Why Women lie about being Raped

[genintoronto]

Blasphemy!

<Hiccup>

Well, I guess it IS pass noon already.

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

You can combine drinking a martini AND watching paint dry if you want to maximize your productivity.

 

[Kyra.Graves]

You can combine drinking a martini AND watching paint dry if you want to maximize your productivity.

Good idea! I might be able to squeeze two martinis in that way. Now does someone want to pass me the olives?

 

[fmahovalich]

you got a lot of growing up to do..is it not obvious?

 

[Viggo Rasmussen]

you got a lot of growing up to do..is it not obvious?

You have a problem with the martinis or watching paint dry? Maybe it's the olives which you see as a sign of immaturity?

 

[tboy]

I don't care if it's a male or female touching me when it's unwanted attention and I did not consent to it then the gender of the other person involved doesn't matter.

Just looking for a little clarification here: so if you went to a hair salon say and the owner walked up to you and said HIIIII welcome and gave you a big hug, you'd feel violated? Assaulted? the same as if a man did that?

I seriously doubt that you would. (I don't know you so maybe you would, but I doubt it).

Here's another scenario: you're hanging out in a nice bar, waiting to be seated in the dining room. A woman walks behind you and notices the tag on the back of your blouse sticking up, fixes it and says to you, sorry, your tag was out.....would you feel violated? threatened? (you've got long hair so it might not be noticed but just play along for conversation sake).

As for the male/male dynamic that is totally different. I understand what you were trying to do but a whole other realm enters into the picture on that (homophobia for eg).

As I said earlier: I've had women touch me inappropriately and as fuji said, it did make me uncomfortable for a moment, but I got over it. Had it continued, I would have said something, and if it didn't, either become physical (to stop her only) or leave.

As for small(er) women being able to fend for themselves. I dunno. I've met some who could hold their own against an average guy. I have known some who could beat the crap out of the average guy. (not Mr Knight though, cuz he's not afraid of anything, even Chuck Liddell!!).

Further to Mr Knight's comments about assigning blame, his reaction SO reminds me of SO many comments you read about from women about unwelcome looks from guys. In most cases they are either wearing a low cut top/push up bra or a skin tight white T shirt. As with many things, if you don't want the attention, don't do things to garner that attention.

What I'm getting at is part of my first paragraph: if a guy you were interested in, grabbed or pinched your ass, would you react the same way if a guy you weren't interested in grabbed or pinched your ass?

Hopefully one day our society will progress to the point where women don't have to be careful about where they go, who they accompany, or what they do when they get there. Hopefully guys won't have to worry about that either. But until that time? Advocating a little caution is only commen sense and anyone who says different is dumber than a bag of raccoon poo.

 

[VirginJohn]

Lets leave the insults out of it, if you want further clarity on my point just ask I'm happy to provide it but calling my arguement stupid doesn't further a conversation.

Nothing personal, this is just business here.

The reason I used a male scenario is because very few males are physically intimidated by other females. I figured as a group we could understand that unwanted touch is unwanted touch, I don't care if it's a male or female touching me when it's unwanted attention and I did not consent to it then the gender of the other person involved doesn't matter.

This is not the case, in every case. What about the Russian lady who force fed a guy viagra in handcuffs and raped him for three days. She gave him one karate chop and then handcuffed him afterwards. You mean to tell me that men aren't intimidated physically by women?

http://www.inquisitr.com/22016/russian-hairdresser-kidnaps-robber-rapes-him-for-three-days-p2s/

So, you see, women rape guys and this is like never reported.

A part of the reason that most men don't care if a woman touches them is because they don't feel any further physical threat or risk, most women are incapable of escalating the situation should she wish to. There is very little implied or percieved threat and because of that the situation is deemed to be harmless by the male involved.

Not if you are handcuffed and force-fed viagra like that hapless guy was. Poor chap.

That isn't true when the balance of power changes, I thought it would be easier to place yourself in the situation and feel empathy for the female role when a male is doing the touching, where your reaction to the situation may have consequences. When you are touched by another male you have choices to make, you can laugh it off and do nothing at all but that does open you up to further advances, you could turn to him and say "thanks but no thanks" which one hopes is a safe response but you have to make a quick judgement on who the guy is to gauge what his reaction will be (was he drinking, did his friends egg him on thus he might react badly, etc.) or you can turn in anger and tell him to keep his hands to himself, basically posturing up to show you are the 'strong' one. Each situation has a different outcome and it varies depending on who you deal with, sometimes it works to turn in anger as the person is genuinely sorry or will be intimidated and back off, often the genuine approach of "not interested" works but sometimes you'll find that a public rebuff will get you an angry reaction and sometimes doing nothing works well but you may also be giving off the wrong signal. Any reaction can escalate the situation and as you are now the smaller of the group your goal is to not end up in a potentially uncomfortable or violent situation but you also don't want to continue to be touched by this man.
That is why I pose the question of what do you do when a man touches you? It has nothing to do with ones gender but adjusting the power dynamic. A girl that is 5'3" and weighs about 120lbs rarely feels like she can get into a physical altercation with a male just as most men at 5'8" are not likely picking fights with guys the size of Lennox Lewis. I would assume if Lennox wanted your ass you'd probably think twice before you told him where to go and that is the process many women have to go through each time someone touches them uninvited.

I'd be offended if a man touches me because I'm not gay and somewhat homophobic. If a big body-builder amazon woman were to touch me that could obviously beat me up, that's fine. I woudn't be attracted to an amazon woman though and would just get the heck out of there rather than think of pressing any charges.

Now where is that group for those of us that should just walk away from a thread? I am off to find something a little more productive to do with my time like drinking a martini and watching paint dry.

Thanks for your detailed response to my challenge. I'd like to hear what you have to say about the Russian lady that raped that poor guy that tried to rob his store. Now, he pressed charges for rape against her? Does that mean that women on men rape is also underreported on that stats?

 

[Cinema Face]

Where did you get these statistics?

My understanding is there are NO unbiased statistics on rape available. Sure it's true that rape victim advocacy groups fudge their numbers egregiously, but the statistics you're quoting look just as phony in the opposite direction.

How do you know that the 1/3rd who drop the charges weren't actually raped and have been intimidated by a difficult legal system? How do you know that the investigations did not conclude "lack of evidence" rather than "accusations were false"?

The problem with discussing statistics on rape is that practically all source of information suffer from gender bias. Rape is seen as a "front line" issue by many feminists who have radicalized the issue in dishonest ways. On the other side you have an actual male bias institutionalized in courts and policing systems that tends to minimize the problem. The truth behind all of this is entirely elusive.

It's my guess, and due to the lack of good statistics not much more than a guess, that both sides are right: Far more women are raped than report it, and far too many reports of rape are false reports.

I got the statistics from this book

http://www.amazon.com/Domestic-Violence-Things-Arent-Supposed/dp/1593301227

Thomas James is lawyer in the US and gets his numbers from the research he's done in domestic violence litigation.