Why do hobbyist get ridiculed when they become attached to an SP?

[Tashki]

I noticed on a few threads in the past that when a hobbyist implies that they have gotten attached to an SP or perhaps even developed feelings for them they often get ridiculed by other forum users. This even happened to me. People say something like "It's an illusion" and the obvious classic line "It's all about the $"

I have fell in love with most SPs. I have gotten attached to them and I have been heavily passionate towards them. I don't ask any of them to be my GF because I thought that was the whole point of the service; To be really into your SP. To make it as though they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Isn't that the whole point of the service? I want to be able to drive home after a session in the state of euphoria than to feel hollow and empty. I wouldn't feel like I have gotten my money's worth.

Are sessions with SPs suppose to lack foreplay and we just bang them like lifeless zombies?

I'd also read stories about SPs blacklisting clients because they felt that the clients were seeing them too many times and felt that those clients fell in love with them. Again, isn't that part of the experience?

One of the best things I like about seeing SPs (or i thought) is that I can see them at anytime I want as long as the are available and you don't have to worry about them liking you, being interested in you or being attracted to you. As a long as I like them, become attached to them and pay them without worrying about them not wanting to provide me service.

I have come to the conclusion that falling in love with an SP is within it's nature of hobbying. The sensation of my dick getting sucked by a civilian feels the same way as if an SP is doing it. Oxytocin produces inside of my brain when I make out with a civilian the same way as if I'm making out with an SP. So where does the validity of "This hobby is an illusion" come in?

I would like to know everybody else's perspective.

 

[Spacealien2]

When you become attached to any woman you're a loser to them.

 

[Jasmine Raine]

You do not know what love actually is if this is what you describe as love.

You are talking about lust, not love.

 

[empuser999]

When you become attached to any woman you're a loser to them.

I think it goes both ways, but in my opinion it's not as extreme as 'automatic loser'. What attachment does do is give the other person a whole lot of power over the attached and that's fundamentally scary shit.

I don't particularly like when I end up with that power over someone else, it creeps me out.

Uncle Ben was right: With great power comes great responsibility.

Sure, there are probably some fabulous SPs that respect their clients and do not abuse their men's admiration, or feelings. Then again, look at the divorce courts - statistically, women can be pretty fucking ruthless. Getting attached to someone who is in the sex trade does make you extremely vulnerable to the whims of a person who prefers to operate their entire business incognito.

I think that's where the ridicule comes in. I do agree that some emotional connection is better than "Blowup Wanda" just need to keep it realistic that's all.

 

[jcpro]

A "relationship" with the SP is itself a fantasy and different from a regular relationship. It starts in different circumstances and it runs differently. You may fool yourself that it's the same, but it's not. I don't say that there are not exceptions and you may be the one, but on the whole, if you're looking for a relationship, this is not the place to find it.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

Who cares what they say, why do you need their validation and approval?

Like there are different levels and forms of love and it’s really a complicated thing.

I agree what you described above is lust as Jessica said, however nothing wrong with feelings of lust or being in lust as long as you can control it and don’t creep her out with it and remain respectful to her business and her boundaries.

There are instances when the parties become consumed by these feelings where they lose sense of limitations and start crossing the lines like stalking, being obsessive, disrespecting the other person and their feelings and limitations because over consumed by emotions and stop being human and conscious about their actions. So some people in this industry try to prevent these situations and automatically “pile on” and call you a loser. Other times they are scared of anything love. They probably got hurt, or have not healed and any mention of the word triggers memories and emotions. The best way they know how to deal with it is deflected and project their feelings onto the other when in reality it is themselves that they are projecting onto you lol

The way you know its love is if you are willing to put her ahead of all your needs and emotions and your actions don’t cause her any harm or discomfort and you do what is best for her even if it means never speaking and/or seeing her again if she wants that. A lot of people don’t realize the fine limits of the love being referred to and what it actually means. They want to love them but they are lusting them and just end up using them.

