Would you date someone who killed another in a drunk driving accident?

[Jenesis]

So I listen to a podcast all the time and a caller is in a bit of a sticky situation.

She has gone on a couple of dates with a guy who has a great relationship with his family, nice apartment, good job, seems very level headed. After the third date, she googled him and finds out he has a felony (US show) for vehicular homicide from a DUI.

Now she has two issues.

1. Will she (you) date a person who has this on their record? From your own morals and ethics stand point.

2. He doesn’t know that she knows, so should she(you) continue to date a person who would withhold this type of information about their past?

Interesting topic for sure.

 

[Jenesis]

I wanted to put my answers in a separate post. So for me:

1. I personally don’t think I could date someone with that type of felony. Unfortunately, I have dealt with a lot Alcoholic abuse from people in my past and my opinions on it are based on that. Which I admit would be condemning someone fot someone else’s actions but I’m woman enough to admit that and accept that for myself.

2. If it was a different type of past criminal action that I would not have an issue with continuing to date the person, I would give it a couple of months for them to tell me and then after that, I would see it as a red flag of deception and wonder what else they were hiding.

I think that is what I would do.

 

[locknload]

My initial reaction is like yours; I can't see myself dating someone with that type of felony. But ... people in general do a LOT of stupid things (me included) and some have been very lucky to come out of it with minimal damage while others have not. I just hope that we all learn from our mistakes and not only do not repeat that mistake but teach others from our experiences. In this lady's situation, I would be transparent with the guy and see what he has to say about the felony. Yes it was definitely a dumb thing to do but if he is genuinely remorseful and is trying to make up for it, it may provide a different perspective.

 

[PeteOsborne]

No.

 

[GameBoy27]

Like what many women would do, she must weigh how good looking and how much money he makes against what he's done in the past.

As an example, I watched a true crimes type show last week. Guy is good looking and very wealthy. Current wife liked spending his money. He kills her, sets fire to their house and burns her to a crisp. He spent 8 years in prison and got remarried a year after getting out. You tell me she doesn't see $$$...

 

[The Fox]

Fuck., who hasn’t had a dui.

 

[GameBoy27]

Fuck., who hasn’t had a dui.

There's DUI. Then there's DUI and killing someone.

 

[The Fox]

I was being facetious.

like gameboy said, if he’s wealthy, charming, good looking, no one will give a flying fuck.

 

[Gentlemoan]

If it is not intentional, I pardon. Shit happens and that doesn’t make some one criminal to be kept off.

 

[Darts]

If the felon is male, some (many) women probably would. After all, Ted Bundy and Paul Bernardo got/get many love letters with nude pics from female admirers. Maybe that Marco guy is also getting these letters.

 

[K Douglas]

I always say trust your gut. If your gut tells you its not right or you won't feel comfortable dating someone with a past like that then be honest and upfront with yourself and with them.
Myself, I believe in redemption. If I was dating a girl who had that history but she paid her dues to society and became a better person for it I'd give her a chance.

 

[IM469]

People make mistakes .. if she looks regretful ... or hot .... and I drove .... why not ?

 

[skoose]

I'd be ok with it. The person made a terrible mistake, but one that a lot of people make. This mistake just so happened
to have terrible consequences, while many other people get away with it scot free. If he was remorseful and has learned
his mistake then I don't see the issue.

 

[james t kirk]

No

 

[Darts]

Julie Payette
Craig McTavish
Matthew Broderick
Rene Levesque

I think McTavish was UTI, not sure about the others (maybe mechanical issues?).

 

[thumper18474]

Julie Payette
Craig McTavish
Matthew Broderick
Rene Levesque

I think McTavish was UTI, not sure about the others (maybe mechanical issues?).

Don't forget Ted Kennedy

 

[The Oracle]

I'd tell them what I knew and then wait and judge the response and subsequent explanation.

Make my decision off what I heard..........

 

[Butler1000]

It would depend on what age were they, did they stay or run, and honestly their explanation and how have they taken responsibility.

It would be a hard talk with lots if very poignant and uncomfortable questions that would need to be answered to allow me to move forward.

But I believe in forgiveness as well. Its one of the cornerstones of our modern society.

 

[HEYHEY]

Depends on how hot she is

 

[Josephine Grey]

1. It depends of the circumstances of all this. His age when it happens, how he delt with the people he hurts ect. We are human. We make mistakes.

2. I would not say anything until I know if it's a yes or a no for me. Might take time to evaluate.