I don't pay my friends to see me though. That's an odd friendship. Anyway, just sitting here waiting for my wife to finish her makeup so we can get to our friends by 12... but it's 11:15, I gotta go drag her out the door, happy new year all!Alexis696969 said:
Why do clients want to change Sps ?
- Thread starter Alexis696969
- Start date
fuji said:
well i considered him a special business friend during the time we shared .......lots of sps and clients are friendly with one another !!!!!
I'm friendly with a lot of people. Like someone upthread said, there's a difference between being friendly with someone and being "great friends". I'm friendly with my enemiesAlexis696969 said:
As someone said, one or both of you has not seen the line that divides a paid relationship from a real one, and now he's crossed over to a point you are uncomfortable with. If you really were "great friends" you probably wouldn't be so pissed off about it.
You DID open this thread with "Why do clients want to change Sps" so you plainly still do think of him in "client" terms and not in "friend" terms, but I'm guessing he thinks of you in some inappropriate way. (That wouldn't be inappropriate if it was reciprocated, I'm guessing it's not reciprocated.)
Tough situation. In his head I'm sure he thinks that he is doing you a real favour here, but also looking out for himself. Using his position with you to help you get on your feet by paying for school, and tying it to a condition that takes you away from the world of escorting. At the same time he is protecting his interests by doing this in a form of an ultimatum. He likely has the ability and strength to stay away from you for a period of time to reinforce his offer. This is compounded by the familiarity that exists because of the length of time you have been seeing each other.
What you need to ask yourself is are you willing to give him this type of control over you? And if you do go down this path with him, what other ultimatums will he make to you once he has complete control of you once you have dismissed your other clients?
Currently if you loose him as a client it will hurt in the short term, but you can recover by quietly adding a few additions to your client base. On the other had, if you do as he asks, you are relying solely on him in the future and if you decide to go against a request of his, he has real control over you because he would be your only addtional source of income and can turn the tap off until you fall into line with what he wants.
My advise is to politely turn his offer down, and explain that you are not prepared for that type of exclusivity with those types of condiditons. He will do one of three things: continue to see you regularly; try to reinforce his request by not seeing you for a period of time (and then come back); move on to other SP's. In all three cases you get to maintain your own personal freedom, and make your own adjustments dependent upon his reaction.
What you need to ask yourself is are you willing to give him this type of control over you? And if you do go down this path with him, what other ultimatums will he make to you once he has complete control of you once you have dismissed your other clients?
Currently if you loose him as a client it will hurt in the short term, but you can recover by quietly adding a few additions to your client base. On the other had, if you do as he asks, you are relying solely on him in the future and if you decide to go against a request of his, he has real control over you because he would be your only addtional source of income and can turn the tap off until you fall into line with what he wants.
My advise is to politely turn his offer down, and explain that you are not prepared for that type of exclusivity with those types of condiditons. He will do one of three things: continue to see you regularly; try to reinforce his request by not seeing you for a period of time (and then come back); move on to other SP's. In all three cases you get to maintain your own personal freedom, and make your own adjustments dependent upon his reaction.
My 2 cents. There are always 3 sides of the story. SP, Customer and the little birdie sitting on a branch.
It's easy to be an arm chair critics when one is detached from the situation without knowing and experiecing the intimate details of this said long business /friend relationship. In life, every action or event leads to a situation which takes us to the unexpected.
Everyone has their own selfish or sincere agenda whether it's concious or sub conscious level - both SP and Customer. We are not totally selfless and unconditional as much as we think we are.
It takes 2 to tangle to get into a conflict or misunderstanding. I don't care if it's fair or not from either side. Perceptions were formed by both parties and obviously there was a gap even after such a "long relationship". You would think the customer would know your personality, needs and beliefs before he pitched you the proposal. Or maybe he did and wanted to lay it on the line because he wanted to test how much you like or need him?
Alexis ultimately knows the answer to her problem. Noone else.
The question is do both of you want to salvage this biz/friend relationship or shut the door ? That's the bottom line. Be honest with yourself.
P.S why did it take him so long to pitch the exclusive? and was this the 1st time he wanted to save you and give you a better life?
It's easy to be an arm chair critics when one is detached from the situation without knowing and experiecing the intimate details of this said long business /friend relationship. In life, every action or event leads to a situation which takes us to the unexpected.
Everyone has their own selfish or sincere agenda whether it's concious or sub conscious level - both SP and Customer. We are not totally selfless and unconditional as much as we think we are.
