Ever heard about the book: The woman's rule book on relationships?
There are about 5 pages at the front with all the publisher's info etc and about 50 pages all blank. On the first page is states:
Woman's Rules on Dating:
1) Rule number 1: Women make all the rules
2) Rule number 2: Women reservce the right to change rule number 1 at any time.
That's it!
I just had this emailed to me from a friend and I thought we'd all get a laugh out of it (this is posted with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek).
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1 . Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the leafs, or the new dodge ram hemi trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? it's like camping!
There are about 5 pages at the front with all the publisher's info etc and about 50 pages all blank. On the first page is states:
Woman's Rules on Dating:
1) Rule number 1: Women make all the rules
2) Rule number 2: Women reservce the right to change rule number 1 at any time.
That's it!
I just had this emailed to me from a friend and I thought we'd all get a laugh out of it (this is posted with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek).
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1 . Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the leafs, or the new dodge ram hemi trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? it's like camping!
