Why an SP/MPA shouldn't fall for a client.......

[Astra]

There have been a number of threads on the disadvantages of falling for an SP/MPA. Well gentlemen, here's another view of the situation.

Girls if you fall for your client you are only opening up a hornet's nest of trouble:

He'll never really respect you as a person.

He will not be able to accept your choice of profession and that there is a huge distinction between having sex and making love.

He'll want it for free and won't understand you when you are tired and just want to sleep.

He's a player and can't be trusted.

He's embarrassed to be seen with you in public, in case you happen to meet someone who knows you professionally.

He thinks your only interest is making $$$$!

You have lunch with a girlfriend, who is also in the business only to discover he was dipping his pen in her inkpot the night before, when he told you his wife wouldn't let him out.


These are just a few of the pitfalls, I'm sure there are many more. So ladies, keep it on a business level, look for a relationship outside of the hobby.

Just for the record, I am not and never have been emotionally involved with a client, just a bit bored and tired of all the "Can you build a relationship" with an SP threads. In my humble and yet honest opinion, one of the things we cannot control in life is where Cupid decides to aim his little arrow. I only wish that people would accept the fact that although we provide a sexual/companionship service, we are human with feelings and vulnerabilities.

Ciao
Astra

 

[MuffinMuncher]

Talk about gross generalizations!

I am sure all your points apply to at least one person, but I would argue strongly that they do NOT apply to EVERY provider/client relationship. I've made some great friends in this business, some of which crossed this unspoken line, and as long as both parties know the situation and pitfalls in advance, it works just fine.

 

[james t kirk]

I think you would be amazed at just how many women out there who at one time or another have traded sex for money of some sort.

It's not as uncommon as you might think.

I had an ex (computer engineer) who was propositioned by a guy in Australia to sleep with him for a grand. She accepted and followed through.

I dated another woman (a nurse practioner) who while in college traded sex for the rent money. She would sleep with the landlord for a free apt. in his triplex.

None of them seemed that scarred by the event.

As far as an SP falling for a client, I think that it is rare since most working girls see their clients as a job (in a way) but it could happen. Anything can happen.

I could date a former SP, that I knew at one time was a pro, provided she had quit the biz, and was a good person. I could care less about being with her and running into a former client on the street or something like that. Who cares. Well, unless he was a client of mine through work. That could be a little awkward. But what are the odds.

 

[james t kirk]

He'll never really respect you as a person.

Then why are you with him in the first place?

He will not be able to accept your choice of profession and that there is a huge distinction between having sex and making love.

Men are well aware of this distinction. Trust me. It's how attached guys ease their conscious.

He'll want it for free and

Well yes, that's what boyfriends and girlfriends do.

won't understand you when you are tired and just want to sleep.

Snore away. just as long as you like to cuddle naked, everything should be cool.

He's a player and can't be trusted.

Trust comes with time.

H

e's embarrassed to be seen with you in public, in case you happen to meet someone who knows you professionally.

See above

He thinks your only interest is making $$$$!

That one wouldn't cross my mind.

You have lunch with a girlfriend, who is also in the business only to discover he was dipping his pen in her inkpot the night before, when he told you his wife wouldn't let him out.

OK, this changes things, i thought you were referring to dating a client of yours who is single. If he is married, that means it's just an affair.

I assumed you were (hypothetically) talking about a guy who could be your honest to goodness boyfriend, but that you met professionally.

So you are back to the same old same old, don't fall for a married guy. This applies to all women, not just SP's.

Do you think you could be the fulltime girlfriend of a guy you met professionally who is SINGLE, or would that not work either just because?

 

[Astra]

LDB I would stop calling, but you've such a sexy voice. Is my cheque in the mail? lol

Muffinmuncher: Read the threads regarding SPs and see how many gross generalizations there are in those. Perhaps my final paragraph wasn't quite clear enough, the post does not necessarily reflect my opinions, it's just a minor form of retaliation for other threads on this board.

