why is my marriage failing?
I'm in a downward spiral, or maybe just the bottom of a low ground roll.
Marrying a girl you have only known for a few months is deliciously reckless stupidity. I'm not naive and wasn't that fateful day 5 years ago either but I was tricked. I knew from the start that she was a deadly match for me, a woman that could challenge me mentally and by lifestyle. I can sense a woman that has fire inside her and somehow I'm drawn to them. I found out later that she hated me from the first day she saw me but then grew to like me, when my GF at the time dumped me she moved in for the kill.
What I didn't know was the seething self hatred, depression, and anger within. Must have been masked by the 4X dose of antidepressants she was taking daily that cost about a car payment per month. Ah well, it was all good, I supported her while she finished university. Then she quit the medication because it made her "not as sharp" and she has since plunged into her career. Sex is a non priority and has turned from fun romps to the most boring in the dark, don't say a fucking word kinda experiences every month or two. Affection is gone to make way for constant bitching. What really drives me nuts is that she seems to think that any display of sexuality at all is for whores, I commented on how sexy her boots were one day, the next day the boots were in the trash. (I should mention that she is beautiful and has an amazing body)
It probably doesnt help that my first priority in life is having fun and that includes lots of sex. Her first priority in life has become her professional image.
I've tried to talk to her about it, suggested counseling, anything at all I would have tried for her. She just gets mad when I suggest that there is something wrong with us and if we ignore it, we'll be better. She has actually hit me over an argument like this. I could never imagine hurting her or any other woman for that matter, it kinda rocked my world in a bad way that day she punched me several times with all her anger.
Ah well, I'm rather comfortable, I like what I do and now I've found a pursuit that will keep me off her case. Sounds like a house of cards and it probably is, but its fun for now and if it all comes down around me I will still be able to live my life fully and be happy. Oh and we don't have kids if anyone is wondering about casualties of conflict, I want kids but things will have to change drastically before I send in the troops.
I miss affection, not the business-like love you at the end of a telephone call, I mean the hug and kiss that makes you warm inside, the I want to hold your hand even though it is uncomfortable and people are watching.
- A man marries a woman and expects her to stay the same and she changes, a woman marries a man expecting him to change and he doesn't
I take my share of the blame of course, I am terrible about remembering her birthday, this is probably something I hear about weekly. I perhaps like sex a little too much. etc. etc.
Well that was therapeutic for me to write that out, thank you terbites for listening (love the anonymity of the net).
I'm in a downward spiral, or maybe just the bottom of a low ground roll.
Marrying a girl you have only known for a few months is deliciously reckless stupidity. I'm not naive and wasn't that fateful day 5 years ago either but I was tricked. I knew from the start that she was a deadly match for me, a woman that could challenge me mentally and by lifestyle. I can sense a woman that has fire inside her and somehow I'm drawn to them. I found out later that she hated me from the first day she saw me but then grew to like me, when my GF at the time dumped me she moved in for the kill.
What I didn't know was the seething self hatred, depression, and anger within. Must have been masked by the 4X dose of antidepressants she was taking daily that cost about a car payment per month. Ah well, it was all good, I supported her while she finished university. Then she quit the medication because it made her "not as sharp" and she has since plunged into her career. Sex is a non priority and has turned from fun romps to the most boring in the dark, don't say a fucking word kinda experiences every month or two. Affection is gone to make way for constant bitching. What really drives me nuts is that she seems to think that any display of sexuality at all is for whores, I commented on how sexy her boots were one day, the next day the boots were in the trash. (I should mention that she is beautiful and has an amazing body)
It probably doesnt help that my first priority in life is having fun and that includes lots of sex. Her first priority in life has become her professional image.
I've tried to talk to her about it, suggested counseling, anything at all I would have tried for her. She just gets mad when I suggest that there is something wrong with us and if we ignore it, we'll be better. She has actually hit me over an argument like this. I could never imagine hurting her or any other woman for that matter, it kinda rocked my world in a bad way that day she punched me several times with all her anger.
Ah well, I'm rather comfortable, I like what I do and now I've found a pursuit that will keep me off her case. Sounds like a house of cards and it probably is, but its fun for now and if it all comes down around me I will still be able to live my life fully and be happy. Oh and we don't have kids if anyone is wondering about casualties of conflict, I want kids but things will have to change drastically before I send in the troops.
I miss affection, not the business-like love you at the end of a telephone call, I mean the hug and kiss that makes you warm inside, the I want to hold your hand even though it is uncomfortable and people are watching.
- A man marries a woman and expects her to stay the same and she changes, a woman marries a man expecting him to change and he doesn't
I take my share of the blame of course, I am terrible about remembering her birthday, this is probably something I hear about weekly. I perhaps like sex a little too much. etc. etc.
Well that was therapeutic for me to write that out, thank you terbites for listening (love the anonymity of the net).