In this industry feelings and emotions are very important for some because some guys can’t get hard and finish the session. If I don’t feel anything for the girl and I feel like she is all fake and stupid and her attitude sucks is arrogant etc..I will not get hard regardless of her social perceived hotness. Feelings are part of normal life and it does not necessarily need to be fake. Can just be part of the moment thing and once you close the door close it to the emotions. This is no different than developing a connection to the girl that works at a local coffee shop and eventually both of you start sharing your personal life and end up being interested in following up next time you see her but don’t take it beyond the coffee shop.

So nothing wrong with feelings and developing more feelings as long as you remain respectful to her limits, emotions and her business and care for her interest. If she wants more she will let you know and lead you along.

 

[Jasmine Raine]

A "relationship" with the SP is itself a fantasy and different from a regular relationship. It starts in different circumstances and it runs differently. You may fool yourself that it's the same, but it's not. I don't say that there are not exceptions and you may be the one, but on the whole, if you're looking for a relationship, this is not the place to find it.

You can't love a sex worker when paying for an hour or two of her time. She is on her A-game or at least should be. You don't know her without makeup, on bad days, her personal life story and personal problems and she doesn't really know yours.


You hit the nail on the head, it is a fantasy. It is all of the good with none of the bad and therefore not real at all.

People use the word love way to much. When most really have no idea what love truly means.

 

[jcpro]

You can't love a sex worker when paying for an hour or two of her time. She is on her A-game or at least should be. You don't know her without makeup, on bad days, her personal life story and personal problems and she doesn't really know yours.


You hit the nail on the head, it is a fantasy. It is all of the good with none of the bad and therefore not real at all.

People use the word love way to much. When most really have no idea what love truly means.

Correct. No lady enters the trade in search of her significant other.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

When you become attached to any woman you're a loser to them.

nailed it in one. Great topic though. surprised it has never come up before. makes me rub my hands with glee at the thought. Three things are guaranteed in life. Death. Taxes. and being made to feel ridiculous for falling in love. We all have done it.

My obsession fizzled out last time when my ATF had her friend make veiled death threats on her behalf.
Guess she didn't appreciate me showing up wearing a turtle neck with a guitar.

 

[manman221]

When you become attached to any woman you're a loser to them.

LOL I think you had one too many red pills!

 

[Wappa]

You can't love a sex worker when paying for an hour or two of her time. She is on her A-game or at least should be. You don't know her without makeup, on bad days, her personal life story and personal problems and she doesn't really know yours.


You hit the nail on the head, it is a fantasy. It is all of the good with none of the bad and therefore not real at all.

People use the word love way to much. When most really have no idea what love truly means.

I feel like love has many shades. To define it in a narrow fashion and/or claim exclusive insight into this mystery is, in my opinion, absurd. For instance, the common phrase (but not common occurrence) “to fall deeply in love” suggests that there are many depths, including perhaps a “shallower” type of love...one that is perhaps derived from seeing an SP and treating each other lovingly and respectfully.


The Greeks enumerated multiple types of love...agape, philia, eros, etc. Look em up.

Basically, love isn’t simply the “forever and ever” kind. Narrow to think otherwise.

 

[wazup]

Because 90% plus of the time they are 20 plus years younger and have zero physical attraction to us. Although you seem to realize the fantasy part, many probably don't. Some get infatuated and cause the girl to quit.

A thai hooker fucked me senseless, said she would come back and didn't. I consider myself hardened but really wanted her to come back, never saw her again.

 

[squeezer]

if you're falling in love with your "paid" provider find another hobby.

 

[Wappa]

Agreed. Try not to let yourself get blinded by love, whatever type it is.

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I feel like love has many shades. To define it in a narrow fashion and/or claim exclusive insight into this mystery is, in my opinion, absurd. For instance, the common phrase (but not common occurrence) “to fall deeply in love” suggests that there are many depths, including perhaps a “shallower” type of love...one that is perhaps derived from seeing an SP and treating each other lovingly and respectfully.


The Greeks enumerated multiple types of love...agape, philia, eros, etc. Look em up.

Basically, love isn’t simply the “forever and ever” kind. Narrow to think otherwise.

