Would you tell...

I

incognito

Active member
Jan 8, 2004
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Not sure but it's awfully hot down here.
First off, if this topic has been discussed before, i appologize for it.

My question is, if during a conversation with friends, the topic of paying for sex comes up? Would you admit to it or plead the 5th (deny everything and admit nothing). There is a rather bad stigma about guys who pay for it so most of us are in the closet, so-to-speak. I guess thats why we're here. SO, would you or would'nt you.?
 
I would position myself further along than then, but not too far. If they go to strip clubs, I go more. If they don't get dances, I do, but nothing too extreme, etc. I have a buddy who is a hobbiest, and we would not have figured out our mutual interest if we had not revealed a little information.
 
Well, I wouldn't let casual friends know about it, or my family, but I have a couple of close friends who we share everything together...well not EVERYTHING you pervs, but they know........
 
I'm addressing this to those who are single or in relationships where the SO is no longer a sexual contributor:

You people are only making life more difficult on yourselves, your fellow hobbyists and your facilitators. Does it have to be like masturbation - something most people did but pretended not to - do we have to wait for centuries? Would you lie about something as comonplace as drinking coffee or beer?

I've gotten to the point of telling almost everyone who would ask or raise the subject and even hinting to those who don't ask. I'm not doing anything wrong and I refuse to perpetuate repression by behaving as though it's wrong.

People need to have their blinders removed and their pacifiers yanked out. How long are we going to fuel the illusions of people who need to believe that the pleasure business is just a minuscule wart which houses only the most depraved deviants.

At least half the guys you are pretending to are also customers at some level, don't you see how silly it is? Besides, lying is high maintenance.

Look at the way that people with other previously condemned lifestyles are asserting themselves: homosexuals, transgendered, pot-smokers, fetishists.... Don't you envy the balls they have to be in-your-face about their choices and force it into the mainstream?
 
Hard Idle said:
I'm addressing this to those who are single or in relationships where the SO is no longer a sexual contributor:

You people are only making life more difficult on yourselves, your fellow hobbyists and your facilitators. Does it have to be like masturbation - something most people did but pretended not to - do we have to wait for centuries? Would you lie about something as comonplace as drinking coffee or beer?

I've gotten to the point of telling almost everyone who would ask or raise the subject and even hinting to those who don't ask. I'm not doing anything wrong and I refuse to perpetuate repression by behaving as though it's wrong.

People need to have their blinders removed and their pacifiers yanked out. How long are we going to fuel the illusions of people who need to believe that the pleasure business is just a minuscule wart which houses only the most depraved deviants.

At least half the guys you are pretending to are also customers at some level, don't you see how silly it is? Besides, lying is high maintenance.

Look at the way that people with other previously condemned lifestyles are asserting themselves: homosexuals, transgendered, pot-smokers, fetishists.... Don't you envy the balls they have to be in-your-face about their choices and force it into the mainstream?
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Well said...I do think things are getting better in regards to openess though...slowly but surely...these things take time.
 
Hard Idle has made some good points. Most men are consumers of some of the range of services in the sex trade, even if their involvement is limited to occasional porn or a once a year visit to a strip club. We have been conditioned by a sexually repressive society to feel guilty about our involvement.
I go to a strip club about once a month with a friend who has no idea that I hobby. He claims not to be interested in escorts and I have not admitted my involvement. Shame and guilt prevents me being as open as I would like to be.
None of my friends admit to having seen an escort, but some-body is keeping them busy. Hard Idle is right, 50 years ago nobody admitted to masturbation either.
 
incognito said:
Oh yeah, another thing. I think a friend of mine is a lurker of this board. I was actually shocked when he mentioned TERB to me. I just gave him a black look and said "what's that". LOL
That would be ackward.
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Now he knows LOL:eek:
 
I also agree with hard idle, BUT most people here would never admit that they participate in this hobby and i think we all know why. To most macho men, paying for services rendered is a sign of weakness and is thus prone to ridicule and humiliation from these so-called macho men who says they fuck for free.

And no Thunder, my friend does not know my handle nor would i ever disclose it to him as i value my privacy here.
 
incognito said:
I also agree with hard idle, BUT most people here would never admit that they participate in this hobby and i think we all know why. To most macho men, paying for services rendered is a sign of weakness and is thus prone to ridicule and humiliation from these so-called macho men who says they fuck for free.