In England, as a student of the arts, many moons ago, one of my classes was English Literature, which for the most part I thoroughly enjoyed. However, I could never understand why a book could not just simply be read and either liked or disliked, why was it necessary to try to get into the author's head and imagine why he wrote such a novel, poem or essay. Similarly, I think, why wonder what drives a service provider, simply enjoy. It should really be irrelevant whether or not she's in it for the money or the pleasure or both, if you have a good time, accept it at face value and stop trying to over analyse situations. Do I personally believe a client and an SP can build a relationship - yes, do I think it wise, it's not really my business to judge, just to wish them all the luck in the world and hope it works out.

OK, I think I've reached my post quota for the month.

Ciao
Astra

 

[Dr Watchsom]

There have been a number of threads on the disadvantages of falling for an SP/MPA. Well gentlemen, here's another view of the situation.


He'll never really respect you as a person.

If he doesnt respect you why would he want to get emotionally involved
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

He'll want it for free and won't understand you when you are tired and just want to sleep.

And of course this doesnt happen with all couples in a relationship
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He's a player and can't be trusted.

so now we're all pimps
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He's embarrassed to be seen with you in public, in case you happen to meet someone who knows you professionally.

Chances are he would never know. I realy cant see some cleint walking up to you and starting a conversation when your with someone else. Thats like saying the client is afraid to go out with his wife incase her meets you.
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He thinks your only interest is making $$$$!

Imho if thats what your interested in it would make me more secure because you can seperate your busness from your personal life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have lunch with a girlfriend, who is also in the business only to discover he was dipping his pen in her inkpot the night before, when he told you his wife wouldn't let him out.

Getting involved with a married man has alot more draw backs than a relationship with an sp and if hes cheeting on his wife with you you it doesnt mean hes seeing every sp in town and if he is than maybe you should look at yourself to see what your doing wrong
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are just a few of the pitfalls, I'm sure there are many more. So ladies, keep it on a business level, look for a relationship outside of the hobby.

So your saying find someone outside of the busness but are you going to tell him what you do for a living. Not much of a relationship if you have to lie.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In my humble and yet honest opinion, one of the things we cannot control in life is where Cupid decides to aim his little arrow. I only wish that people would accept the fact that although we provide a sexual/companionship service, we are human with feelings and vulnerabilities.

Now your contridicting yourself on the one hand your saying its not a good idea but above your saying it could happen

 

[maxim4]

someone forgot to mention.........

that most guys do not like to think of other guys with their current flame!

 

[Rivera]

Re: Re: Why an SP/MPA shouldn't fall for a client.......

There have been a number of threads on the disadvantages of falling for an SP/MPA. Well gentlemen, here's another view of the situation.


He'll never really respect you as a person.

If he doesnt respect you why would he want to get emotionally involved
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.

He'll want it for free and won't understand you when you are tired and just want to sleep.

And of course this doesnt happen with all couples in a relationship
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He's a player and can't be trusted.

so now we're all pimps
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He's embarrassed to be seen with you in public, in case you happen to meet someone who knows you professionally.

Chances are he would never know. I realy cant see some cleint walking up to you and starting a conversation when your with someone else. Thats like saying the client is afraid to go out with his wife incase her meets you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He thinks your only interest is making $$$$!

Imho if thats what your interested in it would make me more secure because you can seperate your busness from your personal life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have lunch with a girlfriend, who is also in the business only to discover he was dipping his pen in her inkpot the night before, when he told you his wife wouldn't let him out.

Getting involved with a married man has alot more draw backs than a relationship with an sp and if hes cheeting on his wife with you you it doesnt mean hes seeing every sp in town and if he is than maybe you should look at yourself to see what your doing wrong
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are just a few of the pitfalls, I'm sure there are many more. So ladies, keep it on a business level, look for a relationship outside of the hobby.

So your saying find someone outside of the busness but are you going to tell him what you do for a living. Not much of a relationship if you have to lie.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In my humble and yet honest opinion, one of the things we cannot control in life is where Cupid decides to aim his little arrow. I only wish that people would accept the fact that although we provide a sexual/companionship service, we are human with feelings and vulnerabilities.