Yeah exactly.

You can’t really define it. There are so many definitions.

Best is just to allow the person to define it for themselves once they understand the published and widely accepted types.

At the end of the day you just feel it, and know when its present, but need to make sure its not lust just trying to fuck with you.

 

[Jasmine Raine]

I feel like love has many shades. To define it in a narrow fashion and/or claim exclusive insight into this mystery is, in my opinion, absurd. For instance, the common phrase (but not common occurrence) “to fall deeply in love” suggests that there are many depths, including perhaps a “shallower” type of love...one that is perhaps derived from seeing an SP and treating each other lovingly and respectfully.


The Greeks enumerated multiple types of love...agape, philia, eros, etc. Look em up.

Basically, love isn’t simply the “forever and ever” kind. Narrow to think otherwise.

I think there are other feelings to describe those ”layers of love” as you see them.

To me love is something unconditional. EOD. You can't love an SP based on the condition of the transaction. You can really like her, thoroughly enjoy your time with her, make a connection on an emotional level even, but it is not love.

Not in my humble opinion and I'm willing to agree to disagree here.

 

[Tashki]

Yeah exactly.

You can’t really define it. There are so many definitions.

Best is just to allow the person to define it for themselves once they understand the published and widely accepted types.

At the end of the day you just feel it, and know when its present, but need to make sure its not lust just trying to fuck with you.

If it’s lust, then lust is love to me.

I tell my friends this all the time. You look at a woman and she just brightens up your day, she puts a smile on your face when you look at her. She brings you joy just from her presence and if you were walking with her outside and she’s feeling cold, you would give her your jacket to wear with no hesitation. Your heart heats up whenever you are with her. You can describe that however you like.

Here’s a second scenario. You look at a woman and you end up biting your bottom lip. You get an adrenaline rush that is quite exhilarating and you get a hard boner just from looking at her. You think about banging the dog shit out of her doggystyle standing up. Every time you see this woman, your dick gets hard instantly. Describe that however you like.

I’m into females who fit more into the second scenario. I would love to be in any kind of relationship where I just have an undying thirst for the woman. Where my cock gets hard every time I’m with them while they wear black lingerie, stockings with the garter belt and everytime they walk with high heels their booty jiggles. That’s why I love sex workers so much.

 

[studentjohn]

I hate to say it OP but you sound very cuckoldish. Many sps panties are getting bone dry reading your posts. They are laughing though so they thank you for the laughs hehe.

 

[J.A. Prufrock]

Many sps panties are getting bone dry reading your posts.

I'm fairly new to the game. But this is not a good thing, right?

 

[|2 /-\ | /|/]

I think there are other feelings to describe those ”layers of love” as you see them.

To me love is something unconditional. EOD. You can't love an SP based on the condition of the transaction. You can really like her, thoroughly enjoy your time with her, make a connection on an emotional level even, but it is not love.

Not in my humble opinion and I'm willing to agree to disagree here.

Thats bullshit and you know it.

Paying for it has nothing to do with it. I pay for a lot of things like my coffee, RMT massage, dental and hygienist appointments, so what I am totally supposed block myself off of these people because I pay. What if you accidentally happen to come across the one, and you meet them in the SP interaction are you going to be so stubborn and say ohh well they paid it so it cannot be real, they tell me all the time not to do these the same people who have broken relationships and never experienced true love. You can also take this further with marriage and say ohh she doesn’t love me, all she want is my seed and my money and my reputation and to please her friends and parents with a handsome and successful husband that they approve so she can be accepted by her piers, family friends, colleagues, society etc. You see how bullshit that sounds. Obviously, nobody in their right mind should take on SPing in hopes of finding their future mate, and that alone carries a lot of issues for any individual who thinks it, however it sometimes happens and you find the one in the most unexpected places. There are a few stories people shared on here where it has happened and it is real. So what if you finally do meet him are you going to be scared of hurt because its so taboo because they tell you not to.

Hey thats your choice at the end of the day. If you think you can control love, I think you are fooling yourself and it will bever be real because you interfered in it with that mindset.