And no Thunder, my friend does not know my handle nor would i ever disclose it to him as i value my privacy here.
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maybe we should call you incognito
 
Some good points made so far, and like most of you, I have never revealed to anyone in my private world that I see escorts. I am not embarassed about it necessarily, but I do agree that this is simply a hobby which one does not share with others. For some reason, it is perfectly okay for one to say they watch porn or go to SC's, but there still seems to be a societal stigma attached to "paying for it". Personally, I think seeing escorts is a very logical, sensible thing to do, and I have long maintained that the key question is not why do men do it, but why wouldn't they do it.

I have often thought that as a single male of well past marrying age, that it should be fairly easy to surmise that I must be getting sex somewhere. I never seem to have a GF, so where else could I be getting it?
 
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I would agree with Homonger and Stronbeau's opinion. There are a million reasons why someone would visit SP's. It is not simply a case of "I cannot get laid with any girl so I go to an SP". Look at all the cases involving good looking Hollywood celebrities hiring SP's through Heidi Fleiss, who could have gotten laid anytime and didn't need to pay for it. Unfortunately, we live in such a hypocritical society that supporting, let alone participating in the sex industry is frown upon. This always reminds me of Jimmy Swaggart. The guy is holding up the bible on TV preaching to people how to live their lives while at night he was paying for sex. Personally, I will never understand a society that is tolerant of violence but extremely hypocritical and intolerant of sexual expression.

N
 
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It all depends on what you have to lose, and your privacy limits. For me, it's no biggie (no job, no SO, no responsibility). I haven't had privacy for 25 years, so it's not a problem. I also have the advantage of being disabled, the stigma is usually nonexistent for people like myself. Hell even my mother knows.
 
Tell people?Pay for it?

I have never paid for sex in my life!All the women I see enjoy their time with me so much that I get it for nothing!Because of this generosity from the bottom of their heart,I always give them $$ as a GOODWILL gesture,to keep them cumming back!
And I have no problem telling my friends!Most of them are in commitments and WISH they were in my shoes!Especially when I show them the links to the girls' photos!Every week they would ask if I saw anyone new,or who I might be contemplating next.
For me,it is cheaper than a GF!And no ties!
Of course a couple of the guys are now on this board,and actively participate in the different wares available.So our discussions can get very interesting,to say the least.
That's my story,and I'm stickin' to it!
T/S
 
I seem then to be in the minority here. I am very open about my participation in the hobby. There are few I would not tell, should the conversation arise. I have even told prospective girlfriends about my interest in professional ladies. Most have appreciated the honesty.

It is also fun to compare stories with other guys. I have a friend (male) who was last year complaining to me about not being able to get laid. I suggested a bordello here in Berlin that I have been to and enjoyed. At the time my friend was shocked and told me that he never had to pay for sex...

Well a couple of weeks ago this friend pulled me aside at a social gathering and thanked me for recommending this place. It seems that he has been going once or twice a week since the summer.

In order for this hobby to become more acceptable in polite company we need to be more honest and upfront about it. And it feels great not to have to hide it. For me, I just made a decision that I was going to be more open with it. It was hard at first but now feels very natural.
 
homonger said:
I have often thought that as a single male of well past marrying age, that it should be fairly easy to surmise that I must be getting sex somewhere. I never seem to have a GF, so where else could I be getting it?
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That in itself is a very good question. For those of us that are unable to have a girlfriend or SO (insert reason here), do people that know you automaticaly think that you're paying for it?
 
I would only tell if a buddy tells me first. Other than that, I have a reputation as a fine upstanding taxpaying citizen. With a fine girlfriend who satisfies me in every way possible. :rolleyes:
 
homonger said:
I have often thought that as a single male of well past marrying age, that it should be fairly easy to surmise that I must be getting sex somewhere. I never seem to have a GF, so where else could I be getting it?
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Most people probably just assume you are gay.
 
When I first told my buddies about hobbying, I got all the usual lectures about finding a girlfriend, STDs, blowing money, dehumanizing women, blah, blah, blah...

Yet, as years passed, they've grown more accepting of it. Now, they ask me about my adventures in travelling to various North American cities, banging SPs everywhere I go.

When I told them that certain forms of hobbying were legal in Canada, they were surprised. They thought I was going to Canada to smoke pot!
 
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