Now your contridicting yourself on the one hand your saying its not a good idea but above your saying it could happen

That's not a contradiction.

 

[ToronToto]

In England, as a student of the arts, many moons ago, one of my classes was English Literature, which for the most part I thoroughly enjoyed. However, I could never understand why a book could not just simply be read and either liked or disliked, why was it necessary to try to get into the author's head and imagine why he wrote such a novel, poem or essay.

Why bother even reading the book? ... just to get a passing grade? ... because the education was paid for and expensive?

We are now in a position to do things by choice (plus we also pay for it). We are also curious, ask questions, over-achieve. Many of us are passionate about hobbying. We don't want to treat it like going to see an over-hyped movie where you have little expections.

Btw, we should taking hobbying less seriously and always have fun.

 

[BadMonkey]

Quick reality check...

A guy I know fell hard for an SP a few years ago, and apparently she fell for him too because now they are married. She is no longer an SP, a decision that she (as far as I know) came to on her own while they were dating.

I can't speak for anyone else, but my friend did, and still does, have a hard time with it. He exibits this by trying to keep a very tight leash on her. I've seen him tell her how to dress, how to wear her hair, how to act, the list goes on and on. He's called me when he was away on business to ask me to drop by their house because he had called and there was no answer. He has gone through her e-mails and computer files.

For her part, she seems to care about him and takes his behavior with a grain of salt (ok, maybe more a mountain than a grain) and I can't help but feel sorry for her... and for him.

When they met as SP and client, she was providing a fantasy. While I understand how he fell in love with that part of her, I can also see how distinguishing the fantasy from the reality three years later has been hard for both of them, but especially for her.

For anyone who choses to walk that path, I wish you luck (you'll surely need it). As for me, I'll keep my fantasies within the allotted time frame and chase reality elsewhere.

BM

 

[bushism]

I know of an escort who fell for her client , he appeared like he really cared for her and wanted to date her. but all along it was a ploy to get free sex without any kind of commitment .

these type of relationships rarely work and are doomed from the begining , keep it anonymous/ professional is best .

 

[RemyMartin]

Badmonkey, yours friend asked you to drop by his house?
did you ..........

 

[Ophelia Black]

I don't take my work home with me. End of story.

 

[Snook.fr]

Lalalalala....whisthling

Am I the only one who does not care about why SP's should not fall in love with whomever they want...??

To each his/her own business...

 

[sweet guy]

There have been a number of threads on the disadvantages of falling for an SP/MPA. Well gentlemen, here's another view of the situation.

Girls if you fall for your client you are only opening up a hornet's nest of trouble:

He'll never really respect you as a person.

He will not be able to accept your choice of profession and that there is a huge distinction between having sex and making love.

He'll want it for free and won't understand you when you are tired and just want to sleep.

He's a player and can't be trusted.

He's embarrassed to be seen with you in public, in case you happen to meet someone who knows you professionally.

He thinks your only interest is making $$$$!

You have lunch with a girlfriend, who is also in the business only to discover he was dipping his pen in her inkpot the night before, when he told you his wife wouldn't let him out.


These are just a few of the pitfalls, I'm sure there are many more. So ladies, keep it on a business level, look for a relationship outside of the hobby.

Just for the record, I am not and never have been emotionally involved with a client, just a bit bored and tired of all the "Can you build a relationship" with an SP threads. In my humble and yet honest opinion, one of the things we cannot control in life is where Cupid decides to aim his little arrow. I only wish that people would accept the fact that although we provide a sexual/companionship service, we are human with feelings and vulnerabilities.

Ciao
Astra

Well versed points of views but I have something to say on the same issue.

1) I would spank the monkey if she is tired and just want to sleep....unless she believes the "spanking" should be banned when we are together in a marriage or common-law relationship.

2) I respect woman working as SP. They just wanna earn a living like the rest of us, given the fact that the choices of works available are decreasing.

3) Privacy is utmost importance and I think people who know her professionally usually obey the "rules of the game". Put it this way, do the "married clients" want to be exposed by the SP and when they meet together with the spouses? Only the Jerks don't care but honestly that's one of the risks in this line of work.

4) Personally, I think I am one of the few guys who really "play" around with a single digit number of ladies, civilian or the pros. Sure many guys enjoy the time with SP could be players but does it warrent to jump into the conclusion that all guys are players? How would you feel when guys jump into the conclusion saying that all SPs are hoes and sexually addicted?

5) Everybody are working for money and SP is no exception, more or less. That all depends on the person herself. Nothing wrong with that, we all have bills to pay.

I do agree with you that it is hardly to have any SP emotionally involve with a client.

For the client, this is really tough, especially when he falls with the SP who seems to be everything a dream girlfriend should be.

Guy usually refuse to acknowledge that the SP in question will never date with client, no matter how good the client is willing to please her and good on intimacy (only she knows which client is good at that). Instead, she will date a "civilian" guy who is not in the same town here to minimize herself from being exposed.

If she really takes a leap of faith and that's a BIG IF to take your infacutration/crush/love into consideration, will the guy in question really prepare themselves emotionally to deal with it?

Plus, when the guy spell the L word, she probably will freak out as the pressure is building up on her.

My take, you can take the shot but never and ever say the L word to the SP. Enjoy the time together as long as you can.

The positive outcome could be what you learn here with SP could be helpful to find a "civilian" GF. But be forewarned the "civilian" GF are not as "enlightened" and "caring" as the pros when it comes to sex. You should consider yourself very lucky if you can find a "civilian" GF who is on par, if not better than the pro.

My .02 cents

 

[duMaurierguy]

Re: Quick reality check...

I'll keep my fantasies within the allotted time frame and chase reality elsewhere.BM

This is the best way to approach the hobby. Then again, one never knows when Cupid's arrow will strike and with whom.

 

[sweet guy]

I think someone had already mentioned before but I like to repeat other potential downside on falling in love with SP/MPA,

If and that's BIG IF you and your SP fall in love together, how would you deal with the situation when.....

1) your SP is a single mom? I have no prejudice to single mom. Are you emotionally prepared to have ready made family? How can you tell for sure she has no longer have intimate feelings with the child/children father?

2) your SP lose income substantially? Are you able to "compensate" the losses she can earn from working as a pro, while keeping her current lifestyle?

3) your SP change into a "different" person, something you never imagine? Now you really have GF or wife for real, NOT GFE or PSE she "used" to be.


That's all I can think of for now.

 

[gala]

yup

Astra, I think you hit the nail right on the head. But you missed one item: fear of any of the above. Even when none of those things actually happen the suspicion that they do or fear that they will can totally poison a relationship.

 

[gala]

Oh, and in response to all you guys who think Astra is wrong... she's not... and the "logical" answer to all the very insightful and logical points you all raise is that people are inherently hypocritical. Everyone has a way of justifying things to themselves that makes them think what they do is OK, and what other people do is not OK.

An SP has no problem thinking her having sex with 10 people is "just work" and at the same time getting pissed off at her BF for seeing another SP. And so on. Guys also have no problem coming up with N different excuses why sleeping with that other SP isn't "cheating".

People are simply hypocritical. Ordinary people, all the time--it's just that when the hobby gets involved for either side the hypocrisy has a way of hurting the other person pretty badly. In the case of the SP either all the things Astra listed and especially just a persistent psychological dread of those things; and in the case of the guy the same except it's some sort of suppressed jealosy.

It's a tough deal for both people to make a relationship work where one or the other person is somehow involved in the hobby.

 

[sweet guy]

Maybe Astra felt burnt and learn the "lesson" the hard way. Otherwise how can she give such sage advice?

When you see really beautiful SP, you have to remind yourself you are just one of her "horny Johns". There is no chance in hell you will be her boyfriend.

Boytoy? Maybe