiniest trace of gasoline on your hands erases all other smells even to the most sensitive nose (also a good excuse to wash up)
- Rigid routine by which I stop on the way home from every trip and go through my pockets, coat, luggage and briefcase for any receipts, ticket stubs, etc.
- Never give a hotel your home address, the better ones will call and/or mail you if you leave a personal item in the room

Stay safe,
Ryan

stang · Dec 15, 2004

Don't print out this list and leave it lying around though.

Sabryna Taylor · Dec 15, 2004

When you clear your cache - go through the extra step of clearing your passwords (as an inquisitive ex-gf of a cheater - that's the easiest way to get access to that 'secret' email account).

Also if you MSN or Yahoo - clear the history on that (usually stored in a sub-file of either program).

Oh....and another word about passwords - for things like your cell, make sure it is TOTALLY different from your other passwords and don't program it. Blame it on the office for being so damn annoying with passwords.

Similarly - do the same with your voicemail at work...obscure password if you get calls there. You may not think she will check there...but many voicemail systems are the same....and you can log in remotely.

And a final note - if you are worried about an inappropriate call, turn the cell off and put it to voicemail. Most guys get a weird shifty look when they answer a call from someone they shouldn't be talking to.....despite the clever fascade of "um yeah bill .... I'll talk to you about it at work tomorrow" (we always know).

Hope this helps out a bit....from the snooping GF side of things

A gift from my not so smart ex....to you.

Sabryna

DonAngelo · Dec 15, 2004

...and if you still get caught? Deny everything at all cost!!!

Sabryna Taylor · Dec 15, 2004

...well duh

Sabryna

djk · Dec 16, 2004

Ryan said:
- Separate credit card/checking account with statements mailed to office
- Separate cell phone with statements mailed to office
- E-Mail address that I check ONLY from a web interface
- Clearing browser history and cache daily
- Talking up the big 36-month project I was just assigned that requires travel/late night work every few weeks
- Complaining of how I hate hanging my coat in the common closet at work because of all the hair from other people that gets on it
- Complaining about my secretary who likes to try lots of different perfumes and sprays the stuff everywhere
- Stop for gas on the way home, the tiniest trace of gasoline on your hands erases all other smells even to the most sensitive nose (also a good excuse to wash up)
- Rigid routine by which I stop on the way home from every trip and go through my pockets, coat, luggage and briefcase for any receipts, ticket stubs, etc.
- Never give a hotel your home address, the better ones will call and/or mail you if you leave a personal item in the room

Nice list but why bother living like this if you're in a relationship?

Cheers,

-djk

einar · Dec 16, 2004

Or tell your wife that the escort would love to try a threesome. Or that fidelity is so 90s.

Kaelyn · Dec 16, 2004

My exact thoughts, djk. Why not pour all that "thought and energy" into making your relationship/sex life what you want it to be.

What ever happened to honesty and working out the kinks (no pun intended!!) in a relationship.

langeweile · Dec 16, 2004

Kaelyn and djk,

While I appreciate your concerns and your good advice. I think you forgot for a moment the nature of this board.
I suggest you familiarize yourself with it, again.

Cobra1 · Dec 16, 2004

Re: Re: Not Getting Caught

djk said:
Nice list but why bother living like this if you're in a relationship?

Cheers,

-djk

Cause sometimes its just fun to be sneaky !

Rare is the relationship that gives you all that you seek - so in my own ability to justify - then weaselling is for the benefit of all.

Cobra1 · Dec 16, 2004

CurvySabrina said:
When you clear your cache - go through the extra step of clearing your passwords (as an inquisitive ex-gf of a cheater - that's the easiest way to get access to that 'secret' email account).

Sabryna

Great advice !
I almost got caught by my SO recently after doing something dumb. With a new wireless aircard I was showing her how to use the laptop etc - she asked me to book something for her - and when I signed into Expedia - they asked me for my profiles - and like a dumb ass I had forgotten to erase a recent trip with another young friend - which popped up into view - really stupid - luckily I was fast with my fingers and she didnt comment.