It takes 2 to tangle to get into a conflict or misunderstanding. I don't care if it's fair or not from either side. Perceptions were formed by both parties and obviously there was a gap even after such a "long relationship". You would think the customer would know your personality, needs and beliefs before he pitched you the proposal. Or maybe he did and wanted to lay it on the line because he wanted to test how much you like or need him?
Alexis ultimately knows the answer to her problem. Noone else.
The question is do both of you want to salvage this biz/friend relationship or shut the door ? That's the bottom line. Be honest with yourself.
P.S why did it take him so long to pitch the exclusive? and was this the 1st time he wanted to save you and give you a better life?
Good grief
Alexa Taylor said:This is all so familiar. Men can be so territorial. It's time to dump him as a client because he is not involved in your personal life. Tell him if he wants you to not see anyone else then to make it worth your while as your personal sugar daddy. E.g. Supporting you each and every month with what you feel is fair and acceptable according to your expenses. Although he sounds controlling and possesive already so taking him up on his offer isn't a good idea. Trust me, I have firsthand experience on this one. Also, ask him why he sees SPs and is it morally acceptable in the *real world*? Some men like to give the lecture and "that you're too good, blah, blah, blah" eases his conscience because he feels guilty for whatever reasons. It has nothing to do with YOU but rather his own ego."
........whereas women aren't the slightest bit territorial, and of course they never try to change their man and control his behaviour.
True. I've seen many SP's who offer "exclusive" monthly rates where they claim that they will only see that particular client and will make that client their #1 priority. It doesn't prevent him from seeing other SP's. I knew one guy who was loaded and he had 4 or 5 girls he had such deals with. He liked that fact that he had several girls all available just for him. Made him feel like the sh*t or something.Garrett said:
Alexis - It sounds like that is what this guy has in mind and is willing to pay a higher rate for it. Just tell him "no deal." End of story. No reason to get all bent out of shape over this guy.
bayisle66 said:How true! Had one SP who would get upset when she found out I see other ones also. The biggest example of this is a strip club on a slow night.Alexa Taylor said:........whereas women aren't the slightest bit territorial, and of course they never try to change their man and control his behaviour.
Wow !!! did i piss off some of you clients out there !!!!
what a way to start the new year lmao
for those that pmed me
for those that are understanding -thankyou xoxo
listen up if you think im so horrible because i wont exclusively se him .......thats fine !
I didnt become an escort to meet a husband !
and I dont think most others here want one either
I thought about that comment with fuji saying you cant have your friends pay you ........well guess what clients and escorts do become friends ,not always but most times if he see eachg other alot .......and i dont have a problem with saying he has to pay either ....so i can understand why lots of guys dont want to see a girl as a regular cause they think they could possibly like her too much !On the otherhand i dont want regulars if they cant handle it like a stable adult and take it for what its worth a time we share together thats special and take the good out of that with you ....escorts are not making any false promises nor are they leading you on ..its all written in black and white .they are giving you a service for a length of time that you desire and its your choice to accept what is being offered .I cant control someone elses emotions and if they find it is causing them grief ,which turns into hate ,then perhaps seeing escorts is not for you .Yes there are a very few exceptions of ladies and clients that have gone off into the sunset ...so anythings possible being human ....i rather hold on to a fantasy like 'pretty woman ' then be exclusive to one guy who will see lots of gals ....who wants me sitting put ......i dont need an education to figure that out !
what a way to start the new year lmao
for those that pmed me
for those that are understanding -thankyou xoxo
listen up if you think im so horrible because i wont exclusively se him .......thats fine !
I didnt become an escort to meet a husband !
and I dont think most others here want one either
I thought about that comment with fuji saying you cant have your friends pay you ........well guess what clients and escorts do become friends ,not always but most times if he see eachg other alot .......and i dont have a problem with saying he has to pay either ....so i can understand why lots of guys dont want to see a girl as a regular cause they think they could possibly like her too much !On the otherhand i dont want regulars if they cant handle it like a stable adult and take it for what its worth a time we share together thats special and take the good out of that with you ....escorts are not making any false promises nor are they leading you on ..its all written in black and white .they are giving you a service for a length of time that you desire and its your choice to accept what is being offered .I cant control someone elses emotions and if they find it is causing them grief ,which turns into hate ,then perhaps seeing escorts is not for you .Yes there are a very few exceptions of ladies and clients that have gone off into the sunset ...so anythings possible being human ....i rather hold on to a fantasy like 'pretty woman ' then be exclusive to one guy who will see lots of gals ....who wants me sitting put ......i dont need an education to figure that out !
It looks like he wants a mistress who is only available to him, while he lives the life he wants to. I think you are right to turn him down unless you want a serious relationship with theguy, which it seems you don't.
It's like trying to have your cake and eat it too, it get messy!!
It's like trying to have your cake and eat it too, it get messy!!
Hello Alexis,
You may agree that this is a make believe hobby. Shakespeare's All the world is a stage, and men and women are merely the players, they have their exits and entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts.... And then the lover,Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress' eyebrow.
...You may agree that in this hobby any emotional attachment is poison to both parties.
I have been in this hobby for years, and did have regular visits to selected SPs, ...One of these was an MPA who would be SP on this side...MPA/SP was the nprm at that place. I repeated her many times...and one day while she received me enthusiastically I noticed that during the liaison she was consistently watching the Security camera, and suddenly stopped when she saw another of her regular on the camera and abruptly proceeded to finish the act...and she advised me that it was one of her 'other' regulars.
Since then I stopped repeating. It is so difficult to build a friendly relationship with any SP.
I am in this hobby, since I seek variety and divers experience by my nature.
I now focus on TERB reviews and go accordingly. Most of these lead to positive, refreshing, relaxing experiences hopefully for the SP also, and occasionally I come across YMMV experiences. That is fine since TERB has also explained the whys of it.
Regards. Salik
You may agree that this is a make believe hobby. Shakespeare's All the world is a stage, and men and women are merely the players, they have their exits and entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts.... And then the lover,Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress' eyebrow.
...You may agree that in this hobby any emotional attachment is poison to both parties.
I have been in this hobby for years, and did have regular visits to selected SPs, ...One of these was an MPA who would be SP on this side...MPA/SP was the nprm at that place. I repeated her many times...and one day while she received me enthusiastically I noticed that during the liaison she was consistently watching the Security camera, and suddenly stopped when she saw another of her regular on the camera and abruptly proceeded to finish the act...and she advised me that it was one of her 'other' regulars.
Since then I stopped repeating. It is so difficult to build a friendly relationship with any SP.
I am in this hobby, since I seek variety and divers experience by my nature.
I now focus on TERB reviews and go accordingly. Most of these lead to positive, refreshing, relaxing experiences hopefully for the SP also, and occasionally I come across YMMV experiences. That is fine since TERB has also explained the whys of it.
Regards. Salik
So, you're going to graciously thank him for his offer and tell him no thanks right?Alexis696969 said:
I told him i can keep seeing him ,but I dont want the offer or ultimatum .If he ends up hating me or misjudging me then I wont see him ever again .So im sure I wont get an answer back on this today .If hes reading the board ,hes not hearing anything new ,the only thing new is he has changed i havent !
Part of being someone's friend is being there for them when they need you. If he lost his job and couldn't pay you anymore but he needed someone to spend some time with to console him, would you still be there for him? And I don't just mean "sure once or twice until he finds another job", say he is injured and loses his career. Would you stick around? If not you are no friend. Don't fool yourself or him about that.Alexis696969 said:
He is using you for sex. You are using him for money. So long as you both know that and are comfortable with it it's all good. If either one of you loses sight of that and starts to think it's some other kind of relationship, and it's NOT reciprocated, it's guaranteed to be a mess and a problem. If it's reciprocated presumably you wouldn't WANT him to pay you.
As I said, there is a big difference between being "friendly" and being "friends", I am friendly with my co-workers, with sales folk, even with my enemies. It never hurts to be friendly. But I am friends with only a select few people in this world.
That's my personal policy for all SP's / MP's / dancers. I don't become anyone's regular. 99.9% of the time there's no chance I'm going to develop feelings for them, but making it a rule means that in the 0.01% of cases where i'ts possible it won't happen--either for me or for her. (It's just as messy when an SP gets attached to a customer, especially un unavailable married customer like me) I'll see an SP more than once but not without seeing 10+ other SP's first.
Well there's one women who can call me her regular, the one I married
I'm her regular, though I'm not her customer, she's also the one who I think would stand by me if I was broke.yeah well Rich or poor a wife wouldnt stand by a guy if she knew he rather have sex with other woman .........paleaseeeeee......so yeah what she doesnt know wont hurt her ..thats why she will stand by ..........unless shes open minded like sps ...then youve got it made .fuji said:Well there's one women who can call me her regular, the one I married
