Why didn't I see this coming!!!? :(

[elassowipo1]

Some really f'd up stuff just happened to me and I just wanted to vent.

I've been in a relationship with a girl for the past year and everything was going well: things were getting more and more serious, no fights, lots of fun, great times all around. My feelings for her were strong and it seems like she felt the same way.

Two weeks ago she left for London, U.k. supposedly to visit friends etc. I even chatted with her online during her flight. I think the last message she sent me was "I love you".

After she arrived in London, I lose all communication with her: no emails, I'm off her Facebook, texts/calls not answered. I was completely shut out.

Just yesterday (on Valentines day of all days!!!) I find out that apparently shes been engaged to another man the whole time we were in a relationship. There were no signs, no warning whatsoever.

She really deserved an Oscar for that performance.

I feel seriously used and played for a sucker. I feel like such an idiot.

At least I've learned some valuable lessons from this experience.

Cheers

 

[Hangman]

That sucks. But look on the bright side: at least she didn't turn out to be a dude!

 

[Gentle Ben]

Ummm, maybe she found out about your extra curricular activities?

 

[artj]

it sounds like she was a real player. i hope you didn't loose any of money!

 

[elassowipo1]

That sucks. But look on the bright side: at least she didn't turn out to be a dude!

Haha yea it sucks but you're right, its not the worst that could have happened.

 

[papasmerf]

be even more pissed if you paid for her ticket to London

 

[elassowipo1]

Ummm, maybe she found out about your extra curricular activities?

I'm not too sure that's the reason. In fact the last time I went to a stripclub was with HER and we even hired an SP for a threesome once.

 

[a 1 player]

elassowipo1,

Same shit (almost the same), happened to me. I had NO IDEA for over a year. Just remember, not all women are like that.

you should be happy your not the dude she's engaged to. can you imagine what he's in for if he does marry her.

a-fucking-men to that!

 

[artj]

all women have a mean streak in them. each one uses it differtent

 

[elassowipo1]

elassowipo1,

Same shit (almost the same), happened to me. I had NO IDEA for over a year. Just remember, not all women are like that.



a-fucking-men to that!

Thanks for the words of encouragement a1. I guess both of us have been in the same boat. I'm still a young guy so I will get over this and I know that the vast majority women are not even remotely this sadistic.

 

[elassowipo1]

you should be happy your not the dude she's engaged to. can you imagine what he's in for if he does marry her.

Yea at least I was able to cut my losses and move on. This guy has no idea what he's in for if he gets stuck with her.

 

[a 1 player]

Thanks for the words of encouragement a1. I guess both of us have been in the same boat. I'm still a young guy so I will get over this and I know that the vast majority women are not even remotely this sadistic.

It might be a good idea to warn her fiance if you can find a way. Not out of spite, but to genuinely warn a man who might just be about to ruin his life. Fuck, I would have appreciated it if somebody had let me know, (if anyone knew).

 

[joeblow63]

you will get over it

i know how you feel bud. after 20 years of marriage,mine too. just pick up an left. mind you, she took over half of our savings and most of the furniture. she was nice to leave me a few old dishes to eat off of. now how i deal with it. i use escorts!! of course i know i have to pay them! its still cheaper than what my wife cost me. so have a drink and call a lady. good luck buddy!

 

[HAMSTER INSPECTOR]

Haunt her.

Lets her know that your still alive and did not crawl into a hole and die. Let her know the possibilities. Maybe you might share with the new hubby.
Even if you are a nice guy and would do no harm to her. Throw a scare into her. Remind her of the strip club visit, and the SP threesome. I would at least get and explanation and an apology. Don t let her off the hook, I would keep her swaeting at least for two years. She left you behind to die. Payback is a bitch, just show up where she works and invite her out to lunch. I wonder what her reaction will be.

 

[joseppi]

If she ever gets married to the other guy i bet that she will not be married long. Once an offender always an offender. Mabey she just used the engaged excuse to get ride of you. We all get played at one time or another so just move on. There are more fish in the sea.

.

 

[elassowipo1]

That's insane. I could never put up a front like that.

Is the from the UK? Was her fiancé there the whole time? What was she doing for work?
I can imagine her wanting some companionship while being in a long distance relationship, but why lead you on?
Or... Maybe she isn't actually engaged and she just felt like she needed to get out of the country on her own to figure herself out. I've contemplated doing that numerous times (although I'd go to Australia).

She was from originally from Eastern Europe but grew up here in Canada. Her fiance has been in the UK the whole time we were in a relationship but I think he attended university here before going back (I'm guessing thats how they met). Before she left she did counseling work and was also a part time writer.

Ya if all she wanted was a "temp bf" then I would have been fine with that but she led me to believe she wanted something much more serious.

Based on the evidence I've recently seen, I'm 100% sure shes really getting married soon.

 

[elassowipo1]

i know how you feel bud. after 20 years of marriage,mine too. just pick up an left. mind you, she took over half of our savings and most of the furniture. she was nice to leave me a few old dishes to eat off of. now how i deal with it. i use escorts!! of course i know i have to pay them! its still cheaper than what my wife cost me. so have a drink and call a lady. good luck buddy!

Thanks for the kind words man. I only lost a year plus a few bucks, not that much in the grand scheme of things, at least nothing like what you went through.

 

[elassowipo1]

It might be a good idea to warn her fiance if you can find a way. Not out of spite, but to genuinely warn a man who might just be about to ruin his life. Fuck, I would have appreciated it if somebody had let me know, (if anyone knew).

Ya that did cross my mind. I mean, I wouldn't tell him everything but maybe give him a heads up on what kind of person she really is.

 

[Dick Starbuck]

Lets her know that your still alive and did not crawl into a hole and die. Let her know the possibilities. Maybe you might share with the new hubby.
Even if you are a nice guy and would do no harm to her. Throw a scare into her. Remind her of the strip club visit, and the SP threesome. I would at least get and explanation and an apology. Don t let her off the hook, I would keep her swaeting at least for two years. She left you behind to die. Payback is a bitch, just show up where she works and invite her out to lunch. I wonder what her reaction will be.

I'm with Hamster on this one...

 

[Jade4u]

Are you sure you still to now have all the facts. She did still talk and say she loved you on the plane. Are you sure she is not in some kind of trouble once she landed or settled in after awhile? This relationship went on for some legnth of time without any other outward signs or suspicions. I know it is possible for people to use others but with the distance apart now it is hard to say what the whole truth is behind her recent behaviour. It may not just be who else is involved in her life over there now but also why else. Maybe someone else has alernative motives too.

Why did you not see this coming is possible that maybe she didn't. Was she having internet communications with someone else (maybe not a fiance) and got lured away.

Would you say you are good at predicting sincerity in other peoples emotions? You said she appeared to feel the same way.