I might add also - make sure you clear your "sent mail" box, and then remember to delete the delete box also. Same thing if you bookmarked any sites and then deleted them to the recycle bin.

langeweile · Dec 16, 2004

Some cache or history cleaners will take care of all your needs. Some of them are quiet extensive in the tasks peformed.
Some decent ones are for free.

Kaelyn · Dec 16, 2004

langeweile said:
Kaelyn and djk,

While I appreciate your concerns and your good advice. I think you forgot for a moment the nature of this board.
I suggest you familiarize yourself with it, again.

Thanks langeweile .....

I have never forgotten the nature of this board or the business in which I am employed. My suggestion is that this lifestyle should be one partaken while single.

Why be in a relationship in the first place? If your partner is aware and in agreement with these activites, then go right ahead but the feelings of your significant other should never be ignored.

Deception and deceit are form of emotional abuse are they not? In my opinion ~ yes but that is just my opinion.

DonHoly1 · Dec 16, 2004

Talking up the big 36-month project I was just assigned that requires travel/late night work every few weeks
- Complaining of how I hate hanging my coat in the common closet at work because of all the hair from other people that gets on it
- Complaining about my secretary who likes to try lots of different perfumes and sprays the stuff everywhere

careful this sounds a bit flambouantsp? and defintiely unbelievable. wanna Keep it Simple Stupid - a womans radar is like a dogs nose can they will smell it - its best not to talk and answer only the questions she asks.

red · Dec 16, 2004

Kaelyn said:
Thanks langeweile .....

I have never forgotten the nature of this board or the business in which I am employed. My suggestion is that this lifestyle should be one partaken while single.

Why be in a relationship in the first place? If your partner is aware and in agreement with these activites, then go right ahead but the feelings of your significant other should never be ignored.

Deception and deceit are form of emotional abuse are they not? In my opinion ~ yes but that is just my opinion.

thats because you are single- get married a few times and then talk about it

djk · Dec 16, 2004

Kaelyn said:
Thanks langeweile .....

I have never forgotten the nature of this board or the business in which I am employed. My suggestion is that this lifestyle should be one partaken while single.

Why be in a relationship in the first place? If your partner is aware and in agreement with these activites, then go right ahead but the feelings of your significant other should never be ignored.

Deception and deceit are form of emotional abuse are they not? In my opinion ~ yes but that is just my opinion.

Well said, seconded.

Cheers,

-djk

langeweile · Dec 16, 2004

Kaelyn said:
Thanks langeweile .....

I have never forgotten the nature of this board or the business in which I am employed. My suggestion is that this lifestyle should be one partaken while single.

Why be in a relationship in the first place? If your partner is aware and in agreement with these activites, then go right ahead but the feelings of your significant other should never be ignored.

Deception and deceit are form of emotional abuse are they not? In my opinion ~ yes but that is just my opinion.

When i was single I was less likely to spend time with an SP. I had more time and opportunity to get what I wanted without an SP. Plus the fact I was younger helped too..LOL. It is kind of hard getting a young girl to go out with an older guy IMHO.

I also feel less gulty visiting an SP,t han having a regular affair. Affairs take time and commitment and a lot of maintenance.
SP's are much easier that way.

The Baroness · Dec 16, 2004

all this from a single guy!!!!

DonAngelo · Dec 16, 2004

Kaelyn said:
Deception and deceit are form of emotional abuse are they not? In my opinion ~ yes but that is just my opinion.

...don't we use deception and deceit just to prevent emotional distress?

booboobear · Dec 16, 2004

Kaelyn said:
Thanks langeweile .....

I have never forgotten the nature of this board or the business in which I am employed. My suggestion is that this lifestyle should be one partaken while single.

.

Deception and deceit are form of emotional abuse are they not? In my opinion ~ yes but that is just my opinion.

Some may criticize what you do ,single or not.

I don't think it's the purpose of this board to judge his lifestyle or yours